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Confused...

Posted by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:58 AM
  • 13 Replies
My son's father and I were never really together as a couple but we did spend 3 years together on and off and I loved him very much. When I got pregnant I found out he had a girlfriend of 6 years and he wanted nothing to do with me at the time. 3 months after my son was born he started to come around and embrace fatherhood. Now he takes his son for a couple of hours once a week and brings him around his girlfriend which of course makes me uneasy. Im not sure if its because i love him. Him and I get along really well, in fact, we speak on a daily basis. Which of course is making it hard to get over him because i never really fell out of love with him. Is there something wrong with that? Should we not be speaking so often if we are not together? Anyone else going through this?
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by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
breebree04
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:12 PM
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If he has a gf then you should not be talking to him on a daily basis. You should only be calling him if you need to speak to him about your son and thats it. He is holding you back from moving on. Plus if he had a gf of 6 years then that means he was cheating on her and you. You will never be able to trust him. You deserve much better. I hope you can move on and find the man you deserve!

easinpc
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:32 PM

 I agree with this mom!  Hugs!


Quoting breebree04:

If he has a gf then you should not be talking to him on a daily basis. You should only be calling him if you need to speak to him about your son and thats it. He is holding you back from moving on. Plus if he had a gf of 6 years then that means he was cheating on her and you. You will never be able to trust him. You deserve much better. I hope you can move on and find the man you deserve!


 

Jennifer0401
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:59 PM
You're absolutely right! Thank you!


Quoting breebree04:

If he has a gf then you should not be talking to him on a daily basis. You should only be calling him if you need to speak to him about your son and thats it. He is holding you back from moving on. Plus if he had a gf of 6 years then that means he was cheating on her and you. You will never be able to trust him. You deserve much better. I hope you can move on and find the man you deserve!


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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 1:16 PM

Welcome!

How does his GF feel about the two of you talking so much? 

My honest feeling is that if you are in such close contact with him, you're never going to move on.  I'd limit contact to just your son for now so that you have time to heal.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 1:31 PM
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Quoting breebree04:

If he has a gf then you should not be talking to him on a daily basis. You should only be calling him if you need to speak to him about your son and thats it. He is holding you back from moving on. Plus if he had a gf of 6 years then that means he was cheating on her and you. You will never be able to trust him. You deserve much better. I hope you can move on and find the man you deserve!


 I totally agree with this.   I was married to someone that cheated on me for three years and didn't even bother to tell me until he was about to deploy to Kuwait.  Don't ever be with a man that can't tell the truth, be honest or decent to women.  You DO deserve better in life.  Your ex should remain your ex and only a father to your child. 

Jennifer0401
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 1:42 PM
I don't know how she feels because her and I have not spoken. Through mutual friends I hear she is very angry and hurt about him having a baby with me. He has given me her number to contact her but that also makes me uneasy. I wouldn't even know what to say except for letting her know that my son is my world and reminding her that he is innocent!
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brieri
by Platinum Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:04 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

You are doing the right thing communicating.  Stay your distance a bit though, so not to let your emotions get in the way of what he is doing with another.  He may not love you the way you love him.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:12 PM

 


Quoting Jennifer0401:

I don't know how she feels because her and I have not spoken. Through mutual friends I hear she is very angry and hurt about him having a baby with me. He has given me her number to contact her but that also makes me uneasy. I wouldn't even know what to say except for letting her know that my son is my world and reminding her that he is innocent!


In my case I never want to talk to my ex's now wife.  She is the cause of my marriage to break-up.  I certainly don't have anything nice to say to her since she was actually sleeping with my ex while he was married to me.  I had no idea that he was sneaking around.  SHE knew I didn't know.  Of course she won't talk to me as she's half of the guilty party.  I even met her back when my ex more than likely first started to like her.  I think you should simply let things go with the gf.  She's hurt enough by the news.  Like me, I know she wants to move on.  The only person you need to be talking to about your child is your ex.  Yes, your child is the innocent one here.  But, it is best to forget about the other woman.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 6:36 PM
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You should maintain your space and get over him. He chose her and was choosing her all along. Why she stays after she found out he cheated and had an in betweener baby, not sure. However he has stepped up to be a father and you are doing the right thing letting him.
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Lurion
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 6:39 PM
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Sounds like he's trying to keep both options open--and both women on the line. Do evryone a favor and close one of those doors for him. 

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