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EX takes better care of his new child/family then his first born. How to Cope?

Posted by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:03 PM
  • 14 Replies

Hey there,

It's me again. 3 months ago I had a post about should I take my child's father for support. I was still researching and mulling over it but it just seems like the the writing is on the wall.  He paid the tuition in the end and now we are backed up again. The deal is he pays when he feels like it period and he has reimbursement from his job so I can't see why he says he doesn't have it. So now this past week I received a letter that my child would be expelled from school for non-payment. I missed my portion for 2 months so I did not attack him. We both missed the same amount of months. the school wanted a certain amount of money and I told my ex we need to come up with some money so our kid wouldn't be kicked out of school. He blatantly told me he didn't have it and I had better do something. 

I spoke to the school and they negotiated with me and brought the amount due down $800 dollars! so we only had to pay a smaller amount (much smaller). When i reached out to my ex again he still told me he didnt have it. 

i was beyond pissed. Here's the clincher. I just found out he was giving a big blow out-birthday party for his second child with his live in girlfriend this weekend and that's why he refused to help his first child out. I cannot believe that he wouldn't give me a dime knowing that they would expel our child. But a big fabulous party for his 3 year old with characters and all the trimmings was more important.

I am not surprised because he doesn't want to pay for private school tuition anymore for our child. this is not the first time I have dealt with this (him doing more for his new family and the girlfriend has a tween son from a previous relationship who my ex takes care of). I have been dealing with this for 3 years.  Trust me folks I understand about having huge fab parties for your child. I have had them myself! I am just floored that he wouldn't try or offer anything to help his first child stay in school.

He makes a lot of money and get's paid weekly and lives with his new girlfriend's mother in a house. I know for a fact that he just didnt want to do it. 

Please give me your comments. How do you deal??  I appreciate it! 

Toshi

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Cooperfamily
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:08 PM
1 mom liked this
Have you took him to court for child support? I would
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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:16 PM
My ex will tell people he only has one son... his fb page has pics of him and his 3rd son. Yet our older two get ignored. He sees them maybe every few months (he saw them for christmas of course but didn't bother to even call on our older son's 18th b-day) we have been dealing with this for years and now that kids are in high school he refuses to speak to me AT ALL. He will tell our sons he will see them on his weekend and then text our son 20 minutes before he is supposed to pick them up to cancel. Neither kid has their lic (he refused to let them so they had to wait til 18)...but even if they did their Dad tells them they will never allow a car of mine to be parked in front of his home.
All the while his youngest son is spoiled rotten .
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Jennyanne322
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:20 PM
Why don't you just take him to court and have child support established?
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Toshi92
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:40 PM

Hey ladies,  no I haven't taken him yet. I have some friends that said, ''you might get bit in the you know what if you do'.....because hes not perse a deadbeat dad but his priorities are screwed up! He pays the tuition late but has tution reimbursment and he has him 3 1/2 days a week, my child is under his insurance and he pays his cell bill. so i was afraid that I may not have a case. but I think I still do!

Conniejo-OMG!!! I feel your pain! he only says he has one son. I am so sorry I can't imagine how you have been feeling all this time. You can't even park in front of his house that b**&*!  I have the same thing do you know that when he moved into his girlfriends momma's house he refused to give me their house number. I could only speak to my kid on his cell or the father's cell. Can you believe that? It's a shame.

elizabeth.mary
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:07 PM

Like other's have said take him to court and let the court handle it. If he still doesn't pay then he'll get himself into some trouble.

Other than that there's really nothing you can do... Why doesn't your child go to a public school?

Toshi92
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:38 PM

Hey Elizabeth, 

thanks and I will tell you simply I didn't want my kid in a public school especially in my old neighborhood.  I went to Catholic school outside of my neighborhood all my life and thought it was good for me and so be it my child as well. By the way the father has been paying this since our child was two so from research that's in my favor. it's a preference is all not knocking public schools or charter its just what I wanted for my child and at one point when I was with my child's father he agreed too. So it's all good.


Thanks!

mmtosam06
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:44 PM
Charter schools are free my dd's charter school is christian based and i love it
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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:49 PM
If he has been paying already you can have it put in a court order he will pay 1/2 tuition in addition to a set amount of child support. Just so he can't play the games he is now.



Quoting Toshi92:

Hey Elizabeth, 

thanks and I will tell you simply I didn't want my kid in a public school especially in my old neighborhood.  I went to Catholic school outside of my neighborhood all my life and thought it was good for me and so be it my child as well. By the way the father has been paying this since our child was two so from research that's in my favor. it's a preference is all not knocking public schools or charter its just what I wanted for my child and at one point when I was with my child's father he agreed too. So it's all good.


Thanks!


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Cooperfamily
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:03 PM
I understand where you are coming from..my dd dad hasn't spent time with her in 2 months because he went back to his ex who he has a daughter with also...smfh it pisses me off and I'm going to get full custody because getting child support isn't worth it if he doesn't have a job..
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Toshi92
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:04 PM

exactly conniejo thats what I heard! 

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