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Not following custody agreement. UPDATE

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What can be done if the other parent refuses to follow basic custody agreement terms, but demands that you do?

Here is my situation. My son is almost four and his father and I split up when he was four months old, divorce was finalized in 2010. Since then we have been in court several time because he keeps trying to take sole custody of my son, but the courts refuse to let this happen. He refuses to follow the basic information agreements in our order. Won't provide me with name and address of child care providers, when he take his to the doctor, he is also supposed to keep insurance for our son and twice in the past year and a half has cancelled his insurance and not even told me. He is also supposed to tell me when he get a new job, raise etc and in thesame time frame has changed jobs twice as well without telling me.

He demands that I provide him with child care info, dr name and when he has appointments, all of which I have always done. I also notify him if I change jobs and give him updated contact info for my job.

On top of all that he is telling my son that he is going to have a new mommy (his girlfriend) and goes around telling everyone that she is my sons mother. He also tells him that my youngest son is not his brother and that he spends to much time with me and that he need to come and live with daddy. There are injunctions on al of these things in our agreement but he continues to do this stuff.

I'm at my wits end and just don't know what to do anymore.


We just recently went to court and I had obtained another attorney because the first one did not do his job.
This is when I found out that he had not only changed jobs again but also cancelled our sons insurance. I have Medicaid for my son but at the time I get it I was under the impression that he still had the other insurance. Which could potentially cause problems for me so I have to talk to them about it. They also only gave me it for three months so by the end of march my son will be totally with our insurance again. My ex was informed at the hearing that he had to provide me with child care information etc but he has yet to do so.

I have read through all the replies and just want to thank you ladies for all the help. I am documenting EVERYTHING from here on out and am saving my pennies so that I can take him back to court in the near future on contempt charges. I am also looking to find my son a therapist to help work through some behavior issues stemming from all of this. Hopefully I can find one that would be willing to testify on my behalf. I will ask my attorney about getting a guardian ad litem assigned to our case for my so a sake.

Right now tho it is just a waiting game until I have enough proof and money to go back to court.

As to the not following court orders on my end, I know that that would be detrimental to my case so that is just not an option. I want to go in with clean hands, and my son does love his father so I don't want to jeopardize their relationship, even if he is a complete asshat.

Thanks for taking the time to respond it is greatly appreciated!
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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:53 PM
Replies (81-83):
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this

In the state I live in the parent that doesn't have custody has to have insurance benefits. My daughter father took her off his insurance but I fix him. i went to court anfd they made him him pay me for having her on my insurance at work. Keep your head up and focus on your sons. God will see you through.

by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 3:44 PM


by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:26 PM
Wow I think we might have the same ex lol this is my story exactly. I am so sorry for what you have to go thru. My son's father has to pay me $1700. a month so he keeps taking me back to court for frivolous lawsuits and says I'm violating order when it's him the entire time. Plus the new wife eggs him on to take me back to court. Definitely write down everything bcuz the judge does not want to hear anything, he only wants to see it on paper. Also make an incident report with police every time he violates court order. It can be done over the phone. Those are so valuable when you go back to court. Wishing you the best of luck.

Quoting BennyBaby09:

Our current agreement is 1,3,5 Friday to Tuesday and 2,4 Mondays over night. We split major holidays and I am primary custodian and have exclusive rights as far as dr, school etc go.

It has been brought up in court but nothing is ever done except for tell him to comply, which he doesn't. My lawyer has tried and still nothing is rig done. He thinks he can make demands and tell me what to do and does not have to follow the order himself.

They won't terminate his rights or anything unless he does something severe, neglect, abuse etc so that isn't even an option. It's just frustrating that he goes and cancels insurance, pays child support only if he feels like it and doesn't tell me anything. I'm trying to do the right thing and give him info and work with him on deciding thig for our son, even tho I don't have to and all he does is demand demand and belittle me.

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