Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms
So I've been completely single nearly 2 years. I met a guy ONLINE that seems to be pretty great. He has 2 kids (5 and 9)and I have 2 ( 3and 1). My parents mean the world to me and I would like for them to meet this guy and give me their view on him but I am terrified to even tell them about him! They believe I should not date at all until the kids are 18 and if I do it should be a man with no kids. Sorry so long! My question is :when to introduce the potential man to the fam? It's my birthday next weekend and I was thinking about then....



EDIT- we have met a few times and have talked on the phone every day for the last couple of months

EDIT 2- I've made some horrible choices in men in the past. I'd like him to meet my folks early on so they can slap some sense into me if I'm making a giant butt mistake. I don't have close girlfriends or people I really trust their opinions other then my parents. I'm lame I know.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:14 AM
Replies (11-14):
brieri
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:16 PM

 When you feel ready.

sarahmiamaria
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 7:52 PM
I've made some horrible choices in men in the past. I'd like him to meet my folks early on so they can slap some sense into me if I'm making a giant butt mistake. I don't have close girlfriends or people I really trust their opinions other then my parents. I'm lame I know.


Quoting steviechick:

You've only been around him four times. That's not enough physical time to be around someone you want to meet the parents.  I would spend more time with him - physical time then decide if you think he should meet your mom and dad.  It's up to you to like not your mom and dad.  I would, however, have the kids meet your bf first.  They should meet him first.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
wendythewriter
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:46 AM
2 moms liked this

I'm a lot like you. I have really good friends, but they're all married and so getting their opinions on men just isn't quite the same. They often view them through some strange lens of either comparing him to their husband (and therefore he's great or awful, depending on whether or not they're mad at their husband that day) or thinking he's great because he works so hard to impress because we're only dating.

I do trust my parents opinions, because they've always been pretty spot on. But, like the others, I agree that it's too soon. I also think that you need to learn to trust in your own judgment. See him a few more times, get a feel for how you feel about him. If you start to feel that things aren't quite right, then your parents adoring him shouldn't matter.

I also wonder if (and this is said as someone who has, herself, made some really bad choices when it comes to men in the past) there might not be some truth to your parents idea of you waiting to date. Not until your kids are 18, necessarily, but taking a little time to yourself might be helpful. I've found that being single has opened my eyes to how horrible my choices were. It's also helped me find myself again - remember my interests and hobbies, who I am, and what I really want out of life. I've had a few oppotunities to date in recent months, and I turned them down, because I'd gotten to know myself enough to realize that these men were not going to be any better choices than ones I'd chosen in the past. And...I've found I enjoy being single. And that enjoyment tends to attract more men - they're attracted to my independence and the fact that I clearly am not pining away, waiting for a man to rescue me from singledom. Now, of course, I'm not saying that you look/act desperate or anything like that. But maybe it wouldn't hurt to have some time for yourself with your kids, get some distance from the dating world for a bit. But that should also be your own choice - not somethng you do because I tell you to, or your parents tell you, or anyone else tells you.

Wendy Miller
Single mom of 2 boys
Author of Tangled Deceit for Kindle and in paperback
and The Secrets He Kept coming December 2012.
Learn more about her on GoodReads

Lita5202
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 7:19 PM

I'd wait till your serious about him to meet family.  you just met him you don't even know if you really like him. why put our family thru meeting him if you know it's not gonna go anywhere. Wait awhile and if you think he's a keeper meet your parents and kids or vice versa kids then parents. If i ever like a guy  my kids don't like. he's gone. kids come first. if i like him and my kids do. i don't care what my parents would say. they are always harder cause your their child.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN