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Am I asking too much?

Posted by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:41 PM
  • 11 Replies

My DD is going to be 4 and starting pre school in the fall. I have started at looking at the pre schools in the area and meeting with them to decide which one I think would fit her best. I have physical custody and my ex and I have joint legal, I have kept him informed of all of the meetings and the schools I have been looking at and he seems to have no input. "Which everone I think is best"... Same with gymnastics, she wants to do it so I setup a time for her to go with one of her little friends to thier class, it's on his time and he tells me to let him know how it goes....

 

Is it too much to ask for him to be an active role with the major decisions coming up in her life? He's great when it comes to seeing her and spending time with her... But shouldn't he care about these things as well?

by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KPBMom
by Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:56 PM

My ex never cared about that stuff even when we were together.  Be grateful that he's not trying to dictate where she goes and what she does!

abundance1
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 4:13 PM
1 mom liked this

as a mom who splits custody 50/50, 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off and has to co-parent COMPLETELY with the asshole who left us, THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS!!!!!!  Sometimes it is much much better to do it on your own!!!!!

themomthenurse
by Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 6:01 PM

Your custody agreement sounds like a nightmare...


Quoting abundance1:

as a mom who splits custody 50/50, 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off and has to co-parent COMPLETELY with the asshole who left us, THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS!!!!!!  Sometimes it is much much better to do it on your own!!!!!



tyfry7496
by Janet on Feb. 3, 2013 at 6:04 PM
Maybe he's not interested because he knows you are making the best decisions and is ok with them. Preschool and gymnastics are not major life decisions.
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MsGrayciesMommy
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 6:04 PM
I think its a guy thing. As long as he's playing an active roll in your daughters life at all I def wouldn't sweat the small stuff. Typically guys arent into details. Not that they dont care, but more bc they dont understand the importance to us as mothers.
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MommysTimeOut5
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 6:05 PM

Well most fathers are not involved in things like that. It really does not matter to them like it does us involved mommies. If he is active in her life then that is wonderful but I would not bet on him being involved with her education right now because he sees it as just daycare and not the foundation for her schooling. 

amantonacci
by Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 6:10 PM

 

Your right, there not huge decisions. I guess I want his input because they happen on his time as well as mine. Gymnastics is Tuesday evenings and he gets tuesday thursday evenings and every other weekend. And pre school the 1 I really like requires us to come up with 10 volunteer hours a month in the class room, so he'll need to help out with that as his work hours are more flexible than mine.

Quoting tyfry7496:

Maybe he's not interested because he knows you are making the best decisions and is ok with them. Preschool and gymnastics are not major life decisions.


 

LilShamrock
by Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 6:26 PM
Be thankful you are the holder of the reins! You know what's best for your child and that's all that matters....
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sunshine389142
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 6:50 PM

I would be glad that he isn't fighting you about things like that.  i honestly would have made arrangments for the gymnastics not to be on his time so that if he didn't want to take her, he wouldn't have to and he wouldn't lose his time with her. 

I understand you want him to be involved but that is not something you can really do anything about.  so i wouldn't try to worry too much.  i would just keep him up on when events are so that he is aware and the only excuse he has for not being present is on him...

I didn't really give my ex the option to pick her preschool, i  just told him that i was using the same one i picked for his son (when we were together, he has two kids from a divorce that are older, i took care of his first time kids and made a lot of decisions....including which preschool his son went to).  And I just gave him the information on what elementary school our dd will be going to in the fall and all of the dates for information sessions and round up.  I tell him when field trips are and special events at preschool and daycare and when she was in dance her recitals.  the only thing he went to was her first recital.  he didn't go to her spring recital at all....i have no idea why.  i can't make him be involved even though i know it would mean so much to our daughter.

Just be appreciative of what you have and what he does...try not to let little things bug you.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:34 PM

My ex leaves all that stuff up to me to take care of and then he just wants me to tell him the details lol. 

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