How to deal with this....

[ShutterFreak03]

My oldest son is 7 & latley hea been makin alot of "why,at dads house..." He says Im too strict and thay dad is funner bc he takes them out to eat & to chuck e cheese. Sigh.....idk how to handle all this comparing!

[sunshine389142]

I would just do your best to be consistent.  I would explain that you have rules and expectations for him because you love him and want him to be safe.  maybe explain why he can or cant do certian things with you...like if its about eating out...tell him that it is healthier to eat at home regularly and you want him to grow up big and strong.  and that you like to eat out as a special treat or something.  I would try to remember that you are doing everything you can to be best mom to him....that you are there day in and day out taking care of him in more ways than going to chuck e cheese.  When he says that his dad's is fun, tell him you are glad that he has fun with his dad.  Maybe try to think about some fun things that you two can do together - that are within your finances....maybe ask him some things that are fun to do or things he would like to do and see if there is anyway to periodically do some of the special things.

I know its hard when they start comparing and its hard to keep your cool and remember that you want them to have a good relationship with the other parent.  however, the better you do at letting them know that you want that and are glad they have fun and all of that, i think it helps. 

hopefully others have some other advice too.  good luck!!

[ShutterFreak03]

Yea thanks. We do go to fun, places everytime I get paid, but at dads house theres no homework time or reading.....they dont have a bedtime sigh.....ive talked to my ex & he says he will set rules but nothing yet

Quoting sunshine389142:

I would just do your best to be consistent.  I would explain that you have rules and expectations for him because you love him and want him to be safe.  maybe explain why he can or cant do certian things with you...like if its about eating out...tell him that it is healthier to eat at home regularly and you want him to grow up big and strong.  and that you like to eat out as a special treat or something.  I would try to remember that you are doing everything you can to be best mom to him....that you are there day in and day out taking care of him in more ways than going to chuck e cheese.  When he says that his dad's is fun, tell him you are glad that he has fun with his dad.  Maybe try to think about some fun things that you two can do together - that are within your finances....maybe ask him some things that are fun to do or things he would like to do and see if there is anyway to periodically do some of the special things.

I know its hard when they start comparing and its hard to keep your cool and remember that you want them to have a good relationship with the other parent.  however, the better you do at letting them know that you want that and are glad they have fun and all of that, i think it helps. 

hopefully others have some other advice too.  good luck!!

[stillstandin246]

Dads are often the fun house where there's no respomsibility and they can eat whatever they want. Explain to your son that what happens at his dads house is just that, his dads house. And this is your house, you do things differently. Be consistent and reliable and your son will figure it out for himself and likely it will just become second nature to him.

[HyperMom38]

Hmm, my DD just played this game at Christmas...  Daddy got me this, I have this at Grammy's house, etc.  Turns out they got her NOTHING and she was trying to make herself feel better about them by bragging on all the stuff they "got" her.  I finally called her on it and she admitted that it was just a story she made up.  Maybe things aren't all rosey at Dad's house after all.