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my sons father(my stbxh) and his girlfriend is threatening me and my son and herassing me.he is on the bc but has never seen or asked about ds(we are married so i put him on there thinking it would make things easier with court) and i dont see that changing.will i get in trouble for changing my #? We live in tennessee and havent been threw court yet if that matters
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:31 PM
Replies (21-30):
merinasmommy
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:16 PM
i know he doesnt care hes just mad i am doing child support


Quoting raegan1221:

 I'd just do what you're doing them and have no contact with either one. Honestly you never know if he'll just not care and back out of the picture.


Quoting merinasmommy:

the only time ive iniciated any contact is asking him for his ss# for the child support papers....which he never did give me.i cant stand him or his gf



Quoting raegan1221:


 Then honestly if I were in your position, I would change my number and not even so much as speak two words to him until you go to court. After you go to court and make decisions on what custody is going to be like...you are going to have to report any address changes, etc...and he will be allowed to see your child. Right now he isn't..so I say no contact with him. Also document everything...even the smallest thing, write it down and keep it in a file. This has came in very handy for me...especially if he is threatening you or your child...document it...show it to an attorney. If you don't have a lawyer, I'd look at getting one. Sorry for the long babble but I had to go through this when I divorced my sons father in 2006. And we also just won custody of my boyfriend's dd from her Mom..and now the others siblings grandparents and filing to take custody away from Mom..so yeah...but good luck to you!!!



Quoting merinasmommy:

hes 3 weeks.we dont have anything yet




Quoting raegan1221:



 You don't already have a custody agreement stating when he has visitation, is that correct? If not then no I wouldn't think you'd have to let him see your child especially if he's threatening to hurt him. That's terrible.




Quoting merinasmommy:

do i have to let him see our son until court?we go in april.he keeps threatening to hurt him





Quoting Mocking.Jay:




You cannot get in trouble if they are harrassing you. Change your number. There should never be an obligation for you to keep the same number in the case of not being with the father. You are obligated to let him see his child, but you are NOT obligated to keep in contact with him. That is up to him if he wants that contact but from the sounds of it, he is abusing that privilege.





 




 



 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mocking.Jay
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:17 PM

You are welcome. And if you change your number, he will leave you alone. And if he gets a hold of that number without your permission, document that too.

Quoting merinasmommy:

will do thank you.i think he is too.there has to be something not right for him to just threaten his own baby.i want nothing to do with him i wish hed just leave us alone


raegan1221
by Raegan on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:18 PM

 Eh let him be mad...he helped make your baby. Ya know? But I'd definitely change your # then he can take it out on someone else.

Quoting merinasmommy:

i know he doesnt care hes just mad i am doing child support


Quoting raegan1221:

 I'd just do what you're doing them and have no contact with either one. Honestly you never know if he'll just not care and back out of the picture.


Quoting merinasmommy:

the only time ive iniciated any contact is asking him for his ss# for the child support papers....which he never did give me.i cant stand him or his gf



Quoting raegan1221:


 Then honestly if I were in your position, I would change my number and not even so much as speak two words to him until you go to court. After you go to court and make decisions on what custody is going to be like...you are going to have to report any address changes, etc...and he will be allowed to see your child. Right now he isn't..so I say no contact with him. Also document everything...even the smallest thing, write it down and keep it in a file. This has came in very handy for me...especially if he is threatening you or your child...document it...show it to an attorney. If you don't have a lawyer, I'd look at getting one. Sorry for the long babble but I had to go through this when I divorced my sons father in 2006. And we also just won custody of my boyfriend's dd from her Mom..and now the others siblings grandparents and filing to take custody away from Mom..so yeah...but good luck to you!!!



Quoting merinasmommy:

hes 3 weeks.we dont have anything yet




Quoting raegan1221:



 You don't already have a custody agreement stating when he has visitation, is that correct? If not then no I wouldn't think you'd have to let him see your child especially if he's threatening to hurt him. That's terrible.




Quoting merinasmommy:

do i have to let him see our son until court?we go in april.he keeps threatening to hurt him





Quoting Mocking.Jay:




You cannot get in trouble if they are harrassing you. Change your number. There should never be an obligation for you to keep the same number in the case of not being with the father. You are obligated to let him see his child, but you are NOT obligated to keep in contact with him. That is up to him if he wants that contact but from the sounds of it, he is abusing that privilege.





 




 



 


 

Faith, Hope & Love "I Will Have Faith in YOU, Hope For YOU To Come Home To Me & Love YOU More Every Day".
merinasmommy
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:18 PM
im sure he will.i changed it 4 times when i was pregnant


Quoting Mocking.Jay:

You are welcome. And if you change your number, he will leave you alone. And if he gets a hold of that number without your permission, document that too.

Quoting merinasmommy:

will do thank you.i think he is too.there has to be something not right for him to just threaten his own baby.i want nothing to do with him i wish hed just leave us alone



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mocking.Jay
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:22 PM

My number is changed. And I got my phone company to make my number private so when I call, I will never be called back by my ex. There is no reason for us to talk anymore because everytime he wanted to keep communication open, he would never use an opportunity to call us to even see if we were alive. My son doesn't even care. He's too busy loving up his new dog lmao. Our puppy is a huge distraction.

merinasmommy
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:25 PM
thats good.i hope he will be ok when he is older.i guess if he never has a dad hell never miss one right?


Quoting Mocking.Jay:

My number is changed. And I got my phone company to make my number private so when I call, I will never be called back by my ex. There is no reason for us to talk anymore because everytime he wanted to keep communication open, he would never use an opportunity to call us to even see if we were alive. My son doesn't even care. He's too busy loving up his new dog lmao. Our puppy is a huge distraction.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mocking.Jay
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:32 PM

Meh. I have friends whose mothers have kept them away from their fathers and they said it's the best thing that their mom ever did. I did everything in my power to try and make it at least convenient for my ex, but after their gunshot wedding and apparently, surprise baby #2, I was like FUCCCCCCCCCCCK that noise. I bounced like Tigger out of that situation. It's been 6 months since my ex last called and had a really good bullshit convo with me about how he's gonna start making more money to visit my son. My son's 5. If it didn't happen already, it's not gonna happen anytime soon, and when he's ready, my son's going to be old enough to say "FUCK YOU". That will not be my fault. My son experienced his first paternal disappointment when my ex spoke to him on speakerphone and I heard all these promises of how much lego my son would get. Plus, my ex was supposed to pay me $200 so I could buy my kid some fucking asthma medication that costed $66. After that phone call, we went two weeks without proper food. I cooked 4 month frozen meat that only lasted us one night, and I had to ask my parents to buy us groceries a week later when I told them my son had a cut up apple over a three day period and I was too scared to ask them because ex promised us $200 would be in my bank account that monday. It never came. My dad was so angry he was going to call my ex himself but I said it wouldn't do anything and was able to talk some sense into my dad. I honestly never seen my dad so angry over my ex. The last time I see him that angry was when I told him I was pregnant lmao.

Quoting merinasmommy:

thats good.i hope he will be ok when he is older.i guess if he never has a dad hell never miss one right?


Quoting Mocking.Jay:

My number is changed. And I got my phone company to make my number private so when I call, I will never be called back by my ex. There is no reason for us to talk anymore because everytime he wanted to keep communication open, he would never use an opportunity to call us to even see if we were alive. My son doesn't even care. He's too busy loving up his new dog lmao. Our puppy is a huge distraction.



merinasmommy
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:44 PM
i begged him the first week then he started threatening.he works for the fire dept so this stuff will be getting him fired.he looks exactly like his dad unfortionately.we were at walmart 3 days ago and as soon as he saw us he turned and left its pathetic.


Quoting Mocking.Jay:

Meh. I have friends whose mothers have kept them away from their fathers and they said it's the best thing that their mom ever did. I did everything in my power to try and make it at least convenient for my ex, but after their gunshot wedding and apparently, surprise baby #2, I was like FUCCCCCCCCCCCK that noise. I bounced like Tigger out of that situation. It's been 6 months since my ex last called and had a really good bullshit convo with me about how he's gonna start making more money to visit my son. My son's 5. If it didn't happen already, it's not gonna happen anytime soon, and when he's ready, my son's going to be old enough to say "FUCK YOU". That will not be my fault. My son experienced his first paternal disappointment when my ex spoke to him on speakerphone and I heard all these promises of how much lego my son would get. Plus, my ex was supposed to pay me $200 so I could buy my kid some fucking asthma medication that costed $66. After that phone call, we went two weeks without proper food. I cooked 4 month frozen meat that only lasted us one night, and I had to ask my parents to buy us groceries a week later when I told them my son had a cut up apple over a three day period and I was too scared to ask them because ex promised us $200 would be in my bank account that monday. It never came. My dad was so angry he was going to call my ex himself but I said it wouldn't do anything and was able to talk some sense into my dad. I honestly never seen my dad so angry over my ex. The last time I see him that angry was when I told him I was pregnant lmao.

Quoting merinasmommy:

thats good.i hope he will be ok when he is older.i guess if he never has a dad hell never miss one right?





Quoting Mocking.Jay:

My number is changed. And I got my phone company to make my number private so when I call, I will never be called back by my ex. There is no reason for us to talk anymore because everytime he wanted to keep communication open, he would never use an opportunity to call us to even see if we were alive. My son doesn't even care. He's too busy loving up his new dog lmao. Our puppy is a huge distraction.





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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:00 AM
Document everything and save all the messages. I agree about the order of protection
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Robsessed98
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:09 AM
Not at all if there's no court order - they usually require you to notify the other within ten days of change of address, job or phone. Until you go to court you can do whatever. Document everything he does and if he asks for a visit, let him have it supervised. If you deny him access it will reflect badly on you.
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