Hi, my name is Jessica and I just turned 21 last week. I am 31 weeks pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. Even though I'm so excited and love them so much, I'm scared to death. I'm trying to prepare for them, but how do you really do that? I have tons of clothes, I'm collecting a stock pile of diapers and wipes, picking up a crib next week, have a bassinet and pack and play and the list goes on and on..but I can't help but feel totally unprepared. It doesn't help that 99 % of the people in my life make it a point to tell me how I'm not ready to be a mother, my babies are a mistake, I'm a child and I don't deserve to find love because I gave up the chance for my babies to have a father when I slept with the wrong guy and got pregnant. The words that I hear countless times a day from the people who mean the most to me haunt me. Instead of hearing encouragment and excitement, I feel like I'm going to fail and my poor babies are stuck with a horrible Mom. I have made mistakes, but I'm trying to do what's right now. I don't consider my babies to be mistakes. They are the best things that have ever happened to me. I love them with all of my heart and I want to give them the best life possible. I grew up in foster care, literally grew up, so now that I'm a mother, I worry that I am going to lose my babies. I worry that I'm going to fail. When I was 15, I met a boy and we stayed together until last year. He decided he wasn't happy, so he ended things. I was devestated. We kept sleeping together though ( I didn't want to let go) and I started sleeping with other guys. I wasn't careful, and for the first time in my life, I started drinking. I think I really didn't care what happened to me at that point. I had lost what I thought was the world. So, in August of 2012, I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant, with twins. At this point, I'm not sure who the father is. I never thought I would be the girl to say that, but here I am...So the boy I was with for 5 years, has decided he doesn't want to be involved with my pregnancy until we know if they are his or not. It's been really difficult to go through this pregnancy alone, but I know I did this to myself. I chose to be irresponsible and I chose to keep my babies, so this is my responsibility. Knowing that doesn't make it any easier though..I mean, I have a few friends who have all these grand plans to be involved, but that tends to change from minute to minute. I guess I'm just really scared and discouraged. Just when I think that I am doing something right, someone shoots me down and tells me how horrible I will be as a mother. I know one thing is for sure though, my babies are not mistakes. They are miracles. Sorry this was so long, I just don't know who else to talk to.