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Am I wrong? Baby Daddy Drama & IDK what to do.

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:49 PM
  • 12 Replies

So I've finally calmed down but I was livid earlier. PHEW does Giselle's dad annoy my entire life!!

I am finally fed up with the BD and his temperament. Okay, our arrangement is that he gives me $200/month and takes Giselle one day out of the weekend, alternating Fridays and Saturdays. Now this past weekend was his Saturday but he called me up & asked if I could keep her the whole weekend because he was going out of town. Now mind you, we had  just had an argument two wks ago because he called me a stupid B and all types of crazy stuff while Giselle was in the car with him because he claims I was being neglectful for not having taken her to the doc, but I digress. So i was already pissed at him but I said whatever and he went. He is supposed to take her this whole weekend but she has a project to do so I told him that I'd keep her this Saturday and he'd take her Friday & saturday next weekend. Cue WWIII. "Nope I can't do it. I have plans. I don't care. I'm not doing. I'm going out of town. I bought tickets." bla bla bla yelling yelling yelling. Now I did have a coworker lunch I wanted to attend but what grinds my gears is his attitude. So I stood my ground and told him that he was techinically supposed to take her that Saturday anyway, so he shouldn't have made plans. He comes and starts being all defensive and loud in my house, and just completely ridiculous. UGH! 


It's frustrating to me because oh he loves her soooo much but his friend outings etc are always priority and if he can't get it his way, well gosh darn it im a stupid unreasonable beeyotch. Can you say psychotic?

Anyway he does this far too often, and although he can be a good dad, I'm TIRED! I frankly don't wanna deal with him anymore. I'm 23 years old and our daughter is 6. THIS SHOULDN'T STILL BE HAPPENING!!!


Is it wrong that I want the court to tell us when he has to take her and whatnot? I just want that stabilized. I thought that went hand in hand with child support but I guess that's a different thing. Im in Chicago, IL and I know it varies by state. If he already gives me $200/ month , is there a point in even filing for child support or will I look like a greedy woman? He has a decent job at Bank of American downtown, while I only work part time and go to school so the money would help but IDK if I'd even have a case. Sigh IDK I'm just frustrated and don't have anyone to talk aboiut this type of ordeal... any help would be amazing. Thanks.


by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:23 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes there is a point. You can have a legal binding agreement. He will have to pay you based on your state guidelines instead of what he wants to.
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christymartini
by New Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:37 AM

Yeah that was basically my train of thought.  It would be something set in stone, and he also has a habit of giving me the money whenever he pleases so that would be a plus. It makes me sad because we can be very civil at times but he's impossible to talk to when he's upset. So tiring. Anyway, thanks.

MomAmy77
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:48 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm right outside Chicago too. The laws are crap here. I would take him to court .. 200 is nothing if he has a good job. You deserve way more. He might be a good dad but he is acting like his childisnt first we as moms would do anything and drop everything for time with our kids right
christymartini
by New Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:52 AM



Quoting MomAmy77:

I'm right outside Chicago too. The laws are crap here. I would take him to court .. 200 is nothing if he has a good job. You deserve way more. He might be a good dad but he is acting like his childisnt first we as moms would do anything and drop everything for time with our kids right


Are they crappy laws? Blegh that stinks. Have you dealt with them personally? I mean the idea of extra money would be heaven sent so I actually found the form and am going to fill it out, but I'm more so clueless about the custody stuff. Are you familiar at all? It just seems like I might need a lawyer... not quite sure. It blows my mind how this could all be avoided if he learned to address things like a normal human being lol

MomAmy77
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes my divorce ended 2 months ago with a custody fight. I have primary custody. I'm in Indiana but only a few miles outside of Chicago. Our laws are the same. If he has a good job 200 is not right you need a lawyer ans get everything in writting and document everything it helps.
Robsessed98
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:41 AM
1 mom liked this

IMO, it is always necessary to have court ordered custody, visitation and child support. It's kind of like an insurance policy you can pull out when he tries to screw things up. It's always best to work with him on switching weekends and things when you can, but normally he has certain days for visitation and if he doesn't take them, they don't have to be repaid, it's his loss and he has to wait till next time. Also, if somewhere down the line he decides to lower or stop paying support, you have no options. With a court order, he doesn't get to change his mind. Good luck.

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 6, 2013 at 8:05 AM
You should Def get it all on legal documents. Does that mean you will get the same custody arrangement?? No he could request more. Does that mean he will take her when he is supposed to....no. you can't make someone want ro be a dad. They have to want to be. Forcing your child upon him could make her very misread me during her time with him of he doesn't make any effort to make it enjoyable.
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proudmommy5994
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:01 AM

I live in SC and wasn't going to get a legal custody agreement. But then I was told by a police officer that if he has our girls and takes off with them, there is nothing I can do. He has just as much right to them as I do. So we have a legal custody agreement. Neither one of us can leave the state with the girls without the other parent being notified in writing at least 1 week in advance. And we have to say where we are going a phone number there. Child support here is based upon how much the parents make. I say a court order is the best way to go. And yes... you need an attorney. They know things you don't know. Good luck hunny. Been there and done that.

christymartini
by New Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:47 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you! I really do need to do that. He keeps talking about going to California with his mom whenever we argue... Screw that! Lol


Quoting proudmommy5994:

I live in SC and wasn't going to get a legal custody agreement. But then I was told by a police officer that if he has our girls and takes off with them, there is nothing I can do. He has just as much right to them as I do. So we have a legal custody agreement. Neither one of us can leave the state with the girls without the other parent being notified in writing at least 1 week in advance. And we have to say where we are going a phone number there. Child support here is based upon how much the parents make. I say a court order is the best way to go. And yes... you need an attorney. They know things you don't know. Good luck hunny. Been there and done that.


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Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:08 PM

i agree he will likely be paying you more than $200 a month if you file for support,. IL though has the worst, most outdated CS guielines and I believe they still only go by the NCP's income. Some lawmakers were trying to change the guidelines to do a dual income formula which is what most states use but not sure it went anywhere  He should be paying you more than $200.

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