I don't really know where to start.I've been distant.I can't really explain why, except maybe it's because I haven't been 100% present.my mind is always somewhere else, mainly because I'm worried about something and I can never find words to explain how I'm feeling properly.I've been angry.I've been getting frustrated really easily.I'm just tired of us trying to get things done and have every monkey wrench thrown in one Way.it sucks but I have to ecause that it will work out and by getting frustrated it just drive us apart.I've been ignorant.I've been going out instead of spending time with you, not just spending time around you.I wasnt letting you have time for yourselfand no one should be expected to be a parent all the time.
When we were first dating, I remember you asking me what my bigger fear was and I told you I feared being forgotten.I have realizd that if people can forget you then obviously you didn't matter enough to have left an impact on their life, and I'd be better offwithout them anyway.and I have also figured out thatmy greatest fearis being betrayed, and I let that cloud over the fact that I know I can trust you.
I've been an asshole.I probably pick most of our fights and the one I don't are most likely caused by me.like when I brought my sister to the party instead of you.theres no excuse.. I'm just an idiot.
Most of all, I've been sorry.I know that I wasnt taking responsibility for something I rightfully should. I wasnt being an adult and owning up to what Ishould have been.I was pointing out all these things because this is where my mind went when I was thinking of what we have in common.there are the things that I'd never owned up to and I'd like to own up to them now along with a resolution to make it better.
Also, it many not have counted to you but if we are both jealous, then obviously feelings just still be there.
Love always, R
On another sheet he wrote five things we have in common...idk what to think anymore.