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custody/grandparents...drama

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:09 AM
  • 13 Replies

Hello!

I'm new to this site but I am so desperatly in need of advice. I was married to my childrens father but he was dating someone else and she became preganant. he left us three for her, hence our recent divorce. We battled pretty hard over the children and spent a lot of money in court. He argued that he wanted as much tiime as possibe with them (false statement)  this went on for years. In recent events I was contacted and informaed he has moved out of state about a month ago. he said not one word to me or the kids. He now owes support collection unit 3000, which has been very difficult to get. He is in the national guard but I having trouble getting his comanding offericers info. Can I go and modifiy our order for sole custody? and any advice?

Also throughout this who thing his mother has had me in court for her own sick pleasures fighting for visitaiton after never having anything to do with either child till this last year. Shes been a nightmare. Verbally assaulting everytime i see her in front of the children. She gained every other sat 10-7. which is awful because I wrok all week full time then go to school full time after work. So my question here is do i really have to let them go see her since the dad has moved out of state? and how can i fight this?

The children do not like seeing anyone on that side. they are very controlling and abusive. Everytime they go they are forced to stay in her office for the whole time as punishment for not cleaning fast enough. Cps does not view this as an issue.so I can not take that issue to court. please help me fiqure out what to do.

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
momma1708
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:26 AM

I have no advice about the grandma. As for your ex you might be able to. His moving away I think would be a violation of the order, but it might not be because he didn't take the children. I believe at a certain age children are allowed to testify as to wether or not they want to see anyone that is fighting for custody/visitation. I hope someone else has better answers for you than I do. 

paigesmommy5264
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:36 AM
So there's a court oder saying she gets Saturday. 10-7? If there's a court order then it didn't matter where dad lives, its her court order- not his. You can deny visits then she can take you back to court for contempt. How old are your kids?
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Mocking.Jay
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:05 PM

This whole thing is bullshit. I barely believe an absent father should be able to see his kids at his own command and use the kids as a pawn against the mother, but a grandmother?

I would do what I can to get a hold of a good lawyer, and DOCUMENT what the children are saying. I'm assuming they tell you it's abusive over there since you are not around when they visit.

Document everything, date stamp everything. Like a journal/diary. Take that to the judge, try use that to get the kids to see a psych, then the psych will act as a mandatory reporter and could help you get your kids in your custody and will limit the visitations.

Mocking.Jay
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:06 PM

I do too. I believe they should lower the age between 8-10. 

Quoting momma1708:

I have no advice about the grandma. As for your ex you might be able to. His moving away I think would be a violation of the order, but it might not be because he didn't take the children. I believe at a certain age children are allowed to testify as to wether or not they want to see anyone that is fighting for custody/visitation. I hope someone else has better answers for you than I do. 


DieselsMom
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:09 PM

First piece of advice...put your boobs away!

ehoff11
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:28 PM

The kids are 5 and 7. I also feel that they should lower the age. Its difficult because the grandmother is doing all the dirty work so that there father can see them on hiw own command which is horrible thing to teach them. Thanks for the tips ladies its helpful . And to dieselsmom thank you for your critiquing. we are all on here for support from one another, if thats not why your are here and you want to judge pictures then you shouldnt be on here.

MsLogansMommy
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:37 PM

I didnt even notice your boobs until I read that post. What does that even have to do with what the poster was asking. OP just ignore responses like that people like that just want a response so dont feed into that shit. In the age of the internet people feel they can say anything and then hide beyond the anonymity of being online and not face to face its really pathetic dont let it make you mad in fact I feel sorry for people like that. So as to your question I would check with your local social services agency and see if they have any place that offers free legal aid/advice usually most countys do or you could even go down to the college and put an ad on the message board for people studying law they usually love to put their knowledge to work. Also like the other ladies said make sure you document everything keep copies of any texts, emails, letters, and write down dates and lengths of any phone calls as soon as they happen to keep all the info accurate. I'm sure you dont do this and already know this but it bears repeating never speak bad about their father in front of them be bigger than that kids are smart and will figure it out on their own. Good luck to you

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Is there a court order granting HER visitation or the Dad? My state there is no grand parents rights, but if a judge in your state granted them then yes you have to let her have them.
As for Dad, if he moved without notifying courts then yes that would be grounds to modify order. The visitation would need to reflect the new situation. But be warned, usually out of state visitation means he would get them weeks at a time. If it won't change child support I would just leave as is so you can have proof of all the missed visitation if he takes you to court.


Quoting paigesmommy5264:

So there's a court oder saying she gets Saturday. 10-7? If there's a court order then it didn't matter where dad lives, its her court order- not his. You can deny visits then she can take you back to court for contempt. How old are your kids?

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Mistweave
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:46 PM

That's one reason I love NC, grandparent's rights don't exist here.  You can always call the main national guard office for that state and go over all their heads if you had to.

ehoff11
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:46 PM

I forgot to mention that non of that side of the family does not have my phone number. 1. because the harassment was horrible and 2 because mid dec. I recieved texts from the kids dad that he was in my house he also sent pics of being there while i was at work. I filed papers and he was arrested and given a trespassing ticket. I have court on the 30th for a protection order, not sure if he'll be there or not. I very nervous about it,

The only communication is via e-mail. so that much i have recorded. The kids are seeing a councler so I hope with this new information it will benifit me and the kids.

we had a radius clause in our order because he didnt want me to move, got figure. I do know that because he moved it no longer needs to be followed,yay. but im not sure how itll effect the grandmothers visitation if i move or something. #toomanyhandsinthepot

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