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Single Moms Single Moms

I feel like running away and dissapearing

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:09 PM
  • 6 Replies
On December 1st I was hired at my DD's daycare. When I was hired I was told they needed me full time so I jumped on it and was excited to finally have a job. After about 2 weeks my hours got cut and then they stopped putting me on the schedule. It scared me cause we just moved in to our new apartment. I finally went out and found another job this time as a caregiver. I have been working here since January 18th and get about 33 hours a week working 6 days a week. I'm starting to freak out again about how to pay my bills. On Monday I lost a client cause she was admited in to the hospital and we have no clue how long she will be there. I thinks its permanent this time. That was 2.50 hours I lost a day. There is another caregiver job I'm looking in to but changing jobs again after just a short time looks really bad. My mom is pissed at me cause I didn't go down there today to apply for the other job. I wanted to spend time with my daughter who I never see anymore and I wanted to pick my son up from school for a change. I bust my ass everyday working and taking care of my kids and being a single mom I feel like I'm going to break. I don't get a break unless I'm at work. My son hates me cause his dad no longer wants to be a dad anymore. I plan on going down hopefully Monday to see about this other job that pays more. I feel like I'm failing my kids as a single mom. I have no one to talk to and no shoulder to cry on. I feel like everything is falling apart around me right now. I got me a lucky bamboo yesterday and hope my luck starts to change soon. I'm to the point where now I feel like something is wrong with me. Any advice would be great thanks.
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by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:09 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Robsessed98
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:03 PM
No, there's nothing wrong with you. It's just life as a single mom. Stay strong and hang in there. Things always get better.
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jenking04
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:09 PM
I hope so thanks. I feel like I have failed my family and kids cause my hours keep getting cut.


Quoting Robsessed98:

No, there's nothing wrong with you. It's just life as a single mom. Stay strong and hang in there. Things always get better.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mytrueloveS
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:21 PM
You haven't failed, being a single parent is not easy. Things will get better once you find a job with your type of schedule.
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stormystar15
by Jessica on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:29 PM
Your not failing. Your kids will look back and see that you tried your hardest and loved them more than anything. Keep your head up things will get better.
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Mary869
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:38 PM

You havent failed because he your reaching out for help and its not in a negative way.  We as mothers always say "we are mothers 1st" which is TRUE but we are also HUMAN...we all have our days! Pick urself up, Dust urself off...kiss ur babies and go see about that job on Monday...keep pressin! Your in my prayers...

drice11
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:03 PM

I so get what you are saying! Pretty much my life too except I only have one son.  Its not easy, there are days I want to run away and there are days I understand why people give up and commit suicide.  I wanted my son for so long and so badly, I would never kill myself, I would never do that to him or my parents. But I admit the thought of an escape some days is a strong urge.  People tell me to look up Karma will get him back but most days I feel like I am the horrible person and Karma keeps kicking me down.  Before I got onine tonight I was doing laundry and crying again.  I am renting my house from friends, they lowered the rent so I could move out of my sisters house after 6 months of trying to keep my mouth shut over the things happening around us.  I have had my truck repossed, borrowed the landlords for a while, my brother was selling me his truck but I couldn't even keep up the payments to him. Between rent and daycare I may have $300 a month left of my pay, I just recently started getting child support and help with daycare from the ex. (another long story involving a lot of guilt).  I have a full time job and insurance, I can't get any help from the state because I make too much money. My first year on my own I lived off of my credit cards, now I am working with a debt counsilor trying to pay them off because they went to debt collectors along with the money the bank wants from the truck sale.  Then add groceries, gas money, car & rental insurance, phone bill, doctor bills and anything else that surprises you, like the car breaking down, too often.  I am always behind on everything, including rent, holidays killed, I felt like a cheap horrible mom.  Today the landlords inform me they are going to try to sell the house and by summer raise the rent $200 month more.  My son is at his dads, I have a headache, stomache and many more stress aches.  My son will start kindergarten in the fall so I still have to have daycare of some sort for the days school is closed and help either taking him or picking him up every day. I have no family living here they are all 2 hours away. I have friends who help me all the time, but I feel I owe them so much now I try not to ask for help, but they know I need it and do it anyway, or may family will if they can get up to where I live. My life sucks, my son is great but still a 4 year old and can get stessful. Along with many other problems I would love to runaway too, but it won't get me anywhere. I am more than likely going to have to move into a one bedroom apartment that I can almost afford or get a rommate. I really don't want a roommate with my son, he is loud, a definite boy, spoiled and bossy, but in the normal 4 year old way, he has his good days too. He is destructive so I wouldn't want him to break someone elses stuff.  The one bedroom apartment is our best bet, he will sleep with which he still does now, and I dont' see a man in my future, I am too depressed to drag someone else down too.  So when ever you need to cry, whine, scream or just talk I am around!  Maybe we can help each other find someone positive to think about besides our kids, I sure could use it.  My friends are great but are too opinionated and I get sick of them telling me what I should or shouldn't do or even how to raise my son.  I am here for you!

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