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Child Support, custody, and visitation, oh my!

Posted by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 4:34 PM
  • 14 Replies
If you've read my last post you know recently my ex and I went to court because he hasnt been paying cs. They told him to have $500 by the 10th of april or I assume he is going to jail. Im hoping this is the last court date because its all one big headache. While cs is great to help with my son, I never wanted it at all, but my son is on medicaid and my job dont have benefits. I keep going back and forth on whether I should just get sole custody of my son or petition to have his rights signed over OR just leave it alone. My son's father has been in and out of his life since he was 5 months and the last time he's seen.my son was in December and thats cause he was upset with me over cs and started calling me a money hungry bitch which is crazy because I only asked him for pampers three or four times and I have a job. Its like he only wants to be a father when he wants, and aside from arguing over bs, I just want to be completely done with him. I have a affidavit of the things he bought from where my son was born until December last year, which wasnt much. Has anyone else gone through this? While I want my son to know his dad, it isnt worth a dad who doesnt want to be there for his son. Not to mention, I cant even have a conversation with him without arguing. Im just fed up. Any advice?
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by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 4:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tml0521
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:12 PM
Yes i have been there before! From working trying to take care of my son on my own living paycheck to paycheck just to keep a roof over our head. Trying to do everything without having to NEED or ASK anything from my sorry bd.bc i didnt want to hear the lies, i didnt want to argue over buying a pack of diapers. But thankfully i grew out of that phase, now i dont care if he doesnt want to be in his sons life. but one thing i refuse to do is make it easy for him and sign over his rights. And you shouldnt either, he may not want to be there physically but he should be there FINANCIALLY! so dont make life easy for him and hard for you! Kids are expensive.if he dont want to do it on his, then get a court order agreement, and tell him to argue with them.
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Gemini_MomOfTwo
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:18 PM
I know right? He lied and said he doesnt have a job, but its actually because he gets paid under the table. I was saying to myself, so basically you're mad cause you are being forced to take care of your child? Smh. ill be surprised if he does pay that money, but thatll be the last time my son would get money from him, which is fine. Sure helping out financially is great, but its nothing compared to actually being there. If he died today I wouldnt care. Harsh but true.


Quoting tml0521:

Yes i have been there before! From working trying to take care of my son on my own living paycheck to paycheck just to keep a roof over our head. Trying to do everything without having to NEED or ASK anything from my sorry bd.bc i didnt want to hear the lies, i didnt want to argue over buying a pack of diapers. But thankfully i grew out of that phase, now i dont care if he doesnt want to be in his sons life. but one thing i refuse to do is make it easy for him and sign over his rights. And you shouldnt either, he may not want to be there physically but he should be there FINANCIALLY! so dont make life easy for him and hard for you! Kids are expensive.if he dont want to do it on his, then get a court order agreement, and tell him to argue with them.

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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:18 PM
You can get sole custody and he is still responsible for c/s. Normally courts will not let him just sign away his rights unless someone else is adopting. Having sole custody is not the same as him signing away any and all rights.
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Gemini_MomOfTwo
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:21 PM
My mom said I should that, but Im tired of court dates. I hope the 2nd hearing is the last :-/


Quoting conniejo75:

You can get sole custody and he is still responsible for c/s. Normally courts will not let him just sign away his rights unless someone else is adopting. Having sole custody is not the same as him signing away any and all rights.

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tml0521
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:26 PM
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You will be surprised how a man will find a way to come up with money, so they will not have to be in jail. So never say never! Yes at times its hurt for the father not to be there. But there are good men who will not mind stepping up to the plate. So God has a plan you just gotta have faith hun. After a year a man came into our lives and i thank God everyday for him. So keep your head up and dont worry!
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Gemini_MomOfTwo
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:35 PM
Thank you :)
Its crazy cause I never wanted cs. I told him just be here for my son and help me out and I wont even file. At that time, I had no.idea how to get n contact with him or where he lived cause he was being an ass.
In time, I do hope my son will have a father figure and everything will fall into place.


Quoting tml0521:

You will be surprised how a man will find a way to come up with money, so they will not have to be in jail. So never say never! Yes at times its hurt for the father not to be there. But there are good men who will not mind stepping up to the plate. So God has a plan you just gotta have faith hun. After a year a man came into our lives and i thank God everyday for him. So keep your head up and dont worry!

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tml0521
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:52 PM
Same here! I even said lets come up with our own payment agreement and get it notarized. Bc i felt we were mature adults so we can handle this on our own. WRONG! He disappeard on me moced changed his number. But he ran off and got married and thats how i found him! Lol but its been 13 months since hes seen son. I was hurt at first but thats his loss and my man is picking up where he left off.
Gemini_MomOfTwo
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:57 PM
Omg! That happened to me too! He ran off and got married, thats also how I found him. I just want him to know that there is no more coming in and out our son's life and basically, he can be a stranger, it doesnt hurt me anymore. His loss.


Quoting tml0521:

Same here! I even said lets come up with our own payment agreement and get it notarized. Bc i felt we were mature adults so we can handle this on our own. WRONG! He disappeard on me moced changed his number. But he ran off and got married and thats how i found him! Lol but its been 13 months since hes seen son. I was hurt at first but thats his loss and my man is picking up where he left off.

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tml0521
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:48 PM
Right and thats all you need to say to him. He will realize sooner or later that him not wantibg to be in his sons life, he is shortening his own blessings!
MamaBernie
by Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:00 PM

this guy sounds like my bd i only  asked for diapers and 30 dollars a week and if he didnt do that then i would file for child support, it is there biological right to pay for these kids while were working and still need help from the government these guys need to pay or not see the kids at all and actually step up but it will get better

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