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visitation issues. advice please

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:19 PM
  • 11 Replies
In the 3 years me and my EX have been divorced he has NEVER followed the court order for visitations. He comes and goes as he please. If he gets a new GF she comes before his kids. Today I got a text from my EX saying that his new GF of 2 weeks is moving in with him and that he won't be able to see the kids at my place anymore cause he doesn't think its fair to her. I told him that I don't trust his new GF one because they have only been together for a short while and two I don't know her not to hurt my kids. His taste in women lately have not been the best. He smokes weed and I think he might be doing more even though he says both him and his girl are clean. He told me if I didn't follow the courtorder for visitation that he would show up at my apartment with the sherrif and force me to hand over my kids and if I didn't he would send me to jail. I'm afraid that if I leave my kids with him alone that he will dissappear with them. He did it with his other son when he was 4. I told him if his new GF loved him at all she would not make him choose between her or the kids. When he comes to my place to see the kids I stay in my room so he can have time with the kids. He is also a smoker and smokes in his apartment and he knows the kids can't be around ciggerret smoke. I'm sitting in the hospital with my son right now and my EX is no where to be found. I asked him to come because his son needs him and he said I don't have a car or money for a cab tell him I love him. He says I am keeping him from seeing his kids when that's not true. I have never said he can't see his kids I said I won't leave my kids with her around. I told him that Archer can't even stand the thought of me being with someone else (he will check my phone to see who is calling me or texting me) so how the hell does he expect archer to be ok with seeing his dad with someone new. He's not even giving them the chance to get use to the idea. We just broke up right before thanksgiving and he's already with someone new. Any advice would be great thanks. And any bashing I will delet the post.



I should also add that when my DD was born he didn't see the kids for 8 months because he had a new GF. And he only wants to see the kids if he doesn't have plans with his new girlfriend or when its convienent for him. Also he was suppose to see the kids today but decided not to. He said that I won't let him see the kids but that is so far from the truth. Its his way to make me look like the bad guy and an excuse NOT to see the kids and be a father.
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by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
PiscesMommy021
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:27 PM
BUMP....I don't have any advice for you. My ex husband is the same way. He never takes his visitation with our kids, and he always puts everything before them, especially his gf who he has been dating off and on since last June, even though she has made it clear she doesn't like my kids and wants nothing to do with them. She has never even met them. But I don't care anymore. I love my kids and I will continue to take care of them as always.
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mnivis01
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:30 PM
Do you have an order with the court? In this order, does it say that he has to see the children are your place? Or that he can take them to his place?
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jenking04
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:30 PM
I'm the same way. I will always bust my ass to care for my kids. My EX just recently told me that he's beyond tired of working for nothing. He has 2 other kids that he hasn't seen in over 10 years and then there are my 2. He keeps telling me that people change but he will never change. His kids mean nothing to him.


Quoting PiscesMommy021:

BUMP....I don't have any advice for you. My ex husband is the same way. He never takes his visitation with our kids, and he always puts everything before them, especially his gf who he has been dating off and on since last June, even though she has made it clear she doesn't like my kids and wants nothing to do with them. She has never even met them. But I don't care anymore. I love my kids and I will continue to take care of them as always.

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jenking04
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:33 PM
We do have a court order. He doesn't have a car so he can't take my kids any where. And as a said in the original post he smokes in side his apartment. My kids can't be around the smoke cause of asthma and he knows this.


Quoting mnivis01:

Do you have an order with the court? In this order, does it say that he has to see the children are your place? Or that he can take them to his place?


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mnivis01
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:35 PM
Well then there is no way that he can have you arrested. I think he is just looking for a way to make you angry. If he gives you anymore problems, I would go to court and explain that he is threatening you.


Quoting jenking04:

We do have a court order. He doesn't have a car so he can't take my kids any where. And as a said in the original post he smokes in side his apartment. My kids can't be around the smoke cause of asthma and he knows this.




Quoting mnivis01:

Do you have an order with the court? In this order, does it say that he has to see the children are your place? Or that he can take them to his place?




