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Tough moment, just want to share

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So, my son asked me to teach him how to tie a tie - over an our ago, and I got SO stressed out about it. My son is 12 and he's him. Good kid - no complaints. It's me. I get so impatient with him sometimes when I am showing him something. He is good at computerized stuff, but anything with coordination, it's going to be a while.

I want to stop smoking weed, for many reasons, but I was so tempted to go light up a joint because I felt myself about to pop. I didn't yell at him too bad but bad enought that I felt horrible. Part of me just wanted to walk away and tell him to figure it out for himself, the other part of me wanted to just do it and not take the time to teach him. But I knew both options were not beneficial, so I sat there, showed him, then walked away to let him figure it out for himself. I walked out to my car, right to light it up, but I didn't. I just went outside and walked back into the house.

I apologized to my son. I started to make excuses but just apologized. I really didn't mean to yell at him and make an experience that should be good a stressful one.

I just want to cry. Sometimes, I think it's too much. My son is good. Even if he wasn't, I still want to be in it. But sometimes, I feel like I need that help. God is with me...I just needed to vent

Oh, he learned to tie the tie :-)

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:33 PM
Replies (11-18):
RaevynEvermore
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Can I just say the replies on this post is what I love about this group. You ladies are so supportive even if it comes to an issue that is frowned upon by a lot of people

:)

I smoked for the first time the other day in 2 months. Its hard to find the alone time as a single mother

ChgIsGood2012
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Yep, I've had some tough months emotionally, and sometimes I post here and get some good responses. Everyone won't agree with my choices, but I have received some encouragement AND loving correction where I needed it. Being a parent is a challenge, and we know we aren't alone, but sometimes we need to just talk or for someone to give us some insight so we are given just a little more strength to keep going.

Lord, give me the strength to overcome. And He's faithful :-)

 

ChgIsGood2012
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:59 PM

 


Quoting RaevynEvermore:

Can I just say the replies on this post is what I love about this group. You ladies are so supportive even if it comes to an issue that is frowned upon by a lot of people

:)

I smoked for the first time the other day in 2 months. Its hard to find the alone time as a single mother

Just wondering, since it had been 2 months, did you feel like it was worth it?

 

RaevynEvermore
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 12:06 AM

It was only enough to give me a slight buzz, it was so nice to just be able to relax like that and an hour later be back to my normal self

So yeah, I'd say it was worth it


Quoting ChgIsGood2012:



Quoting RaevynEvermore:

Can I just say the replies on this post is what I love about this group. You ladies are so supportive even if it comes to an issue that is frowned upon by a lot of people

:)

I smoked for the first time the other day in 2 months. Its hard to find the alone time as a single mother

Just wondering, since it had been 2 months, did you feel like it was worth it?




LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:05 AM
1 mom liked this
That's great you were able to stop take a break and not smoke. Finding another coping skill is great. Maybe for something like that you could pull out a YouTube video and let it do the teaching but sit with him and "figure it out" together
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Patty24momof5
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:36 AM

 exactly.I dont smoke and wouldnt but wont bash others for doing it.I LOVE THIS GROUP TOO!JUST JOINED! I have started to smoke cigarettes if others offer them to me because I can't afford them in my budget but I need to quit and can't because of all my (wish I could say ex,but husband.) I started a little over a year ago when all this stress began.

GOTTA GIVE YOU PROPS FOR NOT SMOKING!!!

 

Quoting RaevynEvermore:

Can I just say the replies on this post is what I love about this group. You ladies are so supportive even if it comes to an issue that is frowned upon by a lot of people

:)

I smoked for the first time the other day in 2 months. Its hard to find the alone time as a single mother

 

 

Mama_Gillogley
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:47 AM

yes it is NOT easy to quit, but at least with weed it is mind over matter.

Have you ever done yoga? i love yoga because it helps me calm down. :) problem is finding the time and privacy to do it! I have ptsd and thought i could use that as an excuse to smoke, but seeing your posts and the other moms posts and knowing that it's really just a crutch and holding me back, i've got to quit AGAIN. argh. it sucks because i've stopped numerous times and each time is more difficult than the time before. last time when i quit i couldn't sleep for 3 nights straight even with other sleep aids. man was that miserable.

I quit smoking cigarettes last summer and NOTHING was that difficult, so I know I can do this if I just put my mind to it. :) I also have to find a HEALTHY outlet to relieve the stressors of every day life.

what outlets have you found?

Quoting ChgIsGood2012:



Quoting Mama_Gillogley:

i too am having a difficult time with weed- same context. you know that there are new studies showing that weed CAUSES panic attacks? i'm into medical stuff and on the surface weed is relatively harmless, but i think it is very mentally addictive especially when you are freaking out and know that it will calm you down. i've quit hundreds of times, and weed helped me to stop smoking cigarettes which are much more harmful to your body. so, just know that you are not alone in wanting to smoke when you get frustrated with your kid. hell, my siblings BEG ME to smoke because of my ptsd/anxiety/weed dependency, i get super worked up. have you tried concentrated breathing when you get anxious like that? it helps me sometimes to just get alone and focus on my breathing. *hugs* your post made me feel like i'm not alone, so thanks. :)

Hey Mama_Gillogley :-),

 *hugs*Thank you for your post. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in this, but I know I'm not, well because I'm human and many of us face the same temptations. But when someone else comes and tell me that they ave been there, then I know help is possible.

The night that I wrote the OP, going outside helped a lot. And I just kept breathing in and out until I felt calm. So I'm just going to keep finding healthier ways to deal with stress because as long as I live, stress will come, and I want to be able to overcome it in a healthy any that is also pleasing to my soul :-)

So cool that you mentioned weed causes panic attacks..yes! And I believe it. I read up on it too. I know when I would smoke, intially, I felt good. Then after some time, I felt like I was trippn out. But the addiction comes from the idea of that intial feeling being so good that the panic would be irrelevant.




ChgIsGood2012
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:22 PM

 


Quoting Mama_Gillogley:

yes it is NOT easy to quit, but at least with weed it is mind over matter.

Have you ever done yoga? i love yoga because it helps me calm down. :) problem is finding the time and privacy to do it! I have ptsd and thought i could use that as an excuse to smoke, but seeing your posts and the other moms posts and knowing that it's really just a crutch and holding me back, i've got to quit AGAIN. argh. it sucks because i've stopped numerous times and each time is more difficult than the time before. last time when i quit i couldn't sleep for 3 nights straight even with other sleep aids. man was that miserable.

I quit smoking cigarettes last summer and NOTHING was that difficult, so I know I can do this if I just put my mind to it. :) I also have to find a HEALTHY outlet to relieve the stressors of every day life.

what outlets have you found?

I've done a little yoga, but not consistently; I actually like it and ironically enough was thinking of ways earlier today that I can reduce stress/keep mental balance. But one thing that I have been doing and helps a lot is walking. I am at my day job 10 hrs+/day, so I walk as often as I can on my breaks and lunch. There is a nice park nearby, so getting away from the office building and just seeing the scenery or having my talks with God is a beautiful thing that helps me rebalance. A lot of times when I'm stressed or anxious, overwhelmed, I realized that I need to be moving.

Oh, another outlet that I realized helps me a lot (and I should be doing more of) is art. I took an art class last year, and when I zone out, I think about nothing but the art and the creation that is being born. It's really cool. I also like to crochet. I haven't done that in a while neither, but that helps with the anxiety.

So basically, anything that keeps your hands busy or your body moving...that is healthy to the well being :-)

 

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