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Who claims your child, father is active

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We have a three year old. His father sees him a couple times a week. His dad doesn't make much $. But he makes sure to give me half the daycare money each week. We switch buying his milk and pull-ups and snacks. I claim my son on my taxes. Always have since I pay for 90% of his stuff other than daycare. His dad asked me why do I claim him? Simple. He lives with me and I pay for almost everything. I use the daycare credit and pay the daycare ahead so we don't have to pay for that month. And I take a chunk of that tax return money and put it in his savings/college fund. It's not like I use the $ for me. He asked if he would be able to claim him in the future, if he was more financially secure. I said no. His friends switch who claims their kids and split the $ he said. What if I'm in a jam, will u give me the $ he asked. No. I told him that was our son's $. If I'm in a jam I rely on credit cards or do without. Am I being unreasonable? I don't think so. He wants the $ for him. I put the $ for my son's savings. I will probably always make more than him. And my son will probably always live mostly with me. Do you claim your child?
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by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 7:29 AM
Replies (51-52):
by Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:46 PM
1 mom liked this
I completely agree coparenting is beneficial to all involved. And yes, financial situations might change in the future. One reason why I choose to put the $ to our son's account. Don't want him affected by our financial problems, if any. I figure we are civil, no need for the court to get involved. We even split holidays half days or just spend it together for our son's sake. As he gets older things might change. But now, what three year old doesn't want to share a special day with a parent.

Quoting LuckyMom822:

I agree. I would stay far away from court. That's why I suggest trying to make it as fair as possible. You never know what could happen in the next 15 years. I used to have a great job making great money. I made a good bit more than him in fact. The poor economy changed that. I'm depending on him more now than I ever have. His pay on the other hand, has gone up significantly over the years. All together, my ex is paying a lot more now than he would thru court ordered child support. I just can't afford what I used to. He doesn't mind because he can afford it and I have been very fair to him and he knows it. Co-parenting is a great thing and it is so much better for the kids. (that is if both parents are good people) Good job!!!

Quoting ngarciaf:

I make about three times what he makes. I'm quite sure I won't get much child support. But my son has all he needs. We don't want a judge telling us how to parent. He sees our son almost every day, unless he gets off work too late. He opened up his own business and works long hours. Setting up a strict schedule or 50/50 schedule is not an option. Our state is a 50/50 state, it wants both parents involved. We don't like the idea of having our child see one parent only for half the week and then gave the week with the other. I have an open door policy. We didn't work out as a couple but that doesn't interfere with our parental responsibilities. We even video call each other do our son can talk to us.

Quoting LuckyMom822:

My ex and I do not have the typical arrangement. In fact, we couldn't get divorced in open court because our arrangement does not have any child support included. The arrangement is joint custody. Dd is with me one day more a week than with him but its still joint custody. I'm the primary custodian. He pays certain things and I pay certain things. He covers the medical insurance costs because his job is more stable than mine. I claim dd even years and he claims her odd years. He is supporting his child AND raising her so why shouldn't he be allowed to claim every other year? Dads have rights when they want to be part of the child's life and if they support them. Be careful about court and assuming you get everything because you're the mom. Times are changing and courts are favoring the fathers more than they used to. My advice is to share equally or a judge may tilt the scales more in his favor.

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by Nora on Feb. 13, 2013 at 5:56 PM
Sounds reasonable
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