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Need Advice...

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 3:59 PM
  • 14 Replies

Hey Girls!

Okay, so I'll try to keep this background short.. basically my baby daddy and I split when I was 5 months preg. Our son now is almost a year (03/24/12.) He is dating someone who is now living with him and 6 months pregnant with a girl (yes our son was only 3 months old when they found out.) I JUST started dating for the first time since my son was born... Custody was never an issue with us, I would more or less bend over backwards for things to work for him to see our son. But now that we finally have fully seperate lives I am beginning to think more towards getting out custody agreement in writing and legal. There are sometimes issues where he ends up screwing me over (sort to speak.) I don't know how to go about this, how to appraoch this topic without it being a custody battle.. Our relationship is civil but also rocky... Anyone ever been in this sort of case? Any advice?

Feel free to ask questions or private message me and I can explain things better.. 

thanks girls!

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 3:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
breebree04
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:10 PM

Some of the issues he is screwing you over on may not change even if you go to court unless its child support (and even then you might get screwed) so the question is do you wanna open that can of worms if you guys pretty much get along? If the issues are that big of a deal and you know that it will change in court then just tell him that you are going to make a court date because you want everything documented so then there are no problems in the future. Try to explain to him that it could be beneficial to you both to have court documentation. 

brieri
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:11 PM
1 mom liked this

 Get it in legal writing.  You will be that mucb more ahead.

0324Momma
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:16 PM

The things are little.. he more or less uses me... I think the biggest issue is that we have set days that work for both of us for custody.. part of it is everyother weekend. Well his weekend will come and friday night when he picks up our son he will tell me that hes working tomorrow (saturday) and I need to either take him and cancel whatever plans i have friday night/ saturday day (if they aren't baby okay) or he will find a babysitter for the entire 8-10 hours hes working (usually his pregnant 19 yr old girlfriend.) This si the main thing I would want to change. I would want that if its his weekend he has to have his son.. saturday work is over time anyway..


Quoting breebree04:

Some of the issues he is screwing you over on may not change even if you go to court unless its child support (and even then you might get screwed) so the question is do you wanna open that can of worms if you guys pretty much get along? If the issues are that big of a deal and you know that it will change in court then just tell him that you are going to make a court date because you want everything documented so then there are no problems in the future. Try to explain to him that it could be beneficial to you both to have court documentation. 



0324Momma
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:17 PM

How do I go about this?  


Quoting brieri:

 Get it in legal writing.  You will be that mucb more ahead.



brieri
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:22 PM

 

Quoting 0324Momma:

How do I go about this?  

 

Quoting brieri:

 Get it in legal writing.  You will be that mucb more ahead.

 

 

 umm.  Get a lawyer and/or go to court. 

mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Check online in your state for "Family Law". Things may be civil now, but you never know what could happen. A parenting plan helps with custody and visitation. Tell him you're doing this to protect your child and yourselves.

MrsRinehart2010
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:25 PM

just tell him you would like to get a custody aggrement drawn up so that you guys have a strict schedual so when you son does start school (obviously when he is older) they will know whats going on?

Does he go to day care? if so say they knw you guys are seperated and would like a custody agreement on record?

0324Momma
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:27 PM

I dont want a custody battle I want to keep it out of courts and lawyers because it will get ugly.. im thinking getting it mandated?


Quoting brieri:

 

Quoting 0324Momma:

How do I go about this?  


Quoting brieri:

 Get it in legal writing.  You will be that mucb more ahead.



 umm.  Get a lawyer and/or go to court. 



0324Momma
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:29 PM

No he does not. I currently am unemplyed so I have him all day  long while his dad works. Our agreement is for nights and weekends


Quoting MrsRinehart2010:

just tell him you would like to get a custody aggrement drawn up so that you guys have a strict schedual so when you son does start school (obviously when he is older) they will know whats going on?

Does he go to day care? if so say they knw you guys are seperated and would like a custody agreement on record?



MrsRinehart2010
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this

 sounds like what most basic agreements are other then holidays and such. Keep in mind he may do reseatch and relize  he get him every other holiday (including bdays) He can ask to use him to file on taxes every other tax season. I woud do some research on your are before you decide that exactlly what you want to do. Becuase there may be som edown falls if you do it threw courts. I mean for now you could always have him sit down and write up and agreement and get it noterized in case you have to go to court then that agreement will be able to hhold up as evidence in court !

Either way do waht you think will work best for your son.

Quoting 0324Momma:

No he does not. I currently am unemplyed so I have him all day  long while his dad works. Our agreement is for nights and weekends

 

Quoting MrsRinehart2010:

just tell him you would like to get a custody aggrement drawn up so that you guys have a strict schedual so when you son does start school (obviously when he is older) they will know whats going on?

Does he go to day care? if so say they knw you guys are seperated and would like a custody agreement on record?

 

 

 

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