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What do you guys do when you tell your kids their dad is coming and he doesn't...

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I told them they were leaving today because that's what he told me on vday. Now that I know he's not coming I feel like I have to take them somewhere to take their mind off of it because if not my son will keep asking me. I always do this. What do you guys do? I'm going to take them to lunch and then go bowling......then they are stuck with mommys boring laundry and grocery shopping lol. 

by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:52 AM
Replies (31-40):
Sparkly3
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:37 AM

In the future I wouldn't tell them anything and when he is in front of that door it's a huge surprise. If he doesn't come as he said no  big deal no feelings hurt. As for today go do some thing fun and maybe put dad on the phone later

pianokisses
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:42 AM

He doesn't call them. And no one in his house will answer if I call. My hand up to God, they have only answered the phone for me ONCE in the past year or so. And that was recently. I think the kids grandfather answered because they havent seen the kids in so long. So that's not an option lol.


Quoting Sparkly3:

In the future I wouldn't tell them anything and when he is in front of that door it's a huge surprise. If he doesn't come as he said no  big deal no feelings hurt. As for today go do some thing fun and maybe put dad on the phone later



Idntreallycare
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 11:28 AM

I wouldn't tell them when he plans to show up... that way, if he does it's a nice surprise, and if he doesn't, they're none the wiser. 

MomofSCMJJA
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 11:51 AM

I don't know how old your kids are, but I was 8 when I moved back to the state where my Dad lived.  Instead of flying us to him for a week or two, my parents set up a standard "every other weekend" schedule.  At first things were great.  I loved seeing Daddy often.  But then came the day that I sat on the front porch for hours waiting for him and he didn't show.  My sister gave up on him right away, but I just couldn't believe that Daddy had forgotten me.  OVer the next three years, he didn't show more often that he did.  At first my mom tried to make up for it by taking us out or doing special stuff to keep us distracted, but after a few times, she finally sat us down and told us that although she was upset about him blowing off visitation, she couldn't make up for it.  It was his failing.  When I was 11, he moved several hours away.  We returned to the twice a year schedule. 

I didn't really understand until I was 15 and began begging to try living with my dad.  He sat me down and told me that he didn't want me living with him.  He was a bachelor with a busy life and didn't want the burden of children all the time.  He LIKED having his life to himself except for a couple of weeks a year.  Then he could pretty much take a break from his life to spend with us and then SEND US HOME.  It was a devastating rejection to me.  Later as an adult, I was able to see my dad more clearly and realized that he was one of those men who probably should never have been a father.  What he did with us was about the best he was capable of.  My mother NEVER bad mouthed him, but as I became a teenager, she also stopped making excuses for him and let me come to realize the truth on my own.

ms.sophsmom
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 11:55 AM
Ive already stopped getting dds hopes up. If her dad says he will call i dnt say a thing until he is actually calling. He has ditched her so many times... She cried, i cried... Eventually i decided i wld just treat it as a normal day so she doesn't get hurt by him bailing. Also, i dnt wanna hurt her by making her think its my fault by making up for his failures. And i may not always be able to do it so i dnt set her up for that let down.
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SMG1120
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 12:52 PM

Dont tell them he is coming. Let it be a surprise and if he has to wait for them to pack or whatever then so be it. By not telling them, they wont be disappointed or hurt that he doesnt show.

honey27
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 12:55 PM

when i was in this situation i would say he might come over today so they wont get their hopes up and if they are too young then i wont tell them ill just wait till he showed up.

EJs_Mama2k10
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:11 PM
*Hugs* I've never been through that but I saw it happen to my friend and her kids numerous time..we would always try to do activities with kids that would take their mind off of it. I have a 3y/o ds and I vowed to try to shield him from that kind of disappointment..I. wouldn't tell them next time until he's knocking at the door...
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vgmz22
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:14 PM

I usually tell my son his dad had to work late or got busy at work and couldn't make it.

Mrs.Vallo
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:23 PM

I dont tell them until he shows up or we are on the way there. No point in making them sad or upset about it. When my DS gets older then I will have them talk to him and we will deal with it then. But he is only 6.

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