Quick recap of the last decade of my life:
Married for 30 years, dude starting drinking heavily when pregnant with my fourth 11 years ago and my life has spiraled downward ever since. I have been going through a two year divorce process, had the proceeds from the house I was forced to sell decimated by attorneys and the monstrous Divorce Machine, as well as having to be the sole payer of my kids' living expenses because my not quite yet ex is a sociopathic addict who is leading the judge, the attorneys and me and my kids around by our noses.
I am now utterly destitute, no interim support payments have been put in place and am now facing homelessness. I have to keep the heat on 55 degrees and am considering lowering it because the $700 in heating assistance (which I am extremely grateful for, btw) filled only a 1/4 tank and its been COLD outside.
The thing is, as grateful for it as I was at the time (although by the fourth child it was admittedly wearing a bit thin), I made the mistake of staying at home with my kids. My plan was to go back to work when my youngest was in school full time. My ex was drinking heavily, the kids couldn't be left home alone with him and I needed a job with flexible hours so I got my real estate license. I knew it would be hard but I didn't have the time I thought I would have to build my business because circumstances necessitated having to file for a divorce. So...I left real estate and have been floundering ever since.
I have been slapped by the reality of a really mean job market, especially for a 52 year old woman who has a huge gap in work history. Ageism exist but beyond that, employers have so many well qualified people to choose from that I can't even begin to compete. I don't have a particular career focus- I held a variety of very different jobs before having children- and although I have relevant computer skills, I am a hard worker, highly motivated, eager to learn and all that good stuff- my resume just doesn't cut it.
Because of this, I made a rap. This was out of sheer desperation. I don't know why I got this idea- I don't particularly enjoy rap and I am not a natural born performer (which is painfully obvious if you watch this video, lol) but I have been told over and over again that getting a job these days is about who you know so this idea popped into my brain, took hold and wouldn't let go, much to the horror of several of my children. For several weeks, the response exceeded my expectations- over 800 views, all positive. Then it was found, held up for ridicule at some of the sites that exist for this purpose, and tainted. Video game addicted young men who inhabit these sites are not exactly the demographic I am looking for and they made it very clear with Thumbs Down and their articulate (sarcasm) commentary. Please let me know what YOU, the people who may have some inkling of what I am going through, think: