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Am I wrong...I gave him an ultimatum

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 5:08 PM
  • 8 Replies

My kids father comes and goes as he pleases...we have a visitation schedule, but he doesn't follow it. He gets them maybe once or twice a month, and makes a big deal when its a holiday or someone in his houses' birthday. He is supposed to get them every weekend and he doesnt. He doesnt pay child support because he was smart enough to quit the only job he found in 2 years! So I am basically on my own with my babies. Now I told him to either be there fulltime like I am or get lost. So he immediately says I'm denying his rights to see his kids. So I told him he can see them but lets get a court schedule so theres not problems. He tells me F U B#tch I hate you etc. and dont contact him anymore. So I didnt...and I dont anyway because I dont ask him for anything and if he wants to speak to my kids he can call. Anyway he contacted me the next day asking to take the kids and I ignored him because he told me repeatedly and I have the messages...not to contact him, stop emailing him, and never to speak to him again.So I did just what he asked me to do. It's all a game to him smh. I called the family court today and they said they have nothing in their system with him going down there for a visitation schedule. Whew, I had to vent. But I want him in their lives, but at the end of the day I dont because he doesnt do anything or spend time with them. My son is a very intelligent 3 year old and he knows whats going on. I dont put things into his head, but all of a sudden he doesnt want to go to daddys house, daddy doesnt play with me, daddy doesnt come get me, daddy wont come to my house, daddy wont call me. I feel bad for the little guy. But am I wrong for just waiting for a court date to allow visitation,because the schedule hasnt been followed in months. I only stopped the schedule recently because he doesnt care anything about the schedule. I was going to go today to get it modified, but I hate going to court. 

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 5:08 PM
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Replies (1-8):
mommaJewels2011
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 5:20 PM
It does sound like you're both playing a game. But heck, we're human and I do get where you're coming from
ckmom2013
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 5:24 PM

well if I contact him, no one in his house will answer first of all...and neither will he. Then I will have to keep calling...then when we get to court he will lie and say I was harassing him and playing on his phone. I dont email him because all he does is talk crap to me and bring up our old relationship that I care nothing about. All I want him to do is take the kids on a regular basis or go away! He's making it difficult.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:15 AM
2 moms liked this
Document every day he didn't show up or didn't bring the kids back its hurting the kids more than you guys. Good luck
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sid1083
by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:12 PM
Is your visitation schedule court ordered now? Or is it something you two agreed to on your own?

For now, I'd stick to weekends only like the schedule says, but if there's not a court agreement, I'd be down filing to get everything firmly documented so nothing negative could come back on me.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
elizabeth.mary
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:42 PM

It's not wrong of you to wait until the new court date.

ckmom2013
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:48 PM


The schedule is from a mediator at the courts but its about a year and a half old...in between that time, we dated after we broke up he still didnt follow the old schedule. So he tells me I am violating the order, but he doesnt acknowledge the court order himself. He asked to take the kids today. i told him yea but lets sign off on a schedule and he cursed me out for no reason. I still told him he can get the kids and I never heard from him again. So this is just a big game to him. I'm not even worried about violating anything anymore. Once he takes me to court if he ever does, I have my documents that show that I ALLOWED him to see his kids but he made it to where he couldnt see them. 

Quoting sid1083:

Is your visitation schedule court ordered now? Or is it something you two agreed to on your own?

For now, I'd stick to weekends only like the schedule says, but if there's not a court agreement, I'd be down filing to get everything firmly documented so nothing negative could come back on me.



ckmom2013
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:49 PM

Yeah I was letting them go with him today, but he pretended he wanted to see them just to bother me and I told him he could see them and he never showed up. So I don't care anymore...I will just wait and if he never takes me to court then too bad for him. I feel bad for my kids but they will be fine eventually.


Quoting elizabeth.mary:

It's not wrong of you to wait until the new court date.



elizabeth.mary
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:03 PM

If he's going to be like that I wouldn't put your kids through it. If he says he's going to come don't get them ready until he's already there, because it really hurts them when they don't show up.

Quoting ckmom2013:

Yeah I was letting them go with him today, but he pretended he wanted to see them just to bother me and I told him he could see them and he never showed up. So I don't care anymore...I will just wait and if he never takes me to court then too bad for him. I feel bad for my kids but they will be fine eventually.


Quoting elizabeth.mary:

It's not wrong of you to wait until the new court date.




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