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He's f$&%ing with my kids' heads!

Posted by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:58 PM
  • 12 Replies
So I have full custody. My ex has visitation every other weekend. Lately they have been coming home saying weird things. My oldest is 6 and seems to know what's going on, but the 4y/o is really confused. To add to it, he has been diagnosed with a mood disorder NOS, so he has some mental problems. Some emotional issues. Dad has been telling them that they live there, that his house is their house and when they get older, they are going to come live with him. My oldest says he's not going. He knows where he lives he says. My youngest is always asking where he lives and if he has to go live with daddy. His dad is in denial about his issues and doesn't give him his medication. So he will have an episode almost every Sunday I pick him up and screaming that he wants to go to his 'real' home with dad. Am I wrong in thinking he's an ass for putting these ideas in the heads of such young children?
This is the same guy who is embarrassed by my oldest's weight, guilts him into wanting to quit his sports because dad has to drive to far(he doesn't 'quit, but gets sad when it's Dad's weekend). His dad blamed him for leaving his basketball shoes at home last Saturday! He's 6! Not his responsibility! I tell him to get stuff, but always check before we leave. He has no business nor does he want the kids full time as he picks them up late and wants me to get them early because he has dates. Please, you have 12 other days to date. They are there 4 days a month and spend about 2 at his parents house, so this is crap. I just feel he is confusing then and upsetting the youngest. What would you do? Address him?
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by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:32 PM
I'm sorry he's doing that I understand him wanting to know that his house is theirs too I don't get the dating thing and the medication though
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mytrueloveS
by Lori on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:11 AM
My ex tells my son to go live with him too. I understand what you mean, but just talk to your kids.
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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:36 AM
So sorry. *hugs*
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tyfry7496
by Janet on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:37 AM
1 mom liked this
Take the kids to counseling so you have DOCUMENTED proof of the emotional damage being done. Get a notebook or blank calendar (or both) and document everytime he's late or brings the boys home early. Document everything the boys tell you.

Take you son that needs meds to the doctor and tell them dad refuses to give the meds and ask what they can do. That alone could be considered medical neglect.
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deltathree
by Gold Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:32 AM

sorry mama - hugs

steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:34 AM

I would defnately call your atty and report that the meds aren't being given to your son.  Your atty will then have to file a motion for contempt of court.  If your ex fails to give your son his meds he could lose visitation rights. 

As far as your ex telling your kids about living with him when they get older that would be up to your kids.  I would think your ex is talking about when they are 18.   I would also think that when they are that age they would want to go to college and not live with their dad.  If anything they would want to live with you.  So, whatever your ex is telling your sons he's being a fool about it.  Just talk to your boys.  They are only 6 and 4 yrs old.  Still too young to fully understand what they will be doing in 12 to 14 yrs.  Your ex doesn't seem like a very decent father.  Ridiculing his own son, purposely not giving him the meds he needs, just being a lousy father in general. 

heartnhidin
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:43 AM
What your ex is doing is wrong on many levels. Its medical neglect not to give your son his medications. I would contact your attorney.
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Roxxeysmommy
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:03 PM

Yes you should address him about the issue at hand. He has no right doing that to the kids & also, not giving the child the medication he needs can be a big deal if you take him back to court over that issue. My father is a lawyer, so I listen to a lot of conversations.What you need to do is get a written doctor's note saying that the child NEEDS his medication. If you send the meds with the father, count them before he picks the kids up & write down how many there were & when you get the kids back, count them again to make sure he gave them to him. If you count the same amount, I would say confront him about the issue. Record all voice calls & send any text messages to your email or screen shot them & print them out. This will all be efficient evidence if you have to go back to court for anything.

michiganmom5150
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:05 PM
I only send the exact and maybe an extra of his medicine because I was afraid he's flush them at first. My atty said unless I go to court, they can't enforce it b/c he was not on the meds when we got the custody order. The doc tells me to double his dosage at night for 2 days prior to going for a week. The biggest issues we had was over the summer when they had to go for a week. He's was on 2 pills a day and so, 14 total. He would come home with as many as 9. It doesn't HURT the child not to take it, but he can become violent without it. Dad has been invited to all his appointments, as well as offered a one-on-one talk with his psychiatrist which he refused.
My concern is him getting remarried and trying to get custody of them. He keeps telling them this stuff and he's not talking about WAY down the road. They don't live there. I have FULL custody. We do not have joint custody. He's better off financially, but I make it. These kids are so confused as it is.
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Musiq_Junkie
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:25 PM
This! Isnt it a crime to not give a child their meds if its something prescribed?!?!?!


Quoting tyfry7496:

Take the kids to counseling so you have DOCUMENTED proof of the emotional damage being done. Get a notebook or blank calendar (or both) and document everytime he's late or brings the boys home early. Document everything the boys tell you.



Take you son that needs meds to the doctor and tell them dad refuses to give the meds and ask what they can do. That alone could be considered medical neglect.

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