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I need your advice...visition this weekend.

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:00 PM
  • 3 Replies

 My DD is supposed to go with her dad saturdays by 6pm and he takes her to the babysitter on Sunday.  She's 5.  Last weekend and this weekend both he has asked me to take her back on sunday evenings so he can work.  I've been struggling the last few weeks with severe anxiety about school (full time), two full time jobs, homework, and bills.  I'm exhausted to say the least.  I'm a crying mess and I've called my doctor about an anti-anxiety pill because I know I'm no fun to be around at the moment.  I need a break.  SO, back to this weekend.  He wants to work early on monday morning, before the babysitter will take her and I'm considering say no, deal with it.  I love my DD with all my heart, but I need a break so I can get some schoolwork done, but I don't want to cause issues with him and her to think I don't love her.  The thing is, I don't mind helping out, but he won't do it for me.  Just today I took her to the doctor for her tubes in her ears and they want to see her every month.  It's difficult for me to get her there because of my class schedule and their schedules don't exactly match up.  I told him I might need help getting her there and as per his standard response, he said "I probably can't get off work".  He rarely pays CS on time and just recently had a court date because of it.  It was canceled because he finally paid in full, but again he is late.  I feel like I'm punishing her by telling him no, but I feel like if I don't take the time for myself I won't ever get my stuff done and start to feel better.  What would you do?? Tell him to deal with it, or take her back on Sunday and do your best to get through??  Keep in mind, if I take her on Sunday, he won't repay the favor ever...

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:00 PM
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Replies (1-3):
brieri
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:30 PM

 Tell him it's his time, he needs to find someone else to take care of her during his time if he can't hold up to his obligation.  This in no way means you do not love your child any less. Document it, and when the right time comes take it back to court, maybe to get reduced time.  I realize he's giving you the first rights of taking her back before his time is up.  Since according to what you say he's not helping you in other ways, don't back out of it and let him take advantage of you. 

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:45 PM
If you do this be prepared for him to not take her at all.


Quoting brieri:

 Tell him it's his time, he needs to find someone else to take care of her during his time if he can't hold up to his obligation.  This in no way means you do not love your child any less. Document it, and when the right time comes take it back to court, maybe to get reduced time.  I realize he's giving you the first rights of taking her back before his time is up.  Since according to what you say he's not helping you in other ways, don't back out of it and let him take advantage of you. 


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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:09 AM
He is giving you first rights maybe take her back the latest possible so you have time to yourself and she just goes to bed when she comes home Sunday?
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