long post. I really need to vent and me heard out and understood. :(

[lizz08]

Husband and I separated on December 21. He told me he didn't love me and that he was so so sorry. few days later I see messages of his on Facebook (I know the password) with a couple of girls saying he likes them but is married, messages started like two/three weeks before he told me and left. So fast forward he hooked up with one of them, their not "boyfriend/girlfriend" yet because were still married. He left me with our little girl of almost 2 years and pregnant (currently 5 months). He's been good about giving me money (were not going to child support they'll give me less) and about seeing his daughter. only thing is he still calls me babe, and when were around each other he acts like if were still together. He tells me he loves my lips, my body and all and we've had sex a couple of times. I know I shouldn't let it happen but I still love him. I love to feel close to him. Well the girl text me one day and told me it was my fault about everything I got pissed of and told her what he would tell me of her. That she was a slut and would try to get him jealous and it was so dumb. She got mad and wouldn't talk to him. I went over two days after I went over to celebrate his brothers birthday and we had sex again. After he leaves me his friend messages him to text the girl but to not tell her he was with me because she thought he hadn't seen me. they ended up together again. so yesterday he brought be diapers and my daughter wanted to leave with him something happened and she didn't go. I called him to return back because she was asking for him. He tells me he's coming with a friend, a girl. I keep telling him to leave her first and come get our daughter. making matters short I found out she had been in the car all the time he was here and he still wanted to take our daughter even when he knew we had agreed no "friends" would meet get near our children until some time passed. I was mad as hell. He doesn't text back when it's something important because he doesn't feel like texting me. Wtf!!! It's something important, doesn't matter what he wants. he lied to the girl saying nothing has happened between us and sometimes I get so pissed off I want to tell her. I'm so frustrated already!! I don't want to love him anymore. I don't want to feel anything. :'(

I'm so sorry it's so long. I can't talk to anyone. And I've basically said my whole story, well not everything but yeah. I feel hurt, betrayed, yet I'm still nice and give him everything and buy him shit. :'(

[sid1083]

Guys (well girls too) tend to have a habit of telling people things they want to hear. You want to hear he's not sleeping with other women. The new girlfriend wants to hear its completely over between you and he's not still having sex with you.

Quoting lizz08:

I know he's not sleeping with anyone. If he was we wouldn't be having sex with me. He blows me off and he would completely if he already had someone to satisfy his needs. And he's touchy about that subject. He said so himself when we first did it after he left. He wouldn't risk something happening to the baby or me the mother of his kids. Cuz that's the way he sees it now. Hell protect me from what he can because i am the mother of his children and his wife (even after we divorce). I guess that excludes his attitude towards me apparently. Idiot! (him, not you) I know that attitude will probably change eventualy but for now it's still true.

Quoting sid1083:

Especially if you're pregnant, I'd be careful sleeping with him if he's sleeping with other girls - you don't know what, if any diseases they may have. You don't need that additional stress.

[lizz08]

I already told him he can do as he pleases. Yeah, it hurts but we'll soon get the divorce and what he does is his problem. So it's not a matter of him telling me what I want to hear. He's a weird specimen of male. An idiot and all and screws up but if it's his children he won't let any harm come their way in any matter. He's odd to understand, I know. But I know that for a fact. And that's the only thing I'm grateful of him in this hard time. That he's honest to his word. And I've proven it many times. idiot as he comes he's still responsible enough. Thank God!!

Quoting sid1083:

Guys (well girls too) tend to have a habit of telling people things they want to hear. You want to hear he's not sleeping with other women. The new girlfriend wants to hear its completely over between you and he's not still having sex with you.

Quoting lizz08:

I know he's not sleeping with anyone. If he was we wouldn't be having sex with me. He blows me off and he would completely if he already had someone to satisfy his needs. And he's touchy about that subject. He said so himself when we first did it after he left. He wouldn't risk something happening to the baby or me the mother of his kids. Cuz that's the way he sees it now. Hell protect me from what he can because i am the mother of his children and his wife (even after we divorce). I guess that excludes his attitude towards me apparently. Idiot! (him, not you) I know that attitude will probably change eventualy but for now it's still true.

Quoting sid1083:

Especially if you're pregnant, I'd be careful sleeping with him if he's sleeping with other girls - you don't know what, if any diseases they may have. You don't need that additional stress.

[easinpc]

Hugs!!

[nermall1102]

Sweety, i agree with all the gals. Also he doesn't deserve your "lovin ". I know this is hard. Ive been there. He doesn't deserve you. Its his loss. I know its hard to even think of someone else and better coming along but in time. Its part of moving on. Hes lost his rights to you. Your mind and body. You have a friend in me. Feel free to messege me anytime. Im here for you. Just focus on your precious little girl and the precious baby on the way.

[Jkia1boy]

Men only do what Women let them do shug. You are freely leaving the door open for him to come and go as he please and see that's how diseases travel. That female who he is with can be sleeping with another man who has HIV! So got get yourself checked out and leave that Joker!

[CutieCrab]

 He is playing with you! So when he leaves this girl, he can have you, and when he finds another girl he'll leave you it'll be the same sh*t. He is a dirt bag! You can do better!

[sunshine389142]

I agree with every message I read.  If you try and focus on your children, I think it makes it easier.  And....by focus on them, I mean really try to remember that everything you do is an effort to protect, teach, and guide your children so that they become strong well adjusted adults.  I always try to think would I want my daughter to grow up and do this or be like this....  My daughter is the reason I left her her father.  My daughter is the reason I keep trying and trying to be a better mom.  I stil care about her father, but ultimately I have to do what is best for her....not him and not even me really (except in how it pertains to her...I know that if something is keeping me from being the best mom that I can be, I need to get away from whatever that is).

Good luck!  I know this is a really hard time for you.

[kidlover2]

He's not that honest if he's playing around with girls when he is still married. Open your eyes girl and take the love goggles off before he destroys you!

Quoting lizz08:

I already told him he can do as he pleases. Yeah, it hurts but we'll soon get the divorce and what he does is his problem. So it's not a matter of him telling me what I want to hear. He's a weird specimen of male. An idiot and all and screws up but if it's his children he won't let any harm come their way in any matter. He's odd to understand, I know. But I know that for a fact. And that's the only thing I'm grateful of him in this hard time. That he's honest to his word. And I've proven it many times. idiot as he comes he's still responsible enough. Thank God!!

Quoting sid1083:

Guys (well girls too) tend to have a habit of telling people things they want to hear. You want to hear he's not sleeping with other women. The new girlfriend wants to hear its completely over between you and he's not still having sex with you.

Quoting lizz08:

I know he's not sleeping with anyone. If he was we wouldn't be having sex with me. He blows me off and he would completely if he already had someone to satisfy his needs. And he's touchy about that subject. He said so himself when we first did it after he left. He wouldn't risk something happening to the baby or me the mother of his kids. Cuz that's the way he sees it now. Hell protect me from what he can because i am the mother of his children and his wife (even after we divorce). I guess that excludes his attitude towards me apparently. Idiot! (him, not you) I know that attitude will probably change eventualy but for now it's still true.

Quoting sid1083:

Especially if you're pregnant, I'd be careful sleeping with him if he's sleeping with other girls - you don't know what, if any diseases they may have. You don't need that additional stress.

[lizz08]

Yes I know. And I'm making progress. Every time I want to message him I get on here instead. So far so good. :) thank you all for your support. really helps me to keep pushing and not turn back and fall into that endless abyss.

And he's the one realizing that I won't take shit from him anymore. So after his last screw up he's been on his toes being careful not to make a wrong move because he knows it'll only cause him harm.