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What do you guys do when you tell your kids their dad is coming and he doesn't...

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I told them they were leaving today because that's what he told me on vday. Now that I know he's not coming I feel like I have to take them somewhere to take their mind off of it because if not my son will keep asking me. I always do this. What do you guys do? I'm going to take them to lunch and then go bowling......then they are stuck with mommys boring laundry and grocery shopping lol. 

by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:52 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:22 PM

 Curious-do you have Custody agreement in place?

Quoting pianokisses:


UPDATE: No call, no text, nothing. I know him too well! I even stayed in the area for a few just in case he did call, but he didn't.

Quoting brieri:

 Generally I just say "I don't know" and leave it at that.  What time was/is he to pick them up? Did  he call today?  If he did, should have given the phone to the kids to let him hear his voice in the phone and him giving the answer about not coming.




by Ruby Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:44 PM
I distracted them then I never told them he was coming unless I was sure he was after that.
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by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:08 AM
I don't tell them. After the first 2 times he didn't show it's been a ill believe it when I see it type thing.
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by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:28 AM

With my son, I simply tell him his father is not showing up.  If he has questions about it, so ask his father why he didn't show up.  My son doesn't care, I think he's happier when his father is not around. 

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by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:58 AM

In the end you need to just be honest.  Idk how old your kids are, but as a kid my father was never reliable and bailed on us kids all the time.  I am now 44 and he has never changed, only 2 things are important to him 1) himself 2) booze.  Just try to be the best mother ever!

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:06 AM
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I am not a single mom, I just happened upon this post. but this has happened to me as a kid and I would for sure make sure the father is not telling the child when he will arrive, only you. Then I would not relay to the child in advance. A lot of times my parent was "on the way" , what a long way that was.

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:13 AM
This is sad. All these dads just don't show up. It happened to my DD many times. She was small though, a year old. She would just say "where daddy?" And keep asking but I'd just say "at work" because that's what I told her when we were together. She was okay with that.
She is now 2 and doesn't even know who he is anymore.
My son has never met him...
I offer all the time to meet up with him or let him have the kids for the day or even the weekend whenever he wants. He just doesn't. No excuse he just says no.
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by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 5:11 AM

If this happens often I just wouldn't tell them when he's coming. That way it will be a pleasant surprise instead of a let down if he doesn't show. 

by Dawn on Feb. 17, 2013 at 7:15 AM

I just don't mention him I learnt quickly he was not going to be there. He does not contact me any longer and the only time he is brought up is when Damo goes through our wedding pictures. 

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 8:26 AM
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I never tell my kids that his is coming until he is practically at the front door. Their peace of mind is more important than false hope. I made the mistake of telling them once and he didn't show up. It was devastating so I vowed to never put them through that again. I also never suggest or find ways for him to visit them. He's responsible for arranging it, not me. Life is challenging enough as a solo parent so no need to add visitation scheduling to the list of things to do. Just my two cents...
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