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Posted by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:23 AM
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Hey my name is Tia and I have 3 kids. Me and my hubby just split up after me charging him with domestic violence. He's in jail right now for atleast a month. The hard part will b when he gets out. He cheated on me all throughout the last couple of years of our marriage but I still miss him. I want to be strong and leave him alone and only see him when I drop the kids off with him. Any advice would b much appreciated
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by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
breebree04
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:44 AM

Hi Tia, welcome to the group! Ive never been in an abusive relationship but I have been a single mom for over 6 yrs. You can do it, stay strong. Its hard at first but in the long run you will be glad you got out. You deserve better (and one day will get it) and so do your kids

welcome to cafemom

Robsessed98
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:20 AM
Welcome to the group. Just make your mind up that you are taking back all control over your life and that he has no more power over you. You know you don't need to go back to an abusive relationship and it would be even worse for your kids if you did. Instead of focusing on missing him, take this time to heal and better yourself. You and your children deserve better and its up to you to ensure that you get it.
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:20 AM

Welcome to our group!  Hugs!

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:47 AM
*hugs*
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flawskii
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:01 AM
Welcome to the group!
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girlnextdoornco
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:40 PM

Welcome ~ sorry, though, for the reason you are here. I know being a single mom of 3 you don't have much time for reading...but....these reads are too good to pass up..lots of practical advice for a gal in your situation. "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson and "The Emotionally Destructive Relationship" by Leslie Vernick. Be strong for youself and your kids, mombaker.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 2:40 PM

Hi, Tia and welcome to the group.  I didn't come from a physically abusive relationship like you.  I came from a mental and verbal abusive relationship.  The worst kind.  My ex cheated on me for several years and fathered two kids in the process.  I had no idea he did this until he left for deployment.  We were married for 26 years - 23 when he started to have his affair.  You miss the closeness and having that bond.  I know the feeling.  I had feelings for my ex even though he put me pure hell and misery - even before his affair.  It's called being co-dependent.  My advice to you is to walk away and try not to look back.  Bad memories will only remain if you stay with him.  If he can't change for the better, then it's time for you to get out of the marriage.  You can't be happy unless you make yourself happy. 

mombaker8910
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:51 PM
Thanks for the encouraging words ladies. I know he won't change because I've given him way too many chances to and I know that as much as it hurts to be away from him it hurts twice as bad to be with him. Also I will check out those books thank you for suggesting them.
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brieri
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:10 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

You can do that after he's out of jail I am guessing.  Start a divorce and custody  proceedings.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:32 PM
Welcome!!!
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