Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice on letting go & moving on!!

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:26 PM
  • 14 Replies

My sons father and I were together for 3 years until 2 months ago.My son is now 15 months, we broke up because I was tired of him hurting me, he's always cheated on me, and recently I caught him on the next block with a girl who he's cheated on me with before, while me and his son were at home wondering where he was. He never worked and he never got along with my family, and I'm very close to my family. On holidays instead of spending time with me and my son and my family he would be with his friends. Now he text everyday to see how his sons doing, but that's all he does, he doesn't help me financial wise with him at all. he hardly comes and sees him nd he only lives 30 min. Away. He never ask if he could pick him up he waits for his mom to come get him in order to see him.. I know I'm dumb but I still love him, but I'm 100 % sure that I would never get back with him.Im a chain smoker bc idk how to get over him. Can anybody give me some advice on how to let go and get over him?

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:26 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:53 AM
2 moms liked this

It takes time, but you will get over him.  As for the financial aspect, you need to file for child support, otherwise you will probably never see a dime. 

steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:57 PM
1 mom liked this

Just remind yourself that your ex is a cheater and always will be one.  If he truly loved you he wouldn't be with other women.  You love him but he doesn't love you.  I know it hurts.  Try using a different method for your angst besides smoking.  What about getting the patch, nicotene gum or any other way of weaning yourself from smoking.  I wouldn't stay home alone.   I would get out and be with your friends. Join a gym.  Stay busy.  Start to think of ways to interact with people.  The more you stay busy the more you think less of your ex.  It will take a lot of time and soul searching to get over your stbx.  Just know you are better off without being hurt anymore by someone that simply does not love you.  I had to adjust to that thinking and it's worked for me.

AlexisBryan22
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:59 PM

Thank you:)

breebree04
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this

It will take some time but eventually instead of thinking about how much you love/miss him, you'll be thinking what the hell was I thinking! It will get better just give it some time and try to distract yourself instead of sitting home alone thinking about it. Definately go down to the court house and file for child support.

jenking04
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:07 PM
I'm going through the same thing. I was with him for 10 years and have two kids with him 8 and 3. He cheated on me more times then I can count. He now has a new GF who he is moving in with even though they have only been together for 3 weeks. And he hasn't seen the kids in over 2 weeks and doesn't call or text them either. He does pay CS but only cause its taken out of his check. He also has 2 other kids he hasn't seen in over 10 years. I just realize that no matter how bad it may hurt to be alone I deserve much better than the pain he has caused me and my kids. And we are much better off. I am here if you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on.


Quoting AlexisBryan22:

My sons father and I were together for 3 years until 2 months ago.My son is now 15 months, we broke up because I was tired of him hurting me, he's always cheated on me, and recently I caught him on the next block with a girl who he's cheated on me with before, while me and his son were at home wondering where he was. He never worked and he never got along with my family, and I'm very close to my family. On holidays instead of spending time with me and my son and my family he would be with his friends. Now he text everyday to see how his sons doing, but that's all he does, he doesn't help me financial wise with him at all. he hardly comes and sees him nd he only lives 30 min. Away. He never ask if he could pick him up he waits for his mom to come get him in order to see him.. I know I'm dumb but I still love him, but I'm 100 % sure that I would never get back with him.Im a chain smoker bc idk how to get over him. Can anybody give me some advice on how to let go and get over him?


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
AlexisBryan22
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:52 PM

Thank u:)

AlexisBryan22
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:14 PM

what do you do to keep your mind of your kids father, im a stay at home mom. I cant find anything to do with my time when my sons asleep, but clean and that doesnt help!!

ValGee
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:58 PM
2 moms liked this

First off, I'd like to say you did a good thing for your son by leaving this kind of person. He don't need to see that and grow up in a unhappy home. Children do imitate what they see. As for forgetting him it'll take time. Keep yourself busy by bettering yourself by finding work or going to school to show him you can do better alone. He's only texting you to make your life miserable and making sure you don't forget him. The love you have for him will always be there because he's your childs father and until you understand that you'll make yourself miserable. No woman deserves to be put second in a mans life. Hang in there and make the best of your new beginning :)

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:32 PM
What exactly are you missing? He sounds like a jackass. I think you miss the idea of an intact family more than that loser. So you want your kid to grow up acting like him? It's a good thig he's gone.now go file child support and be done w him. Stay busy. Affirm to yourself you deserve better. Keep your mind occupied. Do things you enjoy.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:35 PM
Single an sahm don't really go together unless you're independently wealthy so this is the perfect opportunity to look into taking classes. Have you thought of working? I you are on aid you can get daycare assistance fairly easily. It's a long ass wait list for us working poor.

Quoting AlexisBryan22:

what do you do to keep your mind of your kids father, im a stay at home mom. I cant find anything to do with my time when my sons asleep, but clean and that doesnt help!!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)