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Custody Issues...NEED ADVICE!!

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My daughters father and i broke up right before christmas in 2012.  He came and picked her up for three days right after christmas, i found out that he was buying drugs with my daughter in the car, and he admitted it to me on a facebook message.  He hasnt seen her since.  I told him he could not come take her because of the drugs, and that he could either come to my house or we could meet in a mutual place so he could spend time with her.  He will not accecpt either on of those.  He hasnt given me any type of support for her and only texts me every couple of weeks.  I want to go get full costudy and child support but im scared that they will give him something and i don't want my daughter in that kind of enviornment.  I don't know what to do!

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:59 PM
Replies (31-37):
sarahsmami
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 1:53 PM

hello. im the new kid on the block.lol. i have to say that last one read like a nightmare. im so sry to hear  of your horrid situation.  I lost my daughter a yr and 8 mos ago due to acohol abuse but have remained sober since.  Meetings. IOP program, counceling.  Her father had gone behind my back and obtained primary custody of my daughter and his sister. residential.  All this time has gone by and they have made it impossible to even visit my child anymore. Dyfs wa involved but they dismissed the case a yr ago and deemed it unfounded that im an unfit mother.  They have no intention on returning my daughter to me ever.  What steps would I take even after all the changes I've made in my life to better my own and my daughters to assure her return home?

sarahsmami
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 1:55 PM

...by they have no intention, im referring to my exes family.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 3:19 PM

I hope you were able to get this figured out!

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 4:20 PM

 its a trade off. if you want his money you are going to have to let him see her. who knows, he may just not bother. the choice is yours.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 4:22 PM

 my SO's ex cried to the court he was a drunk, and he has a documented drug history on his old rap sheet and he still got joint custody. he followed through on it though. a lot of men dont bother.

Quoting s.osborne:

I'm sure if you mention the drugs he won't have a very fighting chance

 

 
        
         

bzpdxmom
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 5:58 PM

Unfortunately, financial support and visitation are completely separate and not contingent upon one another.  Go get a good support order in place.  As for visitation, if you mention the drugs, a judge will likely not allow unsupervised visitation with the kids.  If you get to an attorney first and request it of the judge, it will likely be granted.  Better to do it now, while he is using, than later when he may clean himself up and appear better to the courts.  I'm assuming he has a record?  That would probably give you the proof that you need to at least prevent overnight visits and minimal day visits.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 6:03 PM
See, this all depends on the state. In mine, custody has everything to do w support amount. Support is based on each parents income and how much time each parent has the kid. And having a rap sheet doesn't mean much here. If the non custodial parent is continuing that lifestyle or does not follow through, maybe but mom just SAYING he is on drugs or a drunk is looked at as he said she said unless there is legal proof. Even then, the supposedly using or drinking parent is usually ordered to classes and may have to test after visits but will still get time.

Quoting bzpdxmom:

Unfortunately, financial support and visitation are completely separate and not contingent upon one another.  Go get a good support order in place.  As for visitation, if you mention the drugs, a judge will likely not allow unsupervised visitation with the kids.  If you get to an attorney first and request it of the judge, it will likely be granted.  Better to do it now, while he is using, than later when he may clean himself up and appear better to the courts.  I'm assuming he has a record?  That would probably give you the proof that you need to at least prevent overnight visits and minimal day visits.

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