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PiscesMommy021
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:36 PM
I understand. Sometimes people tell me hopefully he will grow up one day, but I won't hold my breath and I doubt that it will ever happen. He does pay child support but only because it is taken out of his check, if it wasn't he probably wouldn't pay it. I just have to explain to my kids why they don't get to see their dad when they ask, that is the hard part because they are only 4 and 5 yrs old. But I think now they are getting used to not seeing him.


Quoting jenking04:

I'm the same way. I will always bust my ass to care for my kids. My EX just recently told me that he's beyond tired of working for nothing. He has 2 other kids that he hasn't seen in over 10 years and then there are my 2. He keeps telling me that people change but he will never change. His kids mean nothing to him.




Quoting PiscesMommy021:

BUMP....I don't have any advice for you. My ex husband is the same way. He never takes his visitation with our kids, and he always puts everything before them, especially his gf who he has been dating off and on since last June, even though she has made it clear she doesn't like my kids and wants nothing to do with them. She has never even met them. But I don't care anymore. I love my kids and I will continue to take care of them as always.


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jenking04
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:38 PM
Lol wow it sounds like we were married to the same asshole at one point. I get CS but only cause it is garnished as well.


Quoting PiscesMommy021:

I understand. Sometimes people tell me hopefully he will grow up one day, but I won't hold my breath and I doubt that it will ever happen. He does pay child support but only because it is taken out of his check, if it wasn't he probably wouldn't pay it. I just have to explain to my kids why they don't get to see their dad when they ask, that is the hard part because they are only 4 and 5 yrs old. But I think now they are getting used to not seeing him.




Quoting jenking04:

I'm the same way. I will always bust my ass to care for my kids. My EX just recently told me that he's beyond tired of working for nothing. He has 2 other kids that he hasn't seen in over 10 years and then there are my 2. He keeps telling me that people change but he will never change. His kids mean nothing to him.






Quoting PiscesMommy021:

BUMP....I don't have any advice for you. My ex husband is the same way. He never takes his visitation with our kids, and he always puts everything before them, especially his gf who he has been dating off and on since last June, even though she has made it clear she doesn't like my kids and wants nothing to do with them. She has never even met them. But I don't care anymore. I love my kids and I will continue to take care of them as always.



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Lita5202
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:50 PM

 Does the court order say he has to stay at your place with the kids?  i see you say you have one but you never said if the court order states he has to stay at your place.

Just becuase he doesnt have a car doesnt mean he can't take the kids anywhere. My ex doesnt have a car and he still takes the kids. during the week, He walks them to DD, stay relax and brings them home. On weekends, they take the CDTA bus to get around. But if the court order doesnt say where he can visit. he can get police involved saying your not following the order, my ex did once.

About the Asthma. get something in writing from his dr and bring it to court.

jenking04
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:55 PM
It doesn't say where he has to visit them. But when I asked him to come see his son at the hospital he said he didn't have a car and no money for a cab. That's his choice not mine. I have no issues with him seeing the kids some place else but not his place with his GF and dmoking there.


Quoting Lita5202:

 Does the court order say he has to stay at your place with the kids?  i see you say you have one but you never said if the court order states he has to stay at your place.


Just becuase he doesnt have a car doesnt mean he can't take the kids anywhere. My ex doesnt have a car and he still takes the kids. during the week, He walks them to DD, stay relax and brings them home. On weekends, they take the CDTA bus to get around. But if the court order doesnt say where he can visit. he can get police involved saying your not following the order, my ex did once.


About the Asthma. get something in writing from his dr and bring it to court.


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breebree04
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 7:20 PM

This sounds exactly like my situation except my ex does see the kids more but if its not convient for him or he has a gf at the time he will bail on his visitation. Him and his family that he lives with also smokes in the house and our ds has asthma. Him and his family also all smoke weed and some of them do harder drugs, their dad has on and off but as far as I know he only smokes weed now. I had it set in our divorce/custody papers that he cannot consume alcohol or any kind of drugs while he has the children and judge said anytime I feel like he might be to bring him back to court and he would drug test him but they wont do anything about any family members that may be drunk or on drugs around the kids as long as their dad is sober.

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