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ex issues with custody agreement !!!!

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so ive posted alotb4 he wont sign agreement bc he wants 50 /50 custody anyway his aa counselor is a lawyer and called my daughter up sat morn cussing her out saying he will take her to court and make her pay alll expenses.. said he will make sure of that if  she dont sign ths 50 50 agreement bc he has every right she has ...it was brutal on her cussing the way he did scaring her ..then ex calls and says in taking u to court mind u theve been cordial to each other ..then  he called her today and said he want to be civil and not go to court just let him have her 2 evenings a week and every other weekend for couple hours and not sing nothing ..hes such a flip flopper she dont know what to do she wanted it this way so i would stay out of court but i need some kind of agreement dont u ???

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:30 PM
Replies (31-40):
Kisses4you
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:28 AM

Tell her to go down to the court house and file for custody...Its just paperwork that she files out and hands it back in.. They will mail her a copy and another copy that she will serve him with. She can get a lawyer at this time and he can then probably have him served. 

If there is no paternity established as of yet then she currently has soul custody of child until paternity is established so he can not take child and not give child back. 


The person who called might not even be a real lawyer but a freud someone to scare her with... Make sure she is documenting everything for court

Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:34 AM

 Well, first I wouldn't take any value in what he says about whether he is taking her to court or not...filing first might be to your daughter's advantage.

Putting that aside, if you decide not to go to court now, the problem is that he doesn't have to return the baby to your daughter.  In MOST states, if the man is on the birth certificate, and there is no custody order in place, then he does not have to retun the baby to the mom.  I wouldn't feel safe handing the baby over at all. 

Quoting 3grls1wildboy:

 

ok so they talked last night he said still wont sign papers but told her hes not spending the money to take her to court so should she let it go fo awile bc she has baby y would she have to file for custody and pay??

Quoting Ridingsolo:

Um...that's not how a lawyer should act.  Is he an alcoholic as well?  Makes no sense. 

I'd be concerned letting him near the baby at all if there is no custody agreement in place.  He technically doesn't have to give the baby back.

I would go to court to deal with this.  Don't deal with him or his quack lawyer friend directly anymore.  He's proven to be unstable.

 

 


 

mandyjschmidt
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:56 AM
U DEFINITELY need a formal agreement or things like that will continue to happen. Every time she does something he doesn't like, he will threaten to take her back to court. It's better to have an agreement that way the boundaries are very clear!!
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victoriahearts
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:37 AM

Agree with the ladies that attorney was totally out of the line and she should report him, also the next time either of them calls her, I would  record it as proof because it's illegal for an attorney to threat her or intimidate her that way. And honestly I think the ex is calling now because he is realizing that he screwed up and taking your daughter to court would be a huge mistake for him, I think she should speak to her attorney and decide what she think it's fair to her and her child and go from there. 

3grls1wildboy
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:47 AM

 se we are so confused her lawyer said let him file and pay she asked will it hurt her for not filing 1st she said no ur going to write ur response back so she will be able to answer y she wants what she wants ..and hes not on bc but as of rt now she said he can see her here at our house to be safe ...they had a temporary 1 b4 lawyer has hers drawn up and was noterized baby came bac clean diaper changed and he would text her when he fed her when she was asleep ..but he even said last night he wants 50 50 so he dosent have to pay cs even thogh he only wants her a couple hours a week


Quoting Ridingsolo:

 Well, first I wouldn't take any value in what he says about whether he is taking her to court or not...filing first might be to your daughter's advantage.

Putting that aside, if you decide not to go to court now, the problem is that he doesn't have to return the baby to your daughter.  In MOST states, if the man is on the birth certificate, and there is no custody order in place, then he does not have to retun the baby to the mom.  I wouldn't feel safe handing the baby over at all. 

Quoting 3grls1wildboy:

 

ok so they talked last night he said still wont sign papers but told her hes not spending the money to take her to court so should she let it go fo awile bc she has baby y would she have to file for custody and pay??

Quoting Ridingsolo:

Um...that's not how a lawyer should act.  Is he an alcoholic as well?  Makes no sense. 

I'd be concerned letting him near the baby at all if there is no custody agreement in place.  He technically doesn't have to give the baby back.

I would go to court to deal with this.  Don't deal with him or his quack lawyer friend directly anymore.  He's proven to be unstable.

 

 

 

 


 

3grls1wildboy
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:58 AM

 the attorney and my daighter went over the document and she thought it was fair nothing in there un reasonable and she is calling board of ethics ..i see its all about money for him not best intrest of child and hes a big bully he said his attorney will draw up papers for him at my daughters expense he said he will have her billedfor everything and she WILLsign it she said no ill look it over and i told her same thing record everything


Quoting victoriahearts:

Agree with the ladies that attorney was totally out of the line and she should report him, also the next time either of them calls her, I would  record it as proof because it's illegal for an attorney to threat her or intimidate her that way. And honestly I think the ex is calling now because he is realizing that he screwed up and taking your daughter to court would be a huge mistake for him, I think she should speak to her attorney and decide what she think it's fair to her and her child and go from there. 


 

victoriahearts
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:08 AM

She isn't responsible for his attorney's fee she didn't hire him, she didn't advise him to get an attorney and this is a custodial matter in which the judge will never grant that she pay his attorney's fee, he wanted one now he is responsible for that fee. And if anything the attorney behavior reflects poorly on the father so if they would go to court it would look bad for him.  Just advise your daughter to listen to her attorney , use her good judgement and that she should set a date, and tell the father and his attorney they have until x date to come up with an agreement they both agree upon or she will file with court and let her attorney make his agreement there. This will get them to either start being reasonable or they will have to face the music in court. 

