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Single Moms Single Moms

so heres the situation:

babys daddy isnt gonna be in th pic when its born (his choice) and refuses to acknowledge its even his; calls me a slut and just really makin excuses for himself to get out of it, so needless to say were not on terms. my mom always had a thing about the way he treated me and since he aint gonna be part of its life, says i should give it my last name and not put the father on the certificate at all.

it feels wrong to me, but then i wouldve thought hed change his mind over the duration of the pregnancy but he hasnt budged and im almost 8 months now. i told babys daddy about this thought and he was really pissed (?); not sure if he just wanted to claim it for taxes or what. i thought it was funny how he got mad when HES the one that wanted to leave and HE doesnt want anythin to do with us, all his choice.

so i guess what im askin is should i take my moms advice? i aint got long to debate this, but i want to make the right choice for my baby in the long run. plus i think its a girl (i wanted to be surprised) so does the last name really matter in that case?

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM
Replies (21-26):
BentleyManoula
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:44 AM
I gave my son my last name. His father was not at the birth, nor is going to have anything to do with him. I just felt better if my son had my last name than his father's last name.
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Emiliush
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:26 AM

uhhh. he seems a bit dengerous to be near your newborn since he keep changing his mind- and that isn't really good.

maybe once he saw the baby and hold it, he will love it and all cuz that's how guys- they can't feel the baby in their belly, like women do.


Quoting _coldcoffee_:

idk what hes doin.. first hes all like 'fuck this shit' and not wantin anythin to do with it, then hes like i want pics and visitation and wants to stick around for a while, then i started makin my baby registry and asked if he wanted to see what i put on there, and hes like 'eh' and i said 'so you dont' and hes like 'why, idrc, so if you want to show me show me' ....

Quoting Emiliush:

that's what I did!!!!!!!! no father in my sons birth certificate or life!!!!!!

[plus if you will want to get him a passport, they will ask you to get permition from both parents. that is if the father is on the birth certificate.- such a waste!!!! SO MUCH BETTER BEING IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN CHILD, I MEAN THE FATHER WOULDN'T CARE OR DO ANYTING EITHER WAY. WHAT'S THE POINT!!...]

And I am happy with my decision!!! it's hard, but you get lots of help from people who do care!!

[plus if he will have the fathers last name, and youre a single mom. and dad wouldn't be involved. it will be kinda hard knowing your the mom with different last names. i think. im not sure how it works!]




poppyseed77
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:06 PM

I have the same exact question, except my mom has passed so I can't even have the luxury of her opinion.  I was told you can't put down the dads name on the birth certificate without his permission.   I really don't want to put unknown...I don't like how that looks.  My childs dad was also not happy when I said I would give the child my name, yet he maintains he will have nothing to do with it, I am forcing his hand , consider him an annoymous donor etc.  Anyway.  I think the point of being called Mrs so and so is a good one.  Yet I also want my child to know where he is from, his heritage.  I dunno.  and then will he use that as an excuse later...."well you didn't even give the kid my name so...."  I would say take your mom's advice for now...

butcher
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:37 PM

 YOUR last name! and rack that SOB for child support! F*****g loser

mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:38 PM

Give the child your last name if he doesn't seem to want to be involved. If he doesn't want to be involved in the child's life, why give them his last name. Not having his last name or name on the birth certificate should have no bearing on cs. Paternity just has to be established to get cs, you can do a dna test. Knowing their heritage has nothing do with whose last name the baby has. I know my both sides of my heritage. When I had my son, since we weren't married my ex had to sign something awknowledging he was the father, course we were engaged at the time.

victoriahearts
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:43 PM


I'm divorced and for the exact same reason as stated below I had to kept my ex's last name because no matter what I'm still Mrs "my son's last name" best advice is too give your child your name and  you wont be able to put him on the birth certificate unless a. he actually signs the birth certificate acknowledging his the father or b. you take him to court for a paternity test and child support in which case the name can go on the birth certificate. 

Quoting yezay:

Do you want to be called mrs "his last name" your child's entire life? If not use your last name!!!



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