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long post. I really need to vent and me heard out and understood. :(

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:54 PM
  • 19 Replies
Husband and I separated on December 21. He told me he didn't love me and that he was so so sorry. few days later I see messages of his on Facebook (I know the password) with a couple of girls saying he likes them but is married, messages started like two/three weeks before he told me and left. So fast forward he hooked up with one of them, their not "boyfriend/girlfriend" yet because were still married. He left me with our little girl of almost 2 years and pregnant (currently 5 months). He's been good about giving me money (were not going to child support they'll give me less) and about seeing his daughter. only thing is he still calls me babe, and when were around each other he acts like if were still together. He tells me he loves my lips, my body and all and we've had sex a couple of times. I know I shouldn't let it happen but I still love him. I love to feel close to him. Well the girl text me one day and told me it was my fault about everything I got pissed of and told her what he would tell me of her. That she was a slut and would try to get him jealous and it was so dumb. She got mad and wouldn't talk to him. I went over two days after I went over to celebrate his brothers birthday and we had sex again. After he leaves me his friend messages him to text the girl but to not tell her he was with me because she thought he hadn't seen me. they ended up together again. so yesterday he brought be diapers and my daughter wanted to leave with him something happened and she didn't go. I called him to return back because she was asking for him. He tells me he's coming with a friend, a girl. I keep telling him to leave her first and come get our daughter. making matters short I found out she had been in the car all the time he was here and he still wanted to take our daughter even when he knew we had agreed no "friends" would meet get near our children until some time passed. I was mad as hell. He doesn't text back when it's something important because he doesn't feel like texting me. Wtf!!! It's something important, doesn't matter what he wants. he lied to the girl saying nothing has happened between us and sometimes I get so pissed off I want to tell her. I'm so frustrated already!! I don't want to love him anymore. I don't want to feel anything. :'(

I'm so sorry it's so long. I can't talk to anyone. And I've basically said my whole story, well not everything but yeah. I feel hurt, betrayed, yet I'm still nice and give him everything and buy him shit. :'(
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by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lextjmom0709
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:57 PM
Hugs mama
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pianokisses
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this
He is playing games with you and you know it for yourseld. It's ok to still love him for now but stop buying him things and having sex with him. He obviously doesnt respect you or care too much for you. But hope you feel better over time. Are you filing for divorce or hoping things will change?
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lizz08
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:10 PM
I know. I'm so weak because I always give in. :( but I know he's just playing with me. Were going to file for divorce but since we have to wait till the baby is born to finalize it were going to wait till around May (a month before baby is born) to start the process.
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Robsessed98
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:36 PM
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I know its hard when you still want him but all you are doing is hurting yourself and making it impossible to let yourself move on. Keep communicating about the kids and nothing else. No matter how much you want to, don't have sex with him period. He lost all rights to your body and life the minute he walked out. He cant have his cake and eat it too, unless you let him. What do you get out of that deal besides more pain? Cut him off and out so you can start healing and moving on with your life.
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KT1525
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:06 PM
Sweetheart I'm so sorry and let me tell you I know what you are going through. I played the same game with my ex husband for almost two years. I even went back and forth with him trying to make it work after our divorce was final. It was a game to him. Hunny you'll always love him with some part of your soul but you need to step away and focus on you and your babies and realize you deserve better than a man that can't decide what he wants with his life. Message me if you ever need to talk or vent. I truly know how you're feeling. Be strong.
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_AshlynNicole
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:12 PM
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:( mama I understand. Also the fact that you all are still married makes the situation way worse than it already is! I would set some rules right away! And stop sleeping with him. I know it's hard because you still love him, but sweetie you deserve better. I would start the process of moving on. He made his choice and it was messed up, but now you have to start taking care of yourself.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:32 AM
I'm sorry he's trying to have his cake and eat it too
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lizz08
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:40 AM
Thank you all for your words. Y'all are right. I need to distance myself to start moving on. I wish it wouldn't be so damn hard though.

Right now I just keep telling myself that as long as he stays active in our childrens lives and keeps supporting us financially (he added to what he's giving me monthly because since I can't work anymore, I just quit this past weekend, he says I need it more than he does for our little girl and my bills and stuff) until i can work again then everything is fine. And I should not pounder whether he's with her or not. Slowly I'm getting the realization that I've lost him but I'm not quite there. But I know it'll take even longer to stop loving him.
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sid1083
by Silver Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:16 AM
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Especially if you're pregnant, I'd be careful sleeping with him if he's sleeping with other girls - you don't know what, if any diseases they may have. You don't need that additional stress.
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lizz08
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:49 AM
I know he's not sleeping with anyone. If he was we wouldn't be having sex with me. He blows me off and he would completely if he already had someone to satisfy his needs. And he's touchy about that subject. He said so himself when we first did it after he left. He wouldn't risk something happening to the baby or me the mother of his kids. Cuz that's the way he sees it now. Hell protect me from what he can because i am the mother of his children and his wife (even after we divorce). I guess that excludes his attitude towards me apparently. Idiot! (him, not you) I know that attitude will probably change eventualy but for now it's still true.


Quoting sid1083:

Especially if you're pregnant, I'd be careful sleeping with him if he's sleeping with other girls - you don't know what, if any diseases they may have. You don't need that additional stress.

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