Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Take the trip with him?

Posted by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:59 AM
  • 6 Replies

Quick back story : met Nov 2011 and he asked me to move into HIS house Feb 2012 and he was in court for shared custody of 3 yo.  Move in.  find out house is his mothers who makes it known, the child he is fighting for isnt his.  Im already in love.  His other kids 16 and 20 dont work or clean up after themseles and I became a maid.  He didnt do anything about it.  They never even lock the front door and their friends were always coming and going.  This caused many fights and on top of it his drunk mother taking cotnrol of his 3 yo and not even trusting him with her so she is raising her.

Now I am moving out.  I am still in love with him and he loves me but his mother now hates me bc I actually want to parent and teach these children.  So Im leaving.

Question ladies, altho I am moving out of bf's house me and him and a trip planned in May for my daughter (7) and his (16). we are going to universal studios, well were, he said wasnt going to go but now he is. we are on the same plane too. My problem is I do not go on rides and not sure how uch fun my daughter will have or if she can go on some w/o an adult. At first my mom said let him go (diferent room of course), but I dont think that is a good idea. Maybe his daughter would get it, but me..IDK Im still in love with him and he is still in love with me and I cannot get all caught up in things months after ya know...What do I do. I dont want to cancel our trip and lose out on money. My mom said change the flight and go somewhere else another time but its $100 each ticket and that is alot to lose too. What would you do?

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 8:59 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
breebree04
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:56 AM

I think if I was still in love with him it would be too hard to go on the trip with him knowing that things cant/wont work out between us. Especially if you've had some time to start healing, its going to send you right back to square one. I do see that you had this planned so you could take your daughter and I wouldnt wanna cancel and disappoint her but like your mom said maybe you could go somewhere else instead or maybe you could just put the trip off for a couple weeks and just go at a different time.

stephsmom05
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 10:53 AM

 that is how I feel but we would lose alot of money cancelling.  We plan to go to Universal Studios so even if I did a day with her, but then she couldnt do any rides that wouldnt be fun.  I coudl do seaworld but i feel if we go all the way there and she doesnt go to universal like she is dying to it wouldnt be fun for her.  but yes i feel exactly how you feel.  it will hurt me more in the end.  I just dont know.


Quoting breebree04:

I think if I was still in love with him it would be too hard to go on the trip with him knowing that things cant/wont work out between us. Especially if you've had some time to start healing, its going to send you right back to square one. I do see that you had this planned so you could take your daughter and I wouldnt wanna cancel and disappoint her but like your mom said maybe you could go somewhere else instead or maybe you could just put the trip off for a couple weeks and just go at a different time.


 

steviechick
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:09 AM

This is a hard one.  You have already moved out.  So, you can't live in the same house as your SO.  Too bad that you can't keep up your relationship with him but the kids and his mom are huge factors in the equation.  Have you just thought about going on the trip and spending separate time with your SO and your DD?  That way you can at least get your money out of the trip.  If your DD won't go on any rides then just go on the rides she will like - even going on them several times.  My DD is scared of rides, too.  I know the feeling of spending money and not getting what you paid for.  After the trip, have a good long look at your current relationship.  If you can keep the relationship going with you living separately from him then go for it.  Some relationships work this way.  It's best to at least try and work things out first.  I have a feeling that you are better off moving on and starting a life with your DD.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:12 AM

I'm not sure what I'd do in this situation but here's a bump for you!  Good luck!!

stephsmom05
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:30 AM

Thanks.  Steviechick. I wish it could work outside. Its not like I would move back here.  He admits if we lived outside it would work.  He wont leave bc his kids are 16 and 20 and still need him.  which i get but his mom is the one who raises them and supports them financially anyway.  I would love if it could work, how would I even ask him.  I am still in the house.  He is staying downstairs w his parents and me upstairs.  I am hoping to be out by next week.  I just dont know

Robsessed98
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 5:33 PM

Can y'all not be in love and have a relationship without you living there? Just go back to dating until his kids are gone and he cuts the apron strings? If my dd was really looking forward to the trip, I'd still go. There are some rides she is old enough for. But if the 16 y/o is going to, can't she ride the bigger ones with her? As far as being with him on the trip, I personally would just go along with what feels right. Tough decision no doubt.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)