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how does visitation work when bd lives far away?

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:22 PM
  • 40 Replies
Bd is trying or at least threatening to take me to court because I won't let him take DD with him. He doesn't provide for her in anyway. Maybe a few outfits once a year...... He complains because he does not want to drive to see DD and does not call often.





I'm just wondering what happens with visitation when bd lives at least 3 hours away & I am the only caregiver for DD since day 1, and her surroundings up here are farrrrrr better than down there with him. I don't trust him, his family, or his friends. Ita driving me insane to even think a judge will rule in his favor. Oh btw he has no job, no car , and lives with his mother (he's 27).
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by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
828momof2
by Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:56 PM

Wish I knew the answer because my situation is sort of the same. Hopefully they would at least require visitation to be supervised at first so DD could get to know him. How old is she? I've always thought the NCP was responsible for travel if he/she wanted to exercise visitation. The only thing I know for sure, is child support has nothing to do with visitation. Try not to worry too much. He's probably just saying that knowing it's going to upset you. If he doesn't have a job, car, or home, I doubt he has money to file for visitation.

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:59 PM
When we lived in different states we had to do 6 weeks in summer and week at christmss and a week either at thanksgiving or easter.
Unless you get sole custody, he will get visitation whether you agree or not.
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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:00 PM
We have always had to split cost of transportation.


Quoting 828momof2:

Wish I knew the answer because my situation is sort of the same. Hopefully they would at least require visitation to be supervised at first so DD could get to know him. How old is she? I've always thought the NCP was responsible for travel if he/she wanted to exercise visitation. The only thing I know for sure, is child support has nothing to do with visitation. Try not to worry too much. He's probably just saying that knowing it's going to upset you. If he doesn't have a job, car, or home, I doubt he has money to file for visitation.


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_AshlynNicole
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:10 PM
That's exactly what I was thinking.... He's tried this before and claims he didn't want to go through with it and dropped it (I know its because he was flat broke). But anywho she's 3, I know I'm hoping they will be supervised also until she really gets to know him and until I can trust him.

Quoting 828momof2:

Wish I knew the answer because my situation is sort of the same. Hopefully they would at least require visitation to be supervised at first so DD could get to know him. How old is she? I've always thought the NCP was responsible for travel if he/she wanted to exercise visitation. The only thing I know for sure, is child support has nothing to do with visitation. Try not to worry too much. He's probably just saying that knowing it's going to upset you. If he doesn't have a job, car, or home, I doubt he has money to file for visitation.

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_AshlynNicole
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:12 PM
That's a lot! Yes, I already know I'll get sole custody & he will get some visitation. I'm just hoping its supervised at first.

Quoting conniejo75:

When we lived in different states we had to do 6 weeks in summer and week at christmss and a week either at thanksgiving or easter.

Unless you get sole custody, he will get visitation whether you agree or not.
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Robsessed98
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:14 PM
1 mom liked this
There's no way to know for certain how a judge will rule if it gets that far. It's definitely best to try and work out visitation between the two of you. Im in OK and here the visitation is decided fairly and when there is distance involved, either the non-custodial pays to pick up the child (my ex had to pay to fly and get motels for the weekend because he chose to live in CO for a short time) or the parents are ordered to half the driving and expense of getting back forth. You need to be prepared, because unless you can prove him unfit and in need of superviaed visits, odds are he will be allowed to take the child to his house during his visits.
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_AshlynNicole
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:19 PM
:( That's not what I wanted to hear. Can I prove that he cannot take care of her (no car, no job, no money)? How would he get her back and forth from places, or pay for her meals and other things she wants... Idk

Quoting Robsessed98:

There's no way to know for certain how a judge will rule if it gets that far. It's definitely best to try and work out visitation between the two of you. Im in OK and here the visitation is decided fairly and when there is distance involved, either the non-custodial pays to pick up the child (my ex had to pay to fly and get motels for the weekend because he chose to live in CO for a short time) or the parents are ordered to half the driving and expense of getting back forth. You need to be prepared, because unless you can prove him unfit and in need of superviaed visits, odds are he will be allowed to take the child to his house during his visits.

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PumpkinSpice8
by Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:20 PM
We lived 2.5 hours away at one point. Bd was awarded every Sunday for 8 hours to get to know LO.... I had to do all the driving bc he didn't have transportation. Then he got EOWE/H and we split driving (met halfway).
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_AshlynNicole
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:23 PM
I can't imagine driving to meet halfway at some random spot to trade off DD like she's luggage. And I also can't see me having to drive down there just because he wants to be lazy and can't support himself. This sucks.....

Quoting PumpkinSpice8:

We lived 2.5 hours away at one point. Bd was awarded every Sunday for 8 hours to get to know LO.... I had to do all the driving bc he didn't have transportation. Then he got EOWE/H and we split driving (met halfway).
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PumpkinSpice8
by Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:28 PM
It really does suck. :(


Quoting _AshlynNicole:

I can't imagine driving to meet halfway at some random spot to trade off DD like she's luggage. And I also can't see me having to drive down there just because he wants to be lazy and can't support himself. This sucks.....



Quoting PumpkinSpice8:

We lived 2.5 hours away at one point. Bd was awarded every Sunday for 8 hours to get to know LO.... I had to do all the driving bc he didn't have transportation. Then he got EOWE/H and we split driving (met halfway).

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