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issues with visitation please help

Posted by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:19 PM
  • 5 Replies

To give you some background info: My dd and I recently moved to Florida so I could finish school down here. It was a brutal, ugly battle between my ex and I for me to relocate with my dd. Judge sided with me and allowed us to move. Our custody agreement states that he was supposed to have her every 3 months for a period of 2 weeks. Well his visitation time came up and he texted me told me not to com. After 4 months of not hearing from him or him seeing my dd he shows up in florida. He moved down here but lives over 4 hours away. Currently we are meeting up half way every other week and he has her from monday to wednesday. Again he was supposed to have her til friday, but during first visit he couldn't handle it and he cut the time back.

These very long drives are taking a huge toll on my car and my dd ( only 20 months old). I also got a new nursing job (yay me!!!) so I will be working monday thru friday. I told him I couldn't do these days anymore and no surprise here he flipped out at me. Told me i was a horrible mother bc i would be leaving her in daycare for 40 hours a week and that those were the only times that worked for him. Now he is a bartender and lives with his brother. I really dont understand why he can't take her every other weekend and have his brother watch he at night. He doesn't even have to go to work til 9pm. I would like to take it to court down here and have the visitation changed so both of us are held to it. Since I allowed these every other week visits to happen now for about a month will a judge force me to stay with that schedule. There just is absolutely no way i can get down there and get to work on time. If he lived closer it wouldn't be a problem.

I finally get myself back on my feet just to have him knock me down again. feels like i can never be happy

he knew were we lived and choose to move 4 hours away. shouldn't he be responsible for travel. i was when i moved.

sorry for the length needed to vent

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:19 PM
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by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:24 PM
You caused the orig distance though however you have no court order it seems to allow row so personally I think if he wants more visits than the court order allows driving should be on him. I edited my response. You abide by court order and 4 hours away generally does not usually give him very frequent visits. I'm afraid this may wind up back in court. Have you had jurisdiction transferred to FL?
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:28 PM

My ex husband and I live close right now, but we are both responsible for travel. The judge said for us to come up with a nutural place to meet to "exchange" the children. However, his mom has started picking up our 4 year old from school in the afternoons and he and I get along better, so I go to his house to pick them up. When I do, he comes to my house to get them. And no, just because you two agreed on a different agreement that worked best for y'all then doesn't mean that a judge will stick to it now. But all you can do is go to court and get it set up. And there is nothing wrong with daycare. In fact, as long as it's a good one, it's good for your dd. She is learned social skills and sharing.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:39 PM
I wrote to have jurisdication changed and nj forwarded all the case info to fl but it can take up to two weeks. I don't mind if he takes her for longer visits. He just doesn't want her for that long. I just don't understand why he can't take her every other weekend or for a whole week once a month. When I moved I agreed to pay all traveling costs. If he would be willing to pick her up from my house or a closer spot I could still manage this visitation schedule. I want to be civil with him but its either his way or no way. I feel visitation should work for all parties not just him. I'm just nervous if I go to court a judge will say since I agreed to this visitation originally I have to stick to this. :( I worked so hard to get this job and I don't want to lose it bc of him.
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by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:07 PM

Talk to a lawyer.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:18 PM

It's not his brother's responsibility to watch your/BF's child.

My recommendation would be to stick with the original order that's legally in place. File for a modification if necessary now, but you still have the obligation to hold up all the stipulations that were put on you to begin with until a legal change is made. 

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