Quoting 3grls1wildboy:

 the attorney and my daighter went over the document and she thought it was fair nothing in there un reasonable and she is calling board of ethics ..i see its all about money for him not best intrest of child and hes a big bully he said his attorney will draw up papers for him at my daughters expense he said he will have her billedfor everything and she WILLsign it she said no ill look it over and i told her same thing record everything


Quoting victoriahearts:

Agree with the ladies that attorney was totally out of the line and she should report him, also the next time either of them calls her, I would  record it as proof because it's illegal for an attorney to threat her or intimidate her that way. And honestly I think the ex is calling now because he is realizing that he screwed up and taking your daughter to court would be a huge mistake for him, I think she should speak to her attorney and decide what she think it's fair to her and her child and go from there. 





3grls1wildboy
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:18 AM

 

thats what he and hisattorny freind is telling hr ..there saying he is top3 in state and will get every fee paid for by her and attorney said ex will pay nothing he will get all his services for free and said hes done this b4 ..so whather attory drew up would u attach that to ur custody papers to file at court?

Quoting victoriahearts:

She isn't responsible for his attorney's fee she didn't hire him, she didn't advise him to get an attorney and this is a custodial matter in which the judge will never grant that she pay his attorney's fee, he wanted one now he is responsible for that fee. And if anything the attorney behavior reflects poorly on the father so if they would go to court it would look bad for him.  Just advise your daughter to listen to her attorney , use her good judgement and that she should set a date, and tell the father and his attorney they have until x date to come up with an agreement they both agree upon or she will file with court and let her attorney make his agreement there. This will get them to either start being reasonable or they will have to face the music in court. 

Quoting 3grls1wildboy:

 the attorney and my daighter went over the document and she thought it was fair nothing in there un reasonable and she is calling board of ethics ..i see its all about money for him not best intrest of child and hes a big bully he said his attorney will draw up papers for him at my daughters expense he said he will have her billedfor everything and she WILLsign it she said no ill look it over and i told her same thing record everything

 

Quoting victoriahearts:

Agree with the ladies that attorney was totally out of the line and she should report him, also the next time either of them calls her, I would  record it as proof because it's illegal for an attorney to threat her or intimidate her that way. And honestly I think the ex is calling now because he is realizing that he screwed up and taking your daughter to court would be a huge mistake for him, I think she should speak to her attorney and decide what she think it's fair to her and her child and go from there. 

 

 

 

 


 

victoriahearts
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:34 AM

Honestly if I were your daughter I would have stopped trying to deal with the father's attorney and him and gone to court by now. I think your daughter needs to sit down with her attorney and discuss the matter and prepare herself to go to court because that is where this leading, his attorney is being unreasonable and the only way that he would have gotten every fee paid for by the other parents is if they agreed to it, so your daughter shouldn't agree to it. He mostly likely bullied and scared the other parents, I'm sure if your daughter ask her attorney he will tell her that he probably has never seen  a case where two parents that weren't married and were fighting for custody of their child, where the other parent was told to pay the other attorneys fee. I would keep everything and make sure her attorney had every last piece of paperwork so that he could show everything in court, the best advice I can give you is to listen to the attorney and take his a** to court.


Quoting 3grls1wildboy:


thats what he and hisattorny freind is telling hr ..there saying he is top3 in state and will get every fee paid for by her and attorney said ex will pay nothing he will get all his services for free and said hes done this b4 ..so whather attory drew up would u attach that to ur custody papers to file at court?

Quoting victoriahearts:

She isn't responsible for his attorney's fee she didn't hire him, she didn't advise him to get an attorney and this is a custodial matter in which the judge will never grant that she pay his attorney's fee, he wanted one now he is responsible for that fee. And if anything the attorney behavior reflects poorly on the father so if they would go to court it would look bad for him.  Just advise your daughter to listen to her attorney , use her good judgement and that she should set a date, and tell the father and his attorney they have until x date to come up with an agreement they both agree upon or she will file with court and let her attorney make his agreement there. This will get them to either start being reasonable or they will have to face the music in court. 

Quoting 3grls1wildboy:

 the attorney and my daighter went over the document and she thought it was fair nothing in there un reasonable and she is calling board of ethics ..i see its all about money for him not best intrest of child and hes a big bully he said his attorney will draw up papers for him at my daughters expense he said he will have her billedfor everything and she WILLsign it she said no ill look it over and i told her same thing record everything


Quoting victoriahearts:

Agree with the ladies that attorney was totally out of the line and she should report him, also the next time either of them calls her, I would  record it as proof because it's illegal for an attorney to threat her or intimidate her that way. And honestly I think the ex is calling now because he is realizing that he screwed up and taking your daughter to court would be a huge mistake for him, I think she should speak to her attorney and decide what she think it's fair to her and her child and go from there. 









lovebienmom
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:18 AM

She needs to file for custody and work through the courts. Its not a fun process but it will give both parents definitive perameters within to parent. If you are concerned for the childs safety you need to tell the judge and back it up with proof to show the children are better off with the mother. Depending on your state these battles can be long and stressful. The lawyer scenario sounds a bit odd. If this person is truly a lawyer then the ethics board needs to be notified. I find it hard to believe that a lawyer would put his carreer on the line for one client, but then again I have been surprised in life before. Legally binding agreement are costly and can be pain staking but it covers you in the future and makes thing very clear.

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