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What do you guys do when you tell your kids their dad is coming and he doesn't...

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I told them they were leaving today because that's what he told me on vday. Now that I know he's not coming I feel like I have to take them somewhere to take their mind off of it because if not my son will keep asking me. I always do this. What do you guys do? I'm going to take them to lunch and then go bowling......then they are stuck with mommys boring laundry and grocery shopping lol. 

by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:52 AM
Replies (41-50):
ADHDmommyandson
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:47 PM

just tell then  something came up and dad cant make it and is sorry then take their minds off it bake a cake  watch a favorite tv show but please in future never say hes coming say he may be coming i was those kids dads coming id be packed ready to go wait all night he wouldn't show it sucked and still does and im 34  and he still does it oh ill come see you and  DS  and nothing he saw my son at 3 yrs old  he saw him again at 7 yrs old my son will be 11 soon and i will not tell him grandpas coming  when my father  tells me hes coming to visit  cuz i know there is a 99.9% chance he wont show  i just say  he may come hes going to try  but no promises 

cherokeegoddess
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:21 PM

i would wait until he's in the driveway and then tell them daddy's here. my niece was like that her mother and father would tell her they were coming, then they wouldn't show up. she basically told them to go to hell she was 13 at the time and i had custody.  so when they would say hey i'm coming this time she said don't bother i'm done. she has nothing to do with her parents because of all the disappointments and broken promises

kelliehelvie
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 5:47 PM

crappy dads suck. I'm sorry :(

AustinRonMommy
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 5:58 PM

I refuse to tell them that thier dad is coming until he's at the door. That way they aren't let down. 

Medusa686
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:14 PM

Its really hard when this happens. We've been divorced since son was 1 year old. He is 12 now and he is used to the disappointment.  It doesn't happen that often but it still hurts his feelings.  At 12 he is able to cope better but its much harder when the kids are smaller.  Once my son cried and cried.  I look at it this way, at least you (the mom) is there for them, it just makes you look better : )

sheymann
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:17 PM
Don't tell them anything. If he shows up its a great surprise, if he doesn't they aren't hurt.
ericahager2005
by Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 7:02 PM
I've gotten to a point with my ex-h that I don't tell them when he says he is coming. 9 of 10 x he cancels at last minute. It upsets them, so if he shows I let it be a happy surprise. It breaks my heart for them when he cancels or forgets to call, I refuse to let my kids ride that emotional roller coaster of promises and disappointments.


Quoting pianokisses:

I told them they were leaving today because that's what he told me on vday. Now that I know he's not coming I feel like I have to take them somewhere to take their mind off of it because if not my son will keep asking me. I always do this. What do you guys do? I'm going to take them to lunch and then go bowling......then they are stuck with mommys boring laundry and grocery shopping lol. 


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LADYxGHOST
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 7:07 PM

My ex husband does this sometimes, and it is heartbreaking.  However he really does try and make it every weekend, so one weekend every few months isn't that bad.  I try to put it in context and, unfortuantly for me, I stop what i am doing and set aside an outing for them or a pizza movie afternoon.  Something special to cheer them up. Now that they are older, I do not have to do that anymore, but then they where younger....they needed the cheer up otherwise they where angry and upset all weekend and I suffered and then next convo with ex was bitter and rude. 

sunshine389142
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 7:20 PM

For future, I would not tell them that he is coming anymore....at least not until he shows some consistency.

may8675309
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 8:26 PM
My ex would miss visitation so much and for so long that when my son was five he asked my ex if he could have a picture with him so he could remember what his dad looked like because he knew he was going away again. That was two years ago and the last time he saw the kids. Now he wants to sign away his rights.
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