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EX takes better care of his new child/family then his first born. How to Cope?

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Hey there,

It's me again. 3 months ago I had a post about should I take my child's father for support. I was still researching and mulling over it but it just seems like the the writing is on the wall.  He paid the tuition in the end and now we are backed up again. The deal is he pays when he feels like it period and he has reimbursement from his job so I can't see why he says he doesn't have it. So now this past week I received a letter that my child would be expelled from school for non-payment. I missed my portion for 2 months so I did not attack him. We both missed the same amount of months. the school wanted a certain amount of money and I told my ex we need to come up with some money so our kid wouldn't be kicked out of school. He blatantly told me he didn't have it and I had better do something. 

I spoke to the school and they negotiated with me and brought the amount due down $800 dollars! so we only had to pay a smaller amount (much smaller). When i reached out to my ex again he still told me he didnt have it. 

i was beyond pissed. Here's the clincher. I just found out he was giving a big blow out-birthday party for his second child with his live in girlfriend this weekend and that's why he refused to help his first child out. I cannot believe that he wouldn't give me a dime knowing that they would expel our child. But a big fabulous party for his 3 year old with characters and all the trimmings was more important.

I am not surprised because he doesn't want to pay for private school tuition anymore for our child. this is not the first time I have dealt with this (him doing more for his new family and the girlfriend has a tween son from a previous relationship who my ex takes care of). I have been dealing with this for 3 years.  Trust me folks I understand about having huge fab parties for your child. I have had them myself! I am just floored that he wouldn't try or offer anything to help his first child stay in school.

He makes a lot of money and get's paid weekly and lives with his new girlfriend's mother in a house. I know for a fact that he just didnt want to do it. 

Please give me your comments. How do you deal??  I appreciate it! 


by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:03 PM
Replies (11-14):
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:10 PM

cooperfamily understood seriously!  if he doesn't have a job it friggn sucks! but if you keep him in the system and when he does have a job it will come to you. That happend to my cousin last year. We were cracking up! she kept it in for a year and a half -them ole' boy got a job and my cousin's daughter got the money!!! 

ask about it Cooperfamily

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Your friends don't know what you are talkinga bout. It's NOTHING about him being a good dad or not (as far as child support) it's a LEGAL obligation for and to his son. That money is used for gas to and from drs. appts for your child, used towards the roof over your head, his schooling. You should file!

Quoting Toshi92:

Hey ladies,  no I haven't taken him yet. I have some friends that said, ''you might get bit in the you know what if you do'.....because hes not perse a deadbeat dad but his priorities are screwed up! He pays the tuition late but has tution reimbursment and he has him 3 1/2 days a week, my child is under his insurance and he pays his cell bill. so i was afraid that I may not have a case. but I think I still do!

Conniejo-OMG!!! I feel your pain! he only says he has one son. I am so sorry I can't imagine how you have been feeling all this time. You can't even park in front of his house that b**&*!  I have the same thing do you know that when he moved into his girlfriends momma's house he refused to give me their house number. I could only speak to my kid on his cell or the father's cell. Can you believe that? It's a shame.

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 12:33 AM

Thank you Beach mommy!!! I needed to hear that.  my friends were confusing me. Itrs not about being a good dad or not.

this Cafe Mom forum rocks!!! 

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:53 AM

I know where your coming from. my son's father left us while I was pregnant to take care of a kid that ISN'T his and told me they needed him more

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