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Single Moms Single Moms

So now I am your friend?!

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:23 PM
  • 10 Replies

I call bullshit! 


This guy used to work with my mom, and when he broke up with his girlfriend he and I started hanging out. My mom as worked at this restaurant for 11 years so my kids have grown up there. We know everyone and everyone knows us. My kids have always liked this guy and I have seen him outside of their work before, but it was more so when they broke up. He tried to ask me out but I said no because he was way to close to my kids and if something went wrong then there would be another guy out of their life. He had been over at our house a lot and my kids were so used to it. 

Well, a few weeks after he asked me out and I said no, he went to Vegas with a group of people and came back in relationship with a girl from his work. When that happened, my kids and I were dropped like flies. Now he and that girl have broken up and the day after they broke up he starts texting me again. 

Today he has been bugging me to come see him at his work, he is lonely and bored and blah blah blah. GUESS WHAT! I have been single on V-day for the past 3 years and I may be lonely but I am not lonely enough to want to see someone who only has time for myself and my children when he is single. screw that. 

I asked him why he wanted me to come see him, and he said "I'm soooo bored and I wanted to see my friend"

that tore it. I have brought it up to him before about it seeming odd that now that he single he is talking to me again his response was that when he is in a relationship he closes off the world but when he is single he is an open book. I call bullshit! 

I couldn't hold my frustration in any longer. I said "Your friend? Your friend that you stopped talking to once you got a girlfriend? The friend whose kids you left behind when you got a girlfriend? And the friend that you now want to talk to because you are single?" 

I haven't received a response. I kind of want to know what his defense is going to be. I am sick and tired of my kids being left behind by every guy they become close to, including their father, because of a new relationship. I am not going to put them through that. anymore. The last guy I dated, never met my kids. I am very glad that he didn't because he turned slightly obsessive. 

Ok, I had to vent. I had to get this out of my system. 

by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Baby5678
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:06 AM
Yep, this is why I'll be single for a good long while :/
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momma1708
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 7:37 AM



Quoting Baby5678:

Yep, this is why I'll be single for a good long while :/


That is exactly how I feel. When he and I started hanging out more, it was nice because I had a guy friend. That is all I wanted. I don't want to be in a relationship. I just wanted a guy friend. I can't seem to have that. 

breebree04
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:39 AM

I get where your coming from but you have to see it from his side too. When you are single you have more time to hang out and do what you want. When you are in a relationship especially in the beginning the time you would normally spend with friend is now spent spending time and getting to know someone else. I dont agree that he should have blown you off completely but you do have to realize that the relationship isnt going to be the same when hes single and when hes in a relationship. If you started dating someone are you going to have as much time as you do now to talk and hang out with him between taking care of kids and getting to see your man? Idk, I have had a few friends do this to me and I try to keep an open mind. Usually once things settle down with the new love they come around alittle more but its never the same as when everyone is single at the same time.

Robsessed98
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:54 AM
I see where you're coming from, but some people believe that when in a relationship its not right to text, call or go to another woman/man's house. That doesnt mean they aren't still friends, its just a matter of respect and building trust with the person they're dating. Did he ignore you when he saw you during the relationship?
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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:13 AM
It's hard to say what to do unleash your in the situation. Good luck.
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:19 AM

Hugs!

momma1708
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:14 PM

The only time I ever saw him was when I went to see my mom at her job and he was working the same day. His gf worked there at the same time and when he came by to say hi, she shot him a nasy look and he never came by again. I totally understand what you are saying and I had no problem with that, but they were together for almost a year, I invited both him and his gf to the kids' birthday parties and I never once got a response or anything. He only ever talked to my mom. I didn't need him to come over here, but the fact that every guy friend I have had has done this makes me feel like I can't have guy friends who can hang out with my kids and myself. I always thought that guy friends were safe, boyfriends were not. Now I feel like any guy is unsafe regardless of whether or not they are just friends. I have guy friends but I don't let them hang out with the kids like I let him. 


Quoting Robsessed98:

I see where you're coming from, but some people believe that when in a relationship its not right to text, call or go to another woman/man's house. That doesnt mean they aren't still friends, its just a matter of respect and building trust with the person they're dating. Did he ignore you when he saw you during the relationship?



momma1708
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:19 PM

That is what I was expecting to happen but the entire time they were dating he had nothing to do with us. The only time we eve communticated with us was when he was working the same shift as my mom and we would go in and see her. If his gf was there, she would shoot him nasty looks and then he wouldn't come around again. He tried to date me but I wouldn't date him because he was so close to the kids that if things went wrong that was one more person who is out of their life. I feel like no guy is safe to bring around my kids unless they are family. 


Quoting breebree04:

I get where your coming from but you have to see it from his side too. When you are single you have more time to hang out and do what you want. When you are in a relationship especially in the beginning the time you would normally spend with friend is now spent spending time and getting to know someone else. I dont agree that he should have blown you off completely but you do have to realize that the relationship isnt going to be the same when hes single and when hes in a relationship. If you started dating someone are you going to have as much time as you do now to talk and hang out with him between taking care of kids and getting to see your man? Idk, I have had a few friends do this to me and I try to keep an open mind. Usually once things settle down with the new love they come around alittle more but its never the same as when everyone is single at the same time.



steviechick
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 2:51 PM

I think he's a user.  You obviously don't like the guy so I wouldn't text him anymore.   There is plenty of fish in the sea more worthy of you.

momma1708
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:08 PM
1 mom liked this


That is how I feel. I told him that I don't want him to be apart of my life. 

Quoting steviechick:

I think he's a user.  You obviously don't like the guy so I wouldn't text him anymore.   There is plenty of fish in the sea more worthy of you.



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