I have a son who will be 9 in April. HIs father and I didn't have the greatest relationship but I always tried to encourage a relationship between the two of them. When my son was just months old the BD got back with his his ex. After that my son was nothing to him. I would call to see if he wanted to see my son. He always had something going on. BD would call and talk to DS but that's it. At around age 3 DS started asking why his dad was always so busy. I just kept saying that he worked a lot. He and his girlfriend got married. She was cool and tried with DS. She would call and arrange visits and such but BD was still distant.
When his wife got pregnant that was it. DS was 4 and was completely out of the picture then. I tried to arrange visits so DS could meet his sister but BD didn't want that. Finally BD called and said that DS and I were not what he wanted in life. He wanted a "real family" and not for his life to be compromised having to go back and fourth to pick up DS. Then he added that he would appreciate me not calling and bugging his family to see DS. But DS pushed the subject and wanted his daddy in his life.
We moved three states away but I go back often to visit my parents. Each time we visit DS asks me to call his dad to see if they can visit. It's always no. DS get's so sad and it hurt's him so much. My mom told me to stop. To tell DS that BD moved far away and that it would be hard to see him again. Just flat out lie. I feel like I should try because that's why DS wants and until he stops asking that I need to try for him. Anyone have this kind of experience? Will it hurt him more if I pretend the whole thing away? Or should I keep trying to push the subject only to see how he hurts with every no?