Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you guys do when you tell your kids their dad is coming and he doesn't...

Posted by   + Show Post

I told them they were leaving today because that's what he told me on vday. Now that I know he's not coming I feel like I have to take them somewhere to take their mind off of it because if not my son will keep asking me. I always do this. What do you guys do? I'm going to take them to lunch and then go bowling......then they are stuck with mommys boring laundry and grocery shopping lol. 

by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:52 AM
Replies (51-60):
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 8:27 PM
Don't lie for him. Now that doesn't mean talk bad. It just means saying that you do not know why and you are sorry. Do not get into the trap of making excuses for him.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 8:38 PM

My daughter did not tell my grandson until it was time because he would get so upset.  So if he did not show, he did not have much time to be upset.

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 8:40 PM

In the future, no more telling them that dad is coming until he is in the driveway. And I would probably do the same thing and take them out. And I don't think it is a good idea to tell them dad just isnt coming. Maybe say he has a cold, or he has to work .. or his car broke down. or something. 

hugggs momma 

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 9:04 PM

I never say anything until right before pick up or drop off.

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 9:09 PM

Don't tell them he is coming, so if he shows up it will be a surprise, if he does not it won't disappoint them. I am so sorry that you have to be the one to break the news. 

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:15 PM

I feel for you, I have been dealing with this for  almost 7 years now. My dd is 12 and she is getting the whole picture. At first I would tell her when he was coming, then have to console her when he didn't. I just did the best I could to be there for her and listen when she needed or wanted to talk. I just told her something must have come up. Now she knows it is just the way he is. He tells her he is coming, then he texts her (won't call and talk to her) to tell her he is not coming. Of course he has the flu like 20 times a winter. Never take the blame and all you can do is be there. I would try not to tell them until he actually showed up and let it be a surprise. That way they are not disappointed, only excited if he actually shows up. Best wishes it is tough and I pray the best for you and your children. Just please always listen and know that they will know it is all on him in time.

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:27 PM

Men can be jerks. It's like they don't care or know how much that hurt the kids.  I never said a bad word within hearing of the kids. They found out what kind of person he was as they got bigger. I was not the bad guy.

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:29 PM

Usually I explain to her that Daddy is very busy and couldn't make it to see her that day. I then reassure her that her dad and I love her and that she'll get to see him soon. Until a few months ago that would suffice after a little bit of sulking. Now, however, she's into asking more questions and wanting to know why Daddy;s always busy. It breaks my heart. So, I try to casually mention it when he's coming or not at all. That way it's more of a surprise. Or, if she needs to pack and get ready to stay there I'll say he's trying to work things out so she can stay there. It saves a lot of heart ache. Then, if it still happens. She gets lots of hugs, told how much I love her until it makes her sick, and we usually try to do something fun here. It's still hard, but I don't know what else to do.

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:40 PM

 My sons father always flakes so I don't say anything unless he calls and says he is on his way. A little different situation for me though because I don't let him  take my son anywhere he has to see him with me present.

by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:54 AM

Don't make excuses for him.  They may as  well know that Dad doesn't always show when he says he will.  It is hard and it hurts the kids.  I couldn't depend on my dad either when I was a kid.  Know they are coming when you see the white of their eyes.  It is still a good idea to take them out somewhere because kids need to have fun with Mom too.  Mom sounds like she needs out to have some fun too.  Have a good day together.  What was his excuse? 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)