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wtf is his damn problem (kind of long)

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 First I want to start off by saying Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

 

Now on to my vent/rant/whatever you want to call it...

Me and my DD's father are not together. We never will be. It'll never work. However, that doesn't mean I don't want him to be a part of her life but I'm having a huge issue with him right now about bedtime and bottles. My DD is 19 months old and is still taking a bottle. She gets up in the middle of the night also, crying for me and wanting a bottle and since we share a room and I work f/t I give in and just give her the bottle to get her to go back to sleep. Most of the time she ends up staying in my bed. We went to the DRs the other day and she said no more bottles. Well that night my DD woke up around 3 am crying for her baba. I picked her up, soothed her as best as I could, asked if she was hungry just to make sure that wasn't the issue and then put her back in her crib w/o the bottle and let her cry herself back to sleep. I proceeded to go through the day yesterday (I was off) telling her that her baba's are broken and that she needs to use a sippy cup. She cried and whined a bit but she got over it. I told her dad about this and he flipped out on me telling me that "he's not fucking doing that and that I'm terrible and he doesn't give a shit about what the DR says".. well low and behold SHE DIDN'T GET UP LAST NIGHT! So now my problem is how do I get him to cooperate with me on this? She's supposed to go to his house this weekend and I'm afraid he is going to sabotage this bc that's just how he is so I told him he's not getting her for overnights until he calms down and can talk to me and be cooperative about bettering our child. I did this out of anger but I'm almost ready to seriously follow through bc I am sick of him doing this stuff to me all the time just to get back at me. Does anyone have any advice for me at all on how to handle a 26 y/o child? PLEASE and thank you!!

 p.s. he's trying to get back at me for not wanting to be "friends with benefits" just in case you were wondering why he was trying to hurt me.

banging head into wall

by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:53 AM
Replies (11-15):
meagn3388
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:28 AM

 nope, there's no CO and he most likely won't go there bc he knows if he does the reduction I gave hime in CS will get nixed and I'll retaliate by taking him to court for all he's supposed to pay. he's a vicious asshole to me and he's doing all this solely out of spite. how he thinks that helps my DD is beyond me. his mommy needs to let go of his and let him grow up, if he even wants to.

Quoting faerie75:

If there's a CO you can't withhold visits. If not its up to you but if this has been your arrangement expect him to not react well.

 

meagn3388
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:31 AM

 exactly and he doesn't like that one bit. he thinks that bc we have a child together that it makes it ok for him to use me whenever he wants to and not make any type of commitment to me. i asked him when he brought this up if he wanted to find someone new and he said "of course i do!" well tough shit then pal bc i'm not gonna be left in the dust once this "someone new" comes along. he's such an asshole.

Quoting abusednotbroken:

The nerve of hiim wanting "friends with benefits." You're not a freaking prostitute...If you have it at your disposal, I wouldn't even let her go over there. What a punk.

 

Robsessed98
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:46 AM
So you're saying that he's willfully refusing to do what the Dr says is best for the child just to hurt or spite you for not having sex with him? Ya, real mature. Try laying it out to him like that and maybe he will realize how ridiculous he's being. Have him talk to the Dr too. 19 months is definitely too old for a bottle.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this
My advice to you: take him to court and get a child support order and visitation schedule. Let go of the anger and vengeance. I'm sure he is a vicious asshole. However don't argue w him. Give him no reaction. Don't engage in arguments. Hang up or leave if he tries. Take the high road. Arguing back and playing these games w your kid escalates it. If you just take him to court and handle it legally then you don't have to bargain w him at all. Eventually most men stop this fuckery once they figure out you are no longer playing their game. My ex was the same way and we actually get along now.

Quoting meagn3388:

 nope, there's no CO and he most likely won't go there bc he knows if he does the reduction I gave hime in CS will get nixed and I'll retaliate by taking him to court for all he's supposed to pay. he's a vicious asshole to me and he's doing all this solely out of spite. how he thinks that helps my DD is beyond me. his mommy needs to let go of his and let him grow up, if he even wants to.


Quoting faerie75:

If there's a CO you can't withhold visits. If not its up to you but if this has been your arrangement expect him to not react well.

 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
abusednotbroken
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:28 PM


The audacity of some men... how would they react if the tables were turned? I'm glad you're putting your foot down. Even if he chose you, he sounds so flippant that it sounds like he wouldn't treat you good anyway. HUGS!

Quoting meagn3388:

 exactly and he doesn't like that one bit. he thinks that bc we have a child together that it makes it ok for him to use me whenever he wants to and not make any type of commitment to me. i asked him when he brought this up if he wanted to find someone new and he said "of course i do!" well tough shit then pal bc i'm not gonna be left in the dust once this "someone new" comes along. he's such an asshole.

Quoting abusednotbroken:

The nerve of hiim wanting "friends with benefits." You're not a freaking prostitute...If you have it at your disposal, I wouldn't even let her go over there. What a punk.

 



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