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Supervised Visitation

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:45 PM
  • 7 Replies

Jan 19th, my daughter had to be picked up from her father's because he was too drunk to be supervising my daughter or his older two children.  He had gotten in a fight with his new girlfriend and sent the kids upstairs.  His oldest daughter (12) called her mother in tears.  She picked up my daughter for me since she didn't know what was going on or what to expect when she got there and my ex's new girl friend had physically attacked me the last time that I went to the house to pick up my daughter.  My daughter thought she had been bad and that was why they were sent home.  At 4 she just didn't understand what was going on.  She was very worried about her brother and sister crying and being scared.

My ex already was ordered by the court not to drink in front of his older children in June of 2011.  Since he obviously has completely disregarded that court order and with the events of last weekend (the 19th), I felt I was left with little option but to do something to protect my daughter.  I filed a petition with the court to set a hearing to restrict/supervise parenting time.  The restrictions I am requesting are:

1. No smoking (my daughter has asthma)
2. Transportation:  he needs to pick her up (I have until the beginning of this year provided all transportation)
3. His New girlfriend is not to be the only one caring for my daughter.  The new girlfriend has seizures - and doesnt have her license right now because of that.  I don't know anything else about them, but at 4 my daughter wouldn't know what to do.  Also, I dont want the new girlfriend to be there at transitions since she attacked me last time.
4. No alcohol consumption - obviously he doesn't need to drink around the kids based off of what happened during his last visitation.  and if he is drinking there is no one to drive the kids anywhere if there were an emergency.
5. Supervision - because i cant trust him to follow a court order and keep our daughter in a safe environment, i feel this is the best option.

Obviously i put more info in my petition.  A court date is set for a couple weeks from now.  In the order setting the date, it also states the visitation be supervised by an adult that i approve until the judge can rule on the parenting time issues.  So that means this weekend, my ex will have to find someone that I approve of to supervise his parenting time.  I am pretty sure that will make it impossible for overnights.  This is going to be hard on Adrianna because she loves seeing her dad and misses him....

The whole mess is stressful, but I feel like ultimately, I am doing what i need to do to protect my daughter - even though it is really hard.

I can't wait for things to settle down - between this and what is going on with the house, the next month or so is going to be crazy I know...

Does anyone have any experiences with supervised visitation?  how did it go?  was it short term, long term, permanent?  etc.

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:45 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Hotmessmom
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:13 PM
1 mom liked this

i dont have any experience with supervised visits BUT it is likely going to be done by a 3rd party. someone you approve of only may be biased toward you and may interfere. If you go to a 3rd party like a visitation center there will be a fee for this. You can ask that Dad pay the fee.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:08 AM
1 mom liked this
You can also ask that he piss test for alcohol after his visitations.
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ZakkarysMom
by Natasha on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Good job for putting your foot down and making sure your child is safe!! I hope things get better for you both.
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Kisses4you
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:59 AM

I have experience with supervised visits... Last year my daughters father attempted to wrap a belt around his neck and strangle himself in front of my 10 month old and I and then wouldnt allow me to leave the house i had to yell for my mom to come downstairs .. i called the cops and they arrested him i got a order of protection for the both of us and he was escorted out of our home and has not been back since (my daughter is now 16mos old)... I then immediatly filed for custody and c.s ... At our first court date the law guardian of our daughter agreed that supervised visits would be best and they ordered one hour once a week to be at this Family place that handles supervised visits (they only do this as a temp solution until we can agree on a perm plan) ...

Our current arrangement is that i have soul custody and we have agreed upon visitation... I request that it must be at a public place (however not in order, but we must agree and thats my  requirment) ... A public place makes me feel better being she is so young and cant tell me what is going on. So what i did was take her there (somewhere like the mall, play places things like that) and i would wait for them to be finished. 

He is taking me back to court for joint custody in Feb and i am going to be requesting that in the order it states at a public place and needs to be supervised and NOT by me which is what he wanted. A big hassle and annoyance with supervised visitation is who is supervising if two people can't agree. It can go on for sometime because no one wants to be responsible for paying a supervisor. He should have left it the way it was especially since he was getting a pretty good deal.. I allowed him to see his child anytime he wanted with 4 days notice, he rarely did that though...... So we will see how court plays out but seriously this court thing is scary and it's just stressful. But we are doing whats in the best interest of our children and thats how we have to think of it. Their fathers need to get their sh*t together or walk away... 

easinpc
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:28 AM

I've never experienced it before but here's a bump for you!

lydi
by Lydi on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:37 AM

 my ex had supervised visitation. the first time he was around he would come to my parents for a couple of hours to see her. the second time around i would bring her to his and his gf's house and i would stay there. he has not been around in years so i do not have current experience in this matter.  and no experience with going back to court to change parenting time. so i hope it goes well for you and dd. it is stressful but keep your head high.

victoriahearts
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:39 AM

Sorry no experience with visitations rights but I wish you the best of luck in court, you are definitely doing what is best for your daughter even if she feels sad and upset because she doesn't get to see her father.

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