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To define this relationship??

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:44 PM
  • 9 Replies

I met this guy last summer from a dating site, he happened to live on the same street as I did. Convenient right? Well we hit it off great. We started hanging out alot. Things at some point got physical. And even before that, I started getting feelings for him. I mean how can I not? He is cute, and he was basically the male version of me. Anyway I ended up for some reason giving my ex another chance and me and him stopped talking.

Well he got in touch with me shortly after my ex and I broke up again. We started hanging out. And all the feelings I had for him came rushing back again.We have been hanging out alot of the course of the last couple months... a few times where we were drinking and would end up just mking out or something silly.... Well the other night he texts me, and says "Do you want to go out for a platonic dinner?"   I felt like why emphasize that? But ok. So he picks me up, dressed so nicely. Tells me he is taking me to that restaurant I liked so much. We are waiting for our table at the bar..he mentions him being my best friend at some point during the convo...we sit at our table. We talk about what we are getting, he orders for me....Then at the end of an amazing dinner, he pays for the entire thing..I am thinking that we should of split the bill...anyway....WE went out after and were drinking. Well I got pretty tipsy, and Im pretty sure he was too...he brought me home and I asked him to come inside. And the the next thing I know we are having sex....he spends the night. The next morning he wakes up and cuddles with me, rubbing my back with his fingers..my arms..playing with my hair. we just talk in bed for a bit and then he went home....now, here we are a few days later and you can tell that he has slowed down on his talking to me...even though a few hours after he left, he did text me and told me he had fun lastnight...I am sooo afraid of bringing up anything about him and I dating, or anything else...because he seemed like he made it clear we were just friends...but did he really?? Am I just thinking to much into all this?? Mind you I havent dated a man in I would say 7 years. Its not like we are young and dumb...he is 33 I am 29. I just dont know what to think...any advice??

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:44 PM
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Replies (1-9):
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this

 just straight out ask him about it. and tell him what you are wanting.

if this does not work out, go into dating w more outlined expectations. going with the flow ends up being fwb too easily nowadays.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 2:44 PM

I think you are thinking too much into the relationship.  Don't pressure yourself at all.  Just go out again and if you think it's best to just talk then just talk.  Stay away from alcohol this time and keep a clear mind.  Maybe the guy thinks you guys are moving too fast.  He may want to slow things down a bit.  But, perhaps you can just talk to him and let him know how you feel. 

MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 2:51 PM
If you're too afraid to say anything then don't expect him to become your bf. speak now or forever hold your peace. If he doesn't want to date you after all and you don't want just an fwb then don't repeat this with the next guy you meet.
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:21 PM

 I agree with this.  Good luck!


Quoting faerie75:

 just straight out ask him about it. and tell him what you are wanting.

if this does not work out, go into dating w more outlined expectations. going with the flow ends up being fwb too easily nowadays.


 

victoriahearts
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:29 PM

I agree with the ladies, like you said your aren't kids, you are 29 and he is 33, it's about time you had a serious and straight forward conversation if you can't have it now while this is just starting , don't expect to be able to do it down the line. Just be honest with him and yourself it's always best to know where you stand.

Cenedra64
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:32 PM
Hon..we call the shots on dating. Be straight with him.
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mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:46 PM
1 mom liked this

He might be putting the brakes on since you guys had started a relationship before you got back with your ex. Talk to him and just kind of let him know that you do have feelings for him other than friendship. Don't put pressure on either of you guys. Just let him know you would be interested in seeing how this progresses.

Robsessed98
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:55 PM

I'd ask him what he's wanting - a friendship, fwb or gf. Tell him you're a little confused and need it defined. There's nothig wrong with that.

Tsmommy106
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:02 PM

 You were "with him" and then went back to your ex so he may think you just want to be friends. He may be trying to do what he thinks you want or trying not to pressure you into anything. You're not young so there's no reason to be shy. You can't sit around waiting. I'm also 29 and I feel like I'm not so young anymore to be sitting aorund and waiting for anything. It's time to take things into your own hands. If it's not what he wants and you do, at least you'll know and can move on to find something better. Good Luck!!! 

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