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Child support/ medical issue

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:32 PM
  • 13 Replies

Okay so my ex boyfriend and I have twin 16 month old daughters. We have been in court for a year now, and so far all we have is temporary visitation/custody set up. He gets them once a week for six hours supervised. I have full temporary custody. 

My first question, we are about to go to mediation and i am extremely nervous, i want full custody, do you think it would change drastically from what we have if we have to go to court?

Second, we have child support set up. 518 dollars a month (he says he pays more, but my papers, and what i receive, is 518). He claims he pays 80 dollars a month to the state because our kids have been on medicaid. Well recently, because I didn't get a paper sent in on time, they got closed off of medicaid. ( I have already talked to them and we are working on getting it started again) However, yesterday they had to have a minor surgery. I figured I would just be broke for a long time and make payments, I was not even planning on bringing any of it up to him until they needed a prescription after surgery that was 200.00. I was completely broke and I went to him and asked him if he could help out. He agreed, but threw a fit, demanded I called child support and have it wrote off. I did not tell him I wouldn't do this, but he then told me he could take me to court and get me in trouble for having him pay this, because it is not his responsibility and thats what his child support is for. This is the one and only time I have ever turned to him for additional help, ever. Is this going to look bad on me for custody or anything? He also says he is going to begin covering our children under insurance through his job soon, and he says that because he is doing this I will be 100 percent responsible for all of the deductibles and what not? True or not? 

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lovelyhope92
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:35 PM

In addition, one of the biggest reasons I am completely broke for the first time ever is that we recently made an effort to start our relationship back up, he practically moved in with me, asked me to borrow money for his car, i paid for food, everything, constantly .He drained me and I didn't say a word about it. The relationship ended because i found a text message on his friend saying he was using me and i finally figured it out......i know this could never hold up in court but :( I just dont want to get in trouble because i asked for help for the first time ever in 16 months or have it change custody in any way 

mhaney03
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:36 PM
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None of this is up to him, he's blowing smoke out his ass.

and no, you can't get in trouble for asking him to pay for meds.

Jennyanne322
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:38 PM
Most of the time you have to split medical costs 50/50 with the father, on top of the child support. Make sure to have receipts.
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LauraMH
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:49 PM

Keep all receipts that you have paid but most the time it is to be covered 50% by both parties. Don't listen to what he is telling you, jst make sure it is in your finally CO.

Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:28 PM

I guess I am wondering why you are going to sole custody? You do realize righjt that if you give him joint..that means joint legal..not joint parenting..he likely will be more involved and the fights will probably stop. Me and my ex are wonderfully civil. You have a long time of fighting with him. I dont know what state you are in but where I am in AZ they just passed a joint custody law Jan 1. Its not given in all cases but you have to prove its in the kids best interest. Out of pocket medical is 50/50 usually. Having twins is very expnsive. Ho are you going to afford extra curricular? That is likely going to be on you, again if you feel like the Dad has a little say in things, he may help out more.

lovelyhope92
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:51 PM
Im going for sole bc he is irresponsible and incaoable of caring for them for long. He wasnt in their lives for much of the beginning has anger problems and issues with staying out of trouble and making good choices. We were both teenagers when we had them and he has yet to grow up enough for them. Responsibility has alwayd fully been on me and as I said besides child support I have always paid for everything on my own without help. He doesnt have a stable place to live and drives on a suspended license. This is the reason he only has supervised visits right now. Even if I wanted to let him take them more often or make more choices, he wouldnt be able to.
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BennyBaby09
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:48 PM
This is unfortunately usually the exception, not the rule. My ex and I have joint custody and he will not pay for anything except child support and even then he only pays when he feels like it. He expects me to pay for everything, and won't even get him insurance even though it is court ordered that he do so. I'm glad that you and your ex get along and he helps out, but it seems to me most men that are not with their child's mother will only do what is ordered, and even then a lot don't even do that much.


Quoting Oliviasmom72:

I guess I am wondering why you are going to sole custody? You do realize righjt that if you give him joint..that means joint legal..not joint parenting..he likely will be more involved and the fights will probably stop. Me and my ex are wonderfully civil. You have a long time of fighting with him. I dont know what state you are in but where I am in AZ they just passed a joint custody law Jan 1. Its not given in all cases but you have to prove its in the kids best interest. Out of pocket medical is 50/50 usually. Having twins is very expnsive. Ho are you going to afford extra curricular? That is likely going to be on you, again if you feel like the Dad has a little say in things, he may help out more.


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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:09 AM
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Keep the receipts Medicade will reemburse
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lnk8522
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:04 AM
Medicaid will usually go back 2 or 3 months from the time of application and cover what happaned.

If he agreed to pay for it,he can't get you in trouble for it,that's on him.


Quoting LifeCafe42:

Keep the receipts Medicade will reemburse
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s.osborne
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:03 AM
This. And you won't be responsible for everything under HIS insurance. HE will be responsible.

Quoting mhaney03:

None of this is up to him, he's blowing smoke out his ass.


and no, you can't get in trouble for asking him to pay for meds.

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