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Single Moms Single Moms

Does this make me a horrible person??

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:02 PM
  • 19 Replies
That I feel like I can't be happy for any one. A couple months ago the day before me and my EX broke up my cousin told me she was expecting her first child. I should have been happy for them but while her life I was perfect mine was getting ready to unravel and be come a complete mess. I work my butt off for my kids we have our own apartment and I am a full time single mom to them while there dad has walked out of their life for his new girlfriend of 2 weeks. I was just talking to a good friend of mine and she told me her BF just purposed to her. I think its awesom but still can't bring my self to be happy for them. I feel like I have so much love to give and so much to offer but have no one to give it to. Obviously everything is still fresh and I'm not looking for anyone to fill the emptyness I feel. I wish I had friends guys or girls just to hang out with and talk to. I do feel horrible that I can't be happy for anyone else. I feel like everyones life around me is moving forward while mine is standing still. Any advice without bashing would be great thanks
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tyfry7496
by Janet on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:17 PM
2 moms liked this
You will never be happy with anyone or in any situation until YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. Stop looking at what others have and be happy with what you have. The grass isn't always greener.
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jenking04
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:24 PM
I am extremly happy with what I have. I got out of a bad situation got my own apartment have a job and have my kids with me everyday. But the lonlyness of being alone gets hard at times. Sometimes harder then others.


Quoting tyfry7496:

You will never be happy with anyone or in any situation until YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. Stop looking at what others have and be happy with what you have. The grass isn't always greener.

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s.osborne
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:59 PM
I just fake the being happy for everyone and don't give a shit
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JG1-4
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:00 PM
2 moms liked this
Once you are able to forgive him and not linger in the past, life will get easier. Feeling alone is a choice... Make a choice to find a new friend. Get involved in a single's group at a church...? Anything will help you, I promise!
I divorced my ex and have 4 kids with him. The month after our divorce, my mom died suddenly- and she was my only family-- besides my kiddos and my exhusband. Alone? Absolutely. But by the grace of God, I have made it. YOU too will make it. One day at a time! Best wishes!!!
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:19 AM
It'll get easier as time goes on you made the right choice to get out
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scarlita88
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:41 AM

 i had my son at 27 weeks and ended up leaving my hairdressing career and clientele to take care of my boy. about the time i could finally have put him in daycare and gone back my mom had a stroke . my son and i move in with her to help. last year, he started kindergarten and i again started to feel like i could go to work. mom had two more strokes in oct and nov. so believe me when i tell you that i completely understand. on occasion i get really mad at everybody doing life things... like regular stuff. it hits me like a ton of bricks that they are moving in a new or another direction and here i sit. and i am not one for being bored or lonely but when all of your friends and family keep doing their thing while you are barely keeping your head above water it feels soooo bad. and yeah. all alone. it seems like nothing will ever be different. but there is a whisper of light at the end of the tunnel. you mention having so much love to give? because you have that eventually it will be noticed by somebody and boom. no more lonely. until then totally fake it.  with your family? fake it. friends? fake it. promise. one day it wont be fake . you really will be happy for someone again sincerely happy. because you put good out into the world it will come flooding back. but also... if for right now you just cant. give yourself room to feel that too. mourn what you have lost. be sad. feel sorry for yourself even. for a specific amount of time. but not forever. and then pick yourself up by your bootstraps, dust yourself off. and shake it ....you will see. promise.

Patty24momof5
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:05 AM

MY MOM KEEPS SAYING "YOU DONT NEED MR.RIGHT PATTY,IT'S OK TO HAVE MR.RIGHT NOW,LMBO!!!" SHE CRACKS ME UP! BUT I THINK HER POINT IS SO I WONT BE SOO LONELY.I JUST DONT HAVE TIME,PATIENCE OR EVEN THE WANT TO FOR LACK OF MORE STRESS,LOL!!!

YOU'RE NOT HORRIBLE AT ALL!

mytrueloveS
by Lori on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:12 AM

I know that feeling, but it gets easier with time.   Being single is not bad at all; I think it's even better.   

jenking04
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:16 AM
I think what's hard for me is my EX has already moved on and he has knowen this girl for 3 weeks and they are already moving in together. Then there's the fact that he has made the choice to not see my kids. Its been 2 weeks since he last saw my kids because he has put her first so my kids are hurt and feel like something is wrong with them. I don't feel sad about our break up cause I was so over all the lies and cheating I was releived when it all ended. I have my kids that's all I need and I refuse to rush into another relationship. If I'm meant to find love again then it will find me and hopefully sweep me off my feet and be 100 times better than my 10 year relationship with my EX.
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Lia678
by Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 10:18 AM

Try and remember that you were once going through what they are going through now.  At that time they may have been alone.  Everyone has their moment of happiness.  You are just not going through it at the same time.  A lot can happen in a year.  Your time will come again.  In the meantime, rember what you have accomplished.  You are on your own, raising a family.  That is amazing!  Sending good wishes your way...

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