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should she just file for custody!!! wwud??

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so ive posted here b4 this is for my daughter .....her lawyer drew up an agreement for her ..and them to sign and he wnts to change alot like he wants 50 /50 and in there is says visittion hours for him no he wants both of them to have visitation bc its attacking him how does the mom have visitation when baby lives with herhe also had a drug and acohol background he goes to aa meetings so in there she put no drugs or acohl around baby he wants it to be directed to both of them bc its attacking him again  also hewants a 2 weekvactation w a 10 week oldthats ebf bc she gets a vataction bc there againg its attacking him after a 1yr she said she would reconsider no not good enough .....if she does file should she file for sole custody how likely is that possible ??i dont know anyone whos been through custody so im lost at helping her so i need advice please !!!!

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:50 PM
Replies (11-19):
sandie66
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:25 PM

 Sorry. If they get shared or if she is lucky enough to get full custody, he will pay child support.

And mediation in Florida is only for couples divorcing who have children. It is actually mandatory to do mediation before you can see a judge even if you know one or both of you will not agree to the agreement.

3grls1wildboy
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:42 PM

 we r in DE and this state is allll about the dad !! thats what worries me


Quoting sandie66:

 Sorry. If they get shared or if she is lucky enough to get full custody, he will pay child support.

And mediation in Florida is only for couples divorcing who have children. It is actually mandatory to do mediation before you can see a judge even if you know one or both of you will not agree to the agreement.


 

3grls1wildboy
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:03 AM

BUMP!

dawncs
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:13 PM

I recommend keeping a journal of all contact between your daughter and her ex about conversations with the baby including, date, time, and what happened. Always have at least one or two witnesses at least when he is around the baby proving contact and when. Each month, she should request a log of incoming and outgoing phone calls from the phone company showing how much contact and interest he has in the baby. I also recommend requesting urine and hair samples on a regular basis for drug testing based on his past history because he could relapse.

Dawn
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Diagnosed Asperger Syndrome as an adult
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victoriahearts
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:06 PM

I'm not sure how DE works either but I'm in NY, sole custody is not easy to get like stated above, the other has be declared unfit which is very difficult in most state, it will probably be easier to get primary custody with him having visitation rights, since the child is still so small but it's not a slaw dunk, her attorney and her daugther really need  to arm themselves with some proof of  his past or current behavior so they can influences what type of visitation he is granted by the judge. I honestly think she states a very good chance of getting primary custody giving that the ex is in AA and her child is so young, best of luck. 

sandie66
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:31 AM

 Wow. I am from DE. Been in Fl since 81.

Quoting 3grls1wildboy:

 we r in DE and this state is allll about the dad !! thats what worries me

 

Quoting sandie66:

 Sorry. If they get shared or if she is lucky enough to get full custody, he will pay child support.

And mediation in Florida is only for couples divorcing who have children. It is actually mandatory to do mediation before you can see a judge even if you know one or both of you will not agree to the agreement.

 

 

 

easinpc
by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:27 PM

 I agree with this.  Good luck!!


Quoting Robsessed98:

If he won't agree to sign it, then it's time to take him to court or a mediator and get it done. When he finds out how much it may cost him, he just might sign the agreement.


 

Kisses4you
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM

Here in NY there is physical and legal custody... I would highly recommend she doesn't sign anything and goes to court for FULL (or soul) physical custody with visitation for him. Due to substance issues playing a major factor in WHY she wants full... (does he also have any record) Does he have a set up for the child (own room, crib, car seat EVERYTHING he would need like she has)? ....How active of a role is he currently playing in the childs life (does he regulary feed her, change her, give her baths, know how to care for her when sick, know feeding schedules) .... She will most likley get full physical due to his past issues...

He will most likley get joint legal but she should get final decision making .... Pretty much just means that decisons on school, medical so on and so fourht will be made by both of them but if a agreement isnt reached she can make the final decision. 

I personally do not believe it is healthy for a child to be a week at one house and a week at another.. I don't see why the courts would think this is acceptable.. Even if i was the father and a good one i don't think that is providing any stability for children and its confusing... Yes with 50/50 no child support is usually paid... Has she already filed for child support that should be done immediatly... It's a seperate judge then custody.... If the child is currently living with her she needs to file... Hope this helps and keep us updated

3grls1wildboy
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:25 PM

 yes shes filed hes trying to get her to drop it

..shes not she wants full or soul custody he doesent his free lawyer freind called her up on sat and really cussed her out for not going along with 50 /50
and said if she dont sign agreement he will sue her and fine her out the assand make her pay for every fee that occures and the dad none <.. what he said bc he has every right she has in state of de even thogh hes not on bc and hasent had paternity ....its going to be a long fight

Quoting Kisses4you:

Here in NY there is physical and legal custody... I would highly recommend she doesn't sign anything and goes to court for FULL (or soul) physical custody with visitation for him. Due to substance issues playing a major factor in WHY she wants full... (does he also have any record) Does he have a set up for the child (own room, crib, car seat EVERYTHING he would need like she has)? ....How active of a role is he currently playing in the childs life (does he regulary feed her, change her, give her baths, know how to care for her when sick, know feeding schedules) .... She will most likley get full physical due to his past issues...

He will most likley get joint legal but she should get final decision making .... Pretty much just means that decisons on school, medical so on and so fourht will be made by both of them but if a agreement isnt reached she can make the final decision. 

I personally do not believe it is healthy for a child to be a week at one house and a week at another.. I don't see why the courts would think this is acceptable.. Even if i was the father and a good one i don't think that is providing any stability for children and its confusing... Yes with 50/50 no child support is usually paid... Has she already filed for child support that should be done immediatly... It's a seperate judge then custody.... If the child is currently living with her she needs to file... Hope this helps and keep us updated


 

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