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Need advice ASAP please. Custody issues

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:00 AM
  • 22 Replies
My EX recently told me that his GF of 2 weeks is moving in and that he can no longer see the kids at my place. Fine we find a neutral place but I don't want his GF around my kids so soon. Anyways he skipped his visit with the kids yesterday and said that I won't let him see the kids wich is so far from the truth. He said he will give me time to follow our visitation court order wich he has never followed. He said if I didn't follow it he would show up to my apartment and have me in contempt of court and arrested. I am documenting his missed visits and his missed calls or text to my son hoping it will help me in court. I want to go after full physical custody of the kids. My question is should I contact him at the end of every week to see if he wants to see the kids?? Atleast then it shows I made an effort. Or should I wait to see if he contacts me to set up a time to see the kids?? This way if he does show up with the sherrif I have proof I was not in contempt of court. Any advice would be great thanks.
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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:00 AM
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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:47 AM
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Its not your fault if he doesnt show up or call, you dont have to put forth an effort for him to see his kids. He should be putting forth the effort. You cant get in trouble for not calling him when its his visitation to see if hes planning on getting his kids but I would definately keep track of when he gets the kids and when he is suppose to but doesnt. If he involves the police and its his court ordered time with the kids they will make you hand them over even if you have proof he hasnt gotten them recently but you can take him back to court and show the judge and see what he is willing to do about it

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:56 AM
Don't call him. Follow the order. I was told they are allowed to be one hour late, after that hour they are not allowed to take the kids. If he takes the cops after that hour you can report him. I live in Texas, I went to family court and I received this information. Investigate what you can do, enforce the visitation, and keep all contact with him to a minimal.
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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:53 PM
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It's not your fault he doesn't call or show up. You are NOT in contempt if you follow the schedule. 2 weeks and he's moved in? Hell no. I wouldn't want her around my child either.

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:42 PM

 sounds like the new gf is putting shit in his head. stand ur ground follow ur agreement and ull be the one in the right.

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:55 PM

I would follow the agreement as everyone else says.. make no effort to contact him.. Follow the order exactly.. Allow him to do the work and keep track of everything.. Does the order specify location of visitation, time?? Does he have joint custody (legal and physical?).. 

I would take all visits missed / phone calls missed and then if siginificant amount go file for modification of custody... Specify want full custody due to inconsistent and unstable visitation.. (before he goes and does anything).... 

My daughters father is taking me back to court for modifaction of custodfy as well... he wants joint but has not made any effort and is doing it only bc he is jealous thinking i have a boyfriend not for the sake of our daughter...

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:07 PM
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I can understand not wanting his gf around your kids so early but can I ask you what your custody arrangement is with him? Because if the custody order say that the gets them on x days and it doesn't mention that the visit need to be supervised or neutrual place you will be found in contempt of court. You may have worked out something with him in regard to having it on neutral grounds but if that arrangement wasn't represent in court and was in your custody order you may have some problems. You don't need to contact him but if he does call to pick up his kids on the day that he was assigned you will have to make arrangements to keep that visit. Best of luck , I know these situation can be hard.

by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:20 PM
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 if he has court ordered time he does not have to take it at your house and you dont really have any control of who he has around. he might not have demanded his time prior but you did nothing at the time so if you refuse his time depending on teh state he very well might be able to show up w the cops at your house and they would make you let him take them. they will in cali. cops do not care about your documentation but the court might consider it.

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:00 PM

Whatever your court order says is what you should be doing.  If you don't follow it, he can file for contempt.  I would be very careful about how controlling you are with his time if the order doesn't specify that he is to have supervised visits. Many judges do not like it when a woman is overly controlling with the father's time.  Ultimately, if you have joint custody, it is his choice how he spends his time with the kids and who is there when he does. 

I would also e-mail him instead of calling him so that you have proof of what is going on.  Keep it cordial and don't say anything you don't want read outloud in a courtroom.  If he is saying you are keeping the kids from him but not scheduling visits, e-mail him and say, "I just want to make sure you aren't going to take your visit tomorrow.  If you change your mind, please let me know."  That will prevent him from being able to charge you with contempt. 

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:16 PM
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Follow the court order. Unless the court order specifically says this new GF cannot be around the kids then you have no legal right to control that. I would do some digging on her though to make sure she is not a sex offender, a criminal, just got out of prison, etc.. Does the court order say visits have to be at your place? If he does not show for visits, document it and move on.

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:26 PM

You really can't do much about girlfriend. Unless she's a sex offender, your pretty much out of luck. But your not required to call him, your not his personal secretary. He's a big boy and can do this on his own. Wait at least an hour if no call from him then your pretty much free. If he calls cops let him. They usually can't do much for him most of the time. Be cool and just tell them he neither called you so you left you don't have to wait. Make sure you get police reports that way you have it documented that you waited and he did call you. Hopefully this happens enuff to get the judge to make him more responsible. Last of all some judges like involved dads so he might be able to get more visitations but not joint custody. They will look at who takes care of the child and if he/she is doing good then your fine. Judges don't like to take kids out of their routine. Keep a cool head and follow court order.

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