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How do I get over

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 7:57 PM
  • 20 Replies
How do I get over the bad things my children father did to me
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by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 7:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
pianokisses
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:09 PM
1 mom liked this

No offense but you cant lol. I still think about all the things Ive been through constantly. I think I about te things so much that some nights I dont sleep. It haunts you forever.

abusednotbroken
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Realize that you don't have to live with shame, fear, depression and eveything else he had you in. His reign is over. What you carry on in your mind is only there until you decide it no longer serves you, to give it up, deal with it and forgive.

abusednotbroken
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:57 PM

I really don't mean to cause a problem, but people do heal. I was abused for years and I healed from it. I posted below your post. I recommend the same advice for you. I am not longer haunted, no longer have PTSD, no longer in the stress, depression, fear...


Quoting pianokisses:

No offense but you cant lol. I still think about all the things Ive been through constantly. I think I about te things so much that some nights I dont sleep. It haunts you forever.



Lurion
by Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:10 PM

When you figure it out, PM me. 

Joneydee123
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:04 PM
I totally agree its really hard I tried but every now and then it hits so hard


Quoting pianokisses:

No offense but you cant lol. I still think about all the things Ive been through constantly. I think I about te things so much that some nights I dont sleep. It haunts you forever.


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Musiq_Junkie
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:07 PM
Shes right. I like saying this to myself "time heals all wounds (only if YOU let it)". U must forgive in order to move on. Not for the other person, but 4 urself to move on with ur life. Trust, its easier said than done, its something im learning to do now. And if u dont ur just gonna worry urself sick into a stroke or heart attack, but u have to stay strong 4 ur kid(s).


Quoting abusednotbroken:

Realize that you don't have to live with shame, fear, depression and eveything else he had you in. His reign is over. What you carry on in your mind is only there until you decide it no longer serves you, to give it up, deal with it and forgive.


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brieri
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:07 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

By consulting with a therpist to talk about the situation(s).

abusednotbroken
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:36 PM
3 moms liked this

Yes. I went to a relationship bootcamp in an effort to "save my marriage," which with an abuser, it wasn't something I couldn't fix or save, but I am so thankful I went anyway. I saw so much of myself and the mess I carried with me. I forgave him and had to even forgive myself for carrying all that stuff. The pain in me wanted to hold onto what he did, but I knew it was the wrong way to go and I wouldn't be released from it until I let it go. Forgiving isn't about saying, "What you did to me was ok." It's about releasing yourself from that bondage. I seriously don't dwell on what he did. I remember, but it's now my story--just like riding my bike for the first time is a part of my story. I no longer cry mentioning these things. I had it bad too. I was afraid to sit by the window after my separation. I slept with a bat under my pillow. I looked over my shoulder constantly. I had PTSD, but I read that the only way to get rid of it was to confront what I felt. I surrendered myself to it and dealt with it. The thing that kind of fueled me in that moment was that he had stolen so much from me that I was going to be damned to also steal from myself or let anything further trip me up. My reality is what I say it is and I was going to come out of this--not just as a survivor, but better than ever. I was going to be shinier, prettier, wealthier, smarter, wiser, etc than when I met him. I healed emotionally and everything else I am still working on, but I have come a long way. You see my picture? Couldn't even put it up when I was in all my mess.

You know, thank you so much for your post. You cheered me on!


Quoting Musiq_Junkie:

Shes right. I like saying this to myself "time heals all wounds (only if YOU let it)". U must forgive in order to move on. Not for the other person, but 4 urself to move on with ur life. Trust, its easier said than done, its something im learning to do now. And if u dont ur just gonna worry urself sick into a stroke or heart attack, but u have to stay strong 4 ur kid(s).


Quoting abusednotbroken:

Realize that you don't have to live with shame, fear, depression and eveything else he had you in. His reign is over. What you carry on in your mind is only there until you decide it no longer serves you, to give it up, deal with it and forgive.




Mocking.Jay
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this

One day at a time really. You need to keep your mind focused on positive things and look forward to another day. The key is to keep yourself occupied with more productive thoughts. I used to let all the negative shit haunt me and every now and then, I find myself getting angry because I don't understand how things unfolded the way they did with me and my ex. But honestly, we had more bad times together than good. It's the good that's worth remembering, but I understand how hard it can be to look past the bad.

reynab27
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:15 AM
1 mom liked this
Not true you might not forget and sometimes your not supposed to(i know this first hand) you might also may not forgive and that's fine too...but you can over come your past and the feelings you once had. For some it takes just a short time others a life time but it you can Do it if your open to it.....
Im was a molested child and fell victim of an ex abusive partner....i know first hand how hard it was and is....but its not impossible


Quoting pianokisses:

No offense but you cant lol. I still think about all the things Ive been through constantly. I think I about te things so much that some nights I dont sleep. It haunts you forever.


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