Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Struggling, and hoping I can get over somethings..Before my babygirl is born

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:45 PM
  • 7 Replies
1 mom liked this

I'm 33 years old and pregnant with my first!  Everything happens for a reason, and I believe I have a miracle.  No one knows my story.  But I did post it up here yesterday for a hour.  Then I deleted it,  because I felt I was getting nothing but negative feed back.   Everyone has a story of why they are a single mother.  And everyone's situation is different then others.  I thought this place was for us to come together and support each other!?!  After last night, I wish I didn't delete my story.  But the first two comments-along with my  pregnancy hormones.  I just said screw it-because the ladies that left comments don't even know me.  I felt like they were judging me.  Anyways, I'm going to try and over come that.  I wasn't married, I didn't know the baby's daddy long, and one of my many regrets.  The truth of the matter is my babygirl was concieved out of the heat of the moment and lust.  I do kick myself in the butt; because, I wasn't sure how long birth control stays in your system. I figured since I was on the pills; since I was a teenager.  That I couldn't get pregnant.  But I had heard of cases, of missing one day-and getting pregnant. Or being on the pill-getting pregnant.  I should of been safer!  But once again everything happens for a reason.  I could sit here and make up excuses, but the matter of the fact is.  I have a miracle growing inside of me.  

But I then, I think about the day I found out I was pregnant and told my ex I was.  Up until I found out the truth, he was all happy about it.  But when I found out it was true- it's like a part of him changed.  Within the same hour of telling him, he got mad at me; because I called my bestfriend of all people.  He has children previously, but this was my first one.  Of course, when I look back at all of our arguments.  I feel like, I was the one trying my hardest to advoid arguing and the stress.  And I would try to explain to him, let me calm down and think about things.  But most of the arguments, would just keep esculating.  I will admit that I'm stubborn.  But, I don't trust guys easily.  Especially, since my first true love (fiance') was killed in Afganistan. (2005).  It took me 5 or 6 yrs to get serious again.  The last guy I was serious with, was a alcoholic, verbally, mentally abusive amongst other down falls.   

Anyways, back to the baby's daddy.  He's 35 years old, and has 2 kids, for sure.  And there are 2 others, I'm not sure about.  But one his grandmother takes care of and she looks like him.  And the other I guess I'll never know the truth.  There are many reasons why I didn't take him back, when he tried to get back with me.  I took him back the first time we broke up.  I tried to get over the fact that he said he was going to make me have an abortion.  But the next day, we got into another intensive argument and the cops came to my house.  I was struggling to make things work.  But after that, he went maybe a week and a half.  And then the arguments seemed like they were back to the normal.  And he started getting stupid and dangerous.  The second time he broke up me, I decided for the best of my fetus and me.  He continued on with empty threats, etc.  I changed my number.  He showed up at a friend's house trying to get back with me.  I told him no, not until; I seem better changes.  Because i don't trust him.  I finally quit talking to him before New Years.  I want nothing to do with him.  But I want to get over this anger.  Because, I don't want to be negative towards my daugther.  I'm 20 weeks 6 days pregnant and due June 23.  I don't want to talk bad about him.  I doubt he will change.   He doesn't even take care of the children he has now.    Sorry for such a long post.  

by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:45 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
EachNewBreath
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:02 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh so sorry! just ignore all of the negativity on here. Its the way that someone chose to feel better about themselves.

It sounds like you have made a REALLY great choice about leaving the bd alone. I know what you mean though. My ex husband use to beat me and when I was pregnant I use to resent my child since I felt like he was keeping me teathered to an abusive man. I wish I had some advice for you. 

mnivis01
by Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:07 AM
1 mom liked this
The only thing you can do is remember what's best for you and the baby.

I kinda had the same situation as you. I knew my baby daddy for 6 years, but we were only romantically involved for 4 months before I got pregnant. He turned abusive. So we ended it.

My DS looks EXACTLY like his father, its hard to look at him sometimes. But just love that child because they are so innocent in all of this! :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
UnChic
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:10 AM

Thanks ladies!  I hope and pray that no matter what-I don't resent my little angel!  Because, no matter what-my decisions are for the best of her.  I hope.  I just keep telling myself, that she's my miracle and is the best thing happening to me. 

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this
Welcome to the group! It sounds like you have a strong head on your shoulders. Keep doing what's best for you and your child. You guys don't need to be together for him to be part of your child's life he needs to learn that. Good luck!!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
UnChic
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:17 AM

Thanks Nora! 

flawskii
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:39 AM

 Honey I can understand your frustration and your situation. I wasn't in the exact same situation but me and my daughter's father were friends since 2007. September 2011 I moved back to Ohio where we met to live with ym sister and we started dating and having sex. Around Thanksgiving he told me he was married and we never slept together again but a month later I found out I was pregnant. Told him I was and that was the last time I talked to him until I gave birth. I sent him a message on fb. He doesn't make an effort to contact me to at least see how his daughter is doing...needless to say everyone has a story and when I told mines before I got the same negativity. But oh well people will judge you till the day you die. Do whats best for you and your unborn. Keep a positive mind and when you give birth you will be holding a precious baby girl in your arms who's gonna make you feel all types of crazy love feelings and I doubt you have any ill feelings towards her. You don't have to speak bad of her dad to her either. I do hope everything works out for you!!

CafeMom Tickers
UnChic
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:59 AM

Thanks, hun!  I have to remember that. I'm going to keep telling myself, that I'm doing what's best for my babygirl. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)