It's been such a long time since I have been on here to post anything on the drama in my own life, but I'm not here to post "my" drama. As always I am here to post something to get some of you SMART, BEAUTIFUL, MOTHER'S out of your rut,and all of that baby daddy,baby daddy had a new kid,got a new girlfriend, i can't move on junk out of your gut and movin' on with yourself n' those babies!
I understand from reading from most of your posts' your either going through your motherhood having to deal with their father,possibly their new girlfriend, wife what have you and possibly a new family they've created..And your wondering while your single and on your own? Afterall, you're gorgeous and made gorgeous children to prove it...What the hell is so great about her?
Ick, that feeling when you first find out some of those pieces of information from "them" or the (flavor of the moment) IF you get along with her AT ALL..Either way when you hear your child's father is getting married,having another child,or just simply found another girl makes your stomach SOMEWHERE sick..EVEN if you don't love them anymore, or want to be with them--There is something in us women where we're prone to do to ourselves,"Well, why does he get to be happy"..I've been there and done it. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten that feeling. All I can tell you is this--It IS hard as hell doing it on your own (if you're truly doing it on your own) And if you think there are not going to be more times the toad is not going to make you sick to your stomach whether out of hatred,because you still love him,or because you're still angry at them for what they have done to your or your child--Stay STRONG.
God is a huge concept I cannot wrap around my head sometimes,and other times I look at my life now and look back and go,"Okay, buddy now I see why you kept me away from that person,put me in that situation"..You will never understand right now why they're seemingly on the outside happy,and from "WHAT" it looks like living it up and your tied down with a child to raise and there no where to be found when they need a father..I understand it's so damn frustrating you just want to scream it out for everyone to hear. God does some weird,sometimes lame,down right unexplainably cold things to us! RIGHT NOW it doesn't seem clear skies with a sun anywhere.All you see are clouds and no look ahead of you, just the gloom and doom of another storm you have to fight on your own--If I can promise you one thing?
Your children chose you before they were even in the womb,God chose you for a special reason to carry those children, and go through the shit you've gone through to make you who you're suppose to be FOR THEM. NOT anyone but THEM and lastly for yourself. I think If I honestly knew everything that was going to happen for the rest of tonight and here on out? I'd probably be scared to go to sleep and experience tomorrow! God is there. Talk to him. He's always been listening.