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Son in basic training - his gf said he was upset last weekend when he called

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:40 AM
  • 9 Replies

i haven't heard from my son in a few weeks by phone and i text his gf last night (he's 19 and has 2 weeks left) - she said she had talked to him and it didn't go so well.  he started crying.  and said that he wasn't sure if he wanted her to come to graduation.  i wonder why?  she said she didn't know either.  she has been wishy washy to me about going.  it's too far for her to drive herself i guess (she's 18) and prob. doesn't want to stay with me as long as i am for family day, etc. 

also, after he checks into AIT in same town (fort sill), i think he gets a weekend pass but he hasn't mentioned it so i haven't gotten a hotel for the weekend.  anyway, has anyone dealt with that at for sill? 

has anyone's soldier went in to basic all gung ho and then got homesick and sad towards the end of basic?  he was home for leave and just fought with his gf of a year offa nd on the whole time.  i didn't even get any quality time with him because of it.  and now he misses her and wants out.  omg. 

 

 

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:40 AM
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Replies (1-9):
victoriahearts
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:50 AM

I'm not sure my son isn't old enough for me to have this situation but I think eventually everyone gets home sick after being a way a few weeks and then add the stress of having to go through some very rough training it would make anyone ache to be home and take care of by their family.He is also son despite him being old enough to enroll in the military this is probably his first adult decision that he has made and will have to do by himself. Maybe you can send him a letter trying to cheer him on and maybe some special "treats" he enjoys, may make him feel a little better. 

Cenedra64
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:50 AM
Basic training is hard. Harder on some than others. The last two weeks are especially strenous. If you want you can contact red cross or the base chaplain. Theyll put you in contact. They are supposed to allow periodic calls home.
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steviechick
by Gold Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:11 AM
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I lived in Lawton (twice) just outside of Ft. Sill and my step-dad was stationed there (twice).  He was in the field artillery and retired there after 30 yrs of military service.  So, I know Ft. Sill well.  As far as  hotel, PM me and I can let you know the cheapest hotels in the area.  I'm sure there are a lot that have military discounts even for family members. 

Your son is only 19 and this is his first experience outside of home and on his own.  BT can be very physically strenuous as well as mentally challenging.  I think your son is experiencing homesickness, missing his gf, and questioning his pick of joining the military and making it a career.  I would see if your son would be interested in seeking the post chaplain for a sit-down discussion on his choice to be in the millitary.  He more than likely needs to assure himself the he did make the right decision for himself in joining the Armed Forces.  Your son will get a weekend pass after AIT.  He should use this time to spend with you to get things out in the open about his behavior.   Your son should be surrounded by the ones that love and care for him.  Congrats on his graduation!

MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:46 AM
I say regardless of him having a hard time stay out of his relationship with his gf. Let him work that out on his own. Be kind to her but put up some boundaries. He's very young so I wouldn't expect him to have a serious relationship anyway. If he does great if not great too. Let him get through life on his own decisions and just be there for him when he needs. Boys don't want mom handling everything when they are that age trying to gain independence.
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hazelnut830
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:07 AM

i totally agree.  he chose not to call me to be upset - so i won't butt in.  i am there for him.  just want him to have someone to talk to.  i'm sure he knows about the chaplain.  i can't make him talk and he would be so mad if i called for him.  i'm sure it is hard.  i just hope if i got a hotel room for the weekend, he wouldn't be down in the dumps if she didn't come.  that wouldn't be fun for me or my other son.  he gets so worked up over her. 

hazelnut830
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:10 AM

stevie chick - did you mean before AIT starts?  my son hasn't mentioned it so i don't want to have a hotel room and he doesn't want to stay there with us.  my mom lives an hour from there.  i wonder if we could stay with her?  i have gotten conflicting information.  his captain now said he should stay in the county but then i called his AIT place and the guy there said that he could go that far - it would be fine. 

jenn31
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:59 PM

Basic training is difficult. They play a lot of mind games with you. I would just leave it alone and stay out of it.

yezay
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:05 PM
He's in the military I'd let him deal with it and decide what he wants to do on his leave. It probably doesn't look good that his mom is calling for him.

Quoting hazelnut830:

stevie chick - did you mean before AIT starts?  my son hasn't mentioned it so i don't want to have a hotel room and he doesn't want to stay there with us.  my mom lives an hour from there.  i wonder if we could stay with her?  i have gotten conflicting information.  his captain now said he should stay in the county but then i called his AIT place and the guy there said that he could go that far - it would be fine. 

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hazelnut830
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:19 PM

he can't leave the county.  if i don't make hotel reservations he will have to sit in there.  nobody else will be there so i do have to deal with it if i care.  they don't give them th at many details obviously because he didn't even know he got a weekend pass or prob. thought everyone else would be gone already anyway.  he'll prob. be glad he can go stay at a nice hotel with a hot tub and pool to relax.  :)  i talked to a guy - emailed him (they have fb pages for most battalions) and he was really nice.  they won't go tell my son i emailed him about leave.  they, in fact, encourage family support. 

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