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Blended families

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:59 PM
  • 9 Replies
Anyone have experience with having/growing up in/knowing a blended family? Success and failure stories welcome!
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by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:59 PM
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steviechick
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:42 PM

I'm a product of divorce.   My bio father remarried right around the time my mom and step-dad did.  My bio father's new wife already had two kids.  So, I added a step bro and step sister to my family.  Got along well with the step-sister but the step-bro was a jerk (still is).  My bio dad had a child with his new wife.  I never did get to know my half-sibling.  I grew up away from my bio dad.  Today, if I saw her we would say hello, but that's it.  We never did stay close.  I'm closer to my step-sister.  I like my step-mom.  She's always been nice to me and my siblings.  My step-dad was married before and has a son.  He is the same age as my older brother.  I talk to him via FB. 

breebree04
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:55 PM

I have 2 bio brothers, 3 step sisters, 1 half sister, 1 step brother, 1 half brother, and 3 adopted siblings so yeah I have some experience being in a blended family :) It has its ups and downs but I have to say probably more downs, in my family anyway. There is always some kind of drama, jealousy, and/or fighting between someone (still is like that most of the time and most of us are adults). because of what my mom had to go through I dread ever becoming a step mom. She was not the perfect step parent but it didnt matter what she did or didnt do she is and always will be considered the evil step mom. The only benefit I think I really got out of being in a blended family is my amazing dad (step dad) that raised us and treated us like his own.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:05 PM

I don't but here's a bump for ya!

steviechick
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting breebree04:

I have 2 bio brothers, 3 step sisters, 1 half sister, 1 step brother, 1 half brother, and 3 adopted siblings so yeah I have some experience being in a blended family :) It has its ups and downs but I have to say probably more downs, in my family anyway. There is always some kind of drama, jealousy, and/or fighting between someone (still is like that most of the time and most of us are adults). because of what my mom had to go through I dread ever becoming a step mom. She was not the perfect step parent but it didnt matter what she did or didnt do she is and always will be considered the evil step mom. The only benefit I think I really got out of being in a blended family is my amazing dad (step dad) that raised us and treated us like his own.


 My step-dad is amazing, too.  He raised me and my siblings.  He actually married a woman (my mom) with four kids in tow.  Not too many single guys will do that.  My step-dad treated all we kids like we were his own.  I know my step-brother has always felt a little jealous of that and rightfully so.  My step-dad was not in his life very much.  BUT, today they are closer then ever before.   In fact they spend as much time together (VFW get togethers and they used to ride bikes together across country).  Without my step-dad, my mom would of had a hard time raising we four kids.  My bio father was a deadbeat.  A kind hearted/good man, but just a deadbeat. 

brieri
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:49 PM

 Blended families my kids are in one.  Not good. 

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:55 PM

 well, i have two sons, my SO had his daughter full time and three sons part time and we are expecting one together so im about as blended as it can fucking get.

its hard. REALLY hard. two different parenting styles, two (or more) parents to deal w outside the relationship, sibling rivalry between steps, dealing w jealousy issues and trying to treat all the kids even and fair is a challenge and a half. my kdis dad is no drama and far away. BM2 is a problem child who intbeh beginning was acting crazy w custody and now trries to dump off the kids any chance she can... shes not as bad as some, we are civil but shes batshit crazy pants and a hott mess and will always be.

we are making it work but it take A LOT of patience. he needs to be WORTH IT too.. i see women get with dads who i wouldnt put up w in my lifetime or anyone elses and then have to do for their kids too? um, no.  and also, you need to set clear boundaries. my SO does for his kids for the most part in our home. i am not mommy 2.0. i treat them well and love them but he handles the dirty work. im not a sahm so i am not home w them all day handling everything. i willl watch them for an hour or two here and there but i aint a babysitter. you need to spell out your expectations or you could end up resentful.

 
        
         

sarahmiamaria
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:07 PM
Good advice. The man I met has 2 kids with the same woman and I have 2. His kids are 6 and 9 and he has full custody. Mine are 3 and 1 and I have sole custody. We have all beliefs, politics, religion, family values and all that in common but I have no experience with blended families at all so every ones input is much appreciated


Quoting faerie75:

 well, i have two sons, my SO had his daughter full time and three sons part time and we are expecting one together so im about as blended as it can fucking get.


its hard. REALLY hard. two different parenting styles, two (or more) parents to deal w outside the relationship, sibling rivalry between steps, dealing w jealousy issues and trying to treat all the kids even and fair is a challenge and a half. my kdis dad is no drama and far away. BM2 is a problem child who intbeh beginning was acting crazy w custody and now trries to dump off the kids any chance she can... shes not as bad as some, we are civil but shes batshit crazy pants and a hott mess and will always be.


we are making it work but it take A LOT of patience. he needs to be WORTH IT too.. i see women get with dads who i wouldnt put up w in my lifetime or anyone elses and then have to do for their kids too? um, no.  and also, you need to set clear boundaries. my SO does for his kids for the most part in our home. i am not mommy 2.0. i treat them well and love them but he handles the dirty work. im not a sahm so i am not home w them all day handling everything. i willl watch them for an hour or two here and there but i aint a babysitter. you need to spell out your expectations or you could end up resentful.


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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Here is a bump! Good luck to you.
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Musiq_Junkie
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:23 PM

My immediate family isnt blended....my DD has two older half-brothers she's never met tho. but both of my mom's brothers have blended families. The worst that I've heard from them is when the step kids get to be grown (like graduated from HS & are over 18) it's harder to set boundaries like having mutual respect for their step-parent...and of course when to leave the nest!!!Example 1: My youngest uncle, his step daughter is around 18/19 she had a baby back in Nov. She had just graduated in May. She doesnt have a job, nor college (basically not better herself in any way). Before they found out she was pregnant, my uncle begged her to get a 2-yr degree in Nursing....she ain't want to do it, nor anything else. She doesnt help around their house & her mom just acts like its ok...

Example 2:my older uncle, his youngest step son has two kids. 1 of them my uncle & aunt are raising (even though he lives under the same roof as them -__-) they kept her b/c the little girl's mom was having another baby(which isnt his) & it was just too much for her (she had the babies basically back to back).

I've given you the WORST scenarios....I know they're preobably better situations out there, but I'm telling u the bad part about it.